Hi Guys.
My dear friend Kasey in NYC shared this with me a couple days ago. He lost a friend to suicide and these are his words. Thank you for reading.
jamie
My Friend Brian.
by Kasey Taylor I first met Brian at my church in Augusta, Georgia back in 1998. Upon meeting him I found out that we attended the same high school and lived fairly close to one another. Brian was a new Christian and eager to be at the church whenever the doors were open. I too frequented the church often and gave him a ride many times. He was a tall guy, around 6’4″, and me and my friend Chris loved to make him sit in the backseat of my 2 door Nissan Sentra. He was always a good sport and we always got a good laugh from it.
We accepted Brian quickly into our group. He was a funny guy who never minded being the butt of a joke either. I can recall us sitting around coming up with silly skits that we would perform at our youth group. These skits really had no important value, just some young guys goofing off and having fun. He always had a way of making me laugh.
Brian got saddled with the name “Hippo Boy” while he was spending time in our group. One day we were talking about what animals we would want to be and he chimed in with hippo obviously. He was “Hippo Boy” from that day forth. I may have called him “Hippo Boy” as much as I called him Brian.
Late in 1998, I left the church and our paths diverged. I had recently graduated high school and he was still in high school. For whatever reason we grew apart and didn’t really see much of each other. In 2000, I moved to Orlando and he stayed in Augusta to go to college. I only saw him once during the years at a bookstore. It was awkward like those “long time, no talk” meetings usually are.
Myspace brought us back together sometime in 2005. I found him and we shared pleasantries. It was good to know what was going on in his life again. Just recently I visited Augusta and we talked about seeing each other again. He wanted to talk to me about some things going on in his life before I came, but I never made the time. I figured I’d see him soon enough. I spoke with him on Saturday while I was in Augusta. We made plans to hang out that Monday and catch up.
On Sunday Brian took his own life.
When I got the news I was shocked, as I had just talked to him the day before. I did not get the notion that he was depressed to that magnitude. He sounded down, but I attributed that to simple tiredness. I wish I could have known. I wish that I could have said something…anything to get him to change his mind. To give life another try. But he didn’t and for this I am extremely regretful. I was too busy to care and have beaten myself up about this. Brian leaves behind a wife that I really know nothing about. I wish I had gotten that chance to find out what he had been up to and what his plans were.
I’m telling you about Brian for one reason. If you are contemplating suicide…please don’t. Don’t give up. Whether you believe it or not, there are people that care about you and will miss you if you ever were gone for good. No matter who you are or what you’ve done, you will be missed. Your thumbprint will be erased and no one will get to hear your story. If you feel like letting go, I encourage you to seek help. It is out there. Do whatever it takes to accept the helping hand. We want you here and we need you here.
Please keep Brian Rykken and his family in your thoughts and prayers. Earth lost a good one. It is my hope that it does not lose any more of their own volition.
Kasey Taylor
New York City, NY