Let go.

Hi Guys.

We got a lot done at our meetings in Grand Rapids last week.  We’re about to give away the first big chunk of $100K money, and we are really excited about it.  In Grand Rapids, we worked through the details of what we’re able to give, and where it will go.  We’re supporting and partnering with a diverse group of organizations, meeting needs as close as Central Florida and as far away as India and Australia.  Lauren is on vacation this week, and I want to wait for her before saying more.  We will have a bunch of info for you next week.

I want to thank you because you guys are the ones that make all of this possible.  You guys are the ones that started this fire.  Your support is what allows us to do what we do, and your support is about to come to life as thousands of dollars in support for young people in need of treatment and recovery.  I mentioned the new website and book projects last week.  I’ve been writing every day.  I am attempting to write the most beautiful book ever written.  I won’t say much more than that for now : )

For those of you headed to Bamboozle in NJ this weekend, be sure to check out the following friends of TWLOHA: Anberlin, Bayside, Thrice, Paramore, The Rocket Summer, Say Anything, Between the Trees, Meg & Dia, The Receiving End of Sirens, Kenotia, Monty Are I, and PlayRadioPlay!  For more: thebamboozle.com

Cornerstone Florida, in Orlando, was a defining moment for us last year, and we’re excited to return next weekend, May 11 & 12.  cornerstoneflorida.com

And now for some writing…

I’ve shared over the last couple weeks that this is a difficult season for me personally.  That is still very much the case.  I just want to share a little bit of what I am learning in this journey.  First, I want to mention faith.  I have not written much about faith over the last year.  I wrestle with it (writing about it), as I believe that the language of the things I believe has, in many ways, been abused – the word “christian” means many different things to many different people.  Something that I have considered over the last year is the idea of learning a new language, presenting hope and truth in a way that is inviting, in a way that does not feel like an alternative universe/club/industry with separate music, separate stores, separate festivals (This alternative universe does exist, and it is mostly strange to me…)

I have felt since the beginning that TWLOHA would attempt to walk a unique road.  TWLOHA’s goal has been, and is, to meet people where they are, without judgement, without religion.  We are a project for broken people, led by broken people.  We have aimed to create something safe, something hopeful, something comfortable.  We have aimed to present hope, to encourage, to educate, and to see needs met – to see people step into the help they need, and to inspire others to walk alongside them.

All of that said, I have been reminded recently, in my own journey, that I cannot imagine my life – I cannot imagine walking through the pain of these moments – without my faith in God.  Beyond faith, it is a relationship, with Jesus.  There is a sense lately that He is with me, that I am not alone in these moments, that He is there in the mornings when the storms come through, and He is there in the night when I cannot sleep.  He is there in the day when my eyes fill with tears.

A beautiful way that all of this comes to life is through community.  It is not simply me alone with God, but I am finding love and support, hours of encouragement and conversation, in a community of people who see the world through this same lens that I do, this idea of a bigger picture, a redemption story being written since the dawn of time.

We were not meant to be alone.  We were meant to live in community.  We were meant to walk with people, to be known, to be challenged, to be held accountable, to be loved and encouraged.  We see God’s love expressed in all of this.

I have been deeply encouraged and impacted over the last week by a series of talks from Mars Hill (church) in Grand Rapids.  My favorite teacher is a guy there named Rob Bell.  (Rob’s brother Jon has become a dear friend to me, but I can’t really say that I know Rob, although Rob did give me a hug when I was there this weekend, and that made me smile.)  Anyway… I want to encourage you to travel to the land of iTunes… Podcast…. Mars Hill Bible Church…. it’s the one in Grand Rapids, MI (there is another good one in Seattle, but that’s not the one I’m writing about at the moment)….the talks I’m writing about are the ones between March 4 and April 9, April 9 being Easter.   

I was encouraged by the Easter talk about a week ago but the one I want to focus on right now is the talk from March 11.  It’s called “Leaving Control for Faith”.  I listened to this talk just before lunch, after a difficult morning.  (In seasons such as this one, mornings have always been the hardest for me.)  Anyway, I want to share with you the notes that I took from the talk… And remember, I don’t deserve much credit – all I did was take notes.  Credit goes to Rob (and God).  (And remember, you should download this one!)

