You Have Not Seen Everything That You Will Ever See
Topic: eating disorder
Depression is not a bad part of my personality or a flaw in my character.
Amidst all the things I couldn’t control, there before me was something I could: my weight.
My eating disorder looks quiet to the outside world.
What I have done throughout my recovery is not only find a way for me to have a better relationship with food—although that is a major part of the process—but to also see the roots beneath the tree of my disorder, helping me to unveil the bigger picture.
I was always just a little too much, even when there wasn’t much there for me to even be.
The relationship with my body is a complicated one—with ups and downs, celebrations, and resentment, but as of late, a lot of acceptance and contentment too.
Eating disorders blur the image of who we are.
See Ed for what he really is: an invader of your space and your body as opposed to a part of who you are.
I ran until anorexia almost took me over completely. I ran until the scars tallied skin from my thigh to my waist because I couldn’t cope. I ran until I couldn’t anymore.
Even the deepest and darkest parts of my mind know that I am not a burden. The amount of space I require will never change that.
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