883 Days
I was in therapy for fifteen weeks, called the crisis line six times, and made one attempt to stop the pain. But these numbers are not the ones that define my experience.
Topic: suicidal ideation
A New List
Today I thought about the ways I could kill myself. A mental list formed in my mind.
My Version of Thriving
I’ve gone through much of my life in a rush to get through...
If You Want to Find Healing, Sometimes You Have to Stop Looking For It
Redefining Success in Order to Stay Alive
I lived on a hamster wheel, in constant fear that I would lose everything I had earned if I dared to stop and take a break.
The Story Of My Life
The story of my attempted suicide wasn't the entire story of my life...
Recovery Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date
Suicidal thoughts and self-harm urges do not define me. The ups and downs of my recovery do not define me. The worry that I'm disappointing my family does not define me.
There May Not be a Cure but There Is Hope
I stuttered, “I…I’m suicidal.” I nearly passed out as those words fell from my lips.
Love to Live
It’s hard to look back to those moments when I truly did not want to live. It’s difficult to admit you’ve had an honest desire to end your life.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
I’m no stranger to suicidal ideation. I hate calling it that, because it sounds so much more intense than what I feel, which is a passive wish to no longer exist.
Rainy Days and Dark Nights
None of this is easy, but it is worth it.
Before and After Depression
How you feel right now is not your forever.
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