“Leaving Control for Faith” Talk by Rob Bell.  3/11/07 – Mars Hill

Life is not predictable.  We do not have control.  We try to put people in boxes.  We try to fit people into our plans, the way we think things should look.  We want guarantees.

God only gives us enough for today.

There is much we can’t control.  There are some things we can control.

A guy named Moses is asked by God to do a huge thing.  Moses responds by basically saying “You’ve got the wrong guy.  Please send someone else.”  Moses accepts the calling and spends the next 40 years leading God’s people out of Egypt.  He suffers greatly.  His dream is to lead them to the Promised Land.   

Inititially, we see Moses respond with complete indifference towards the people he’s asked to lead.  But by the end he is saying “I would give my life for these people.”  

Moses works for 40 years, gives his life to leading these people, and God takes him to the top of a mountain, where for the first time, he sees the Promised Land.  Moses can literally see his dream.  And it’s here that God tells Moses, “This is as close as you’re going to get.  You’re going to die now.”

You can’t control what breaks, but you can control the kind of person you’re becoming.  Hard hearts that transform into hearts that beat for the things that God’s heart beats for.

We control our response.  

It is easy to say, “Life could have been so much easier… Life could have been so much better.”  We look back and see a straighter path, but the truth is that we are shaped in the places where our path twists and turns.  We are shaped in the long journey.  There are no guarantees from God, except that He will go with us.

Who have you been trying to control?  It is time to surrender that person.

Do you live with untold anxiety?  Are you waiting for the 6-month plan?

All we get is today.  God is with us on this journey.  Always.

Let go.

Rob Bell closed with these words:
“Jesus says ‘Follow me’ and He doesn’t say much more.

May you be okay with the journey.  May you identify, with the spirit of God leading you, what you can control and what you can’t.  May you surrender what you cannot control to the God of the universe.

May you ask yourself:
‘What is it that I can control?’
‘Who is the person that God is inviting me to become?”

End of Notes. (back to jamie writing)

I am being asked to let go of a dream, the thing that I would trade everything for.  It is an awful surgery, and I can’t honestly say that I’ve even begun to let go.  The truth is that all I can do is work on becoming the best man that I can be, the man that I was created to be.  Counseling on mondays, deconstructing and reconstructing my life. Making room in my heart for things to grow and bloom and breathe, and then fighting to protect it.  Choosing a life of community, where I am loving and loved, knowing and known.  Fighting for change…  If there is breath in my lungs, then I am asked to love God and love people.  And all that I can know for sure is that I do not go alone, that God is with me, that He loves me, and that He is in control.

Peace to you.
jamie

PS: Below are lyrics to a wonderful song called “Show the Way”, by a guy named David Wilcox.

You say you see no hope, you say you see no reason we should dream
That the world would ever change
You’re saying love is foolish to believe
‘Cause there’ll always be some crazy with an army or a knife
To wake you from your day dream, put the fear back in your life…

Look, if someone wrote a play just to glorify
What’s stronger than hate, would they not arrange the stage
To look as if the hero came too late he’s almost in defeat
It’s looking like the Evil side will win, so on the Edge
Of every seat, from the moment that the whole thing begins
It is…

Love who makes the mortar
And it’s love who stacked these stones
And it’s love who made the stage here
Although it looks like we’re alone
In this scene set in shadows
Like the night is here to stay
There is evil cast around us
But it’s love that wrote the play…
For in this darkness love can show the way

So now the stage is set. Feel you own heart beating
In your chest. This life’s not over yet.
so we get up on our feet and do our best.
We play against the fear. We play against the reasons not to try.
We’re playing for the tears burning in the happy angel’s eyes
For it’s…

Love who makes the mortar
And it’s love who stacked these stones
And it’s love who made the stage here
Although it looks like we’re alone
In this scene set in shadows
Like the night is here to stay
There is evil cast around us
But it’s love that wrote the play…
For in this darkness, love can show the way