A Pep Talk (To Middle School Me)

You’re going to be OK.
You’re going to do things you can’t even dream of.
You’re going to meet incredible people.
You’re going to love.
And be loved.

You’re going to learn to like the way you look.
Yes, how tall you are.
Yes, even your big nose.
You’ll figure out how to handle your hair. And eventually you’ll stop wearing too much eyeliner.

Be confident in who you are.
I know you don’t feel like you fit in with a lot of people.
That’s OK.
Be yourself.
It’s turning you into who you’re going to become.
And she’s pretty great.

Enjoy math for the next few years.
Calculus is going to ruin that for you in high school.
Stop worrying so much about your grades and just focus on learning. You really like learning.

Your music taste is going to grow a lot.
There are a lot of songs that will mean a lot of different and important things to you over the years.
Be proud of how much you love Fall Out Boy.
They are still your armor on tough days.
You still get emotional anytime you hear “Wonderful” play.
And you still know every word to every Backstreet Boys song.

Tell people how you feel.
Feelings are OK.
You’re still learning that.
But it gets easier.

One day a boy is going to tell you that you feel things a lot deeper than other people.
And you’re going to hold on to that.
Because sometimes the world wants you to believe that it’s wrong.
But he meant it as a compliment.
And now you see it as a strength.

You’re not going to marry the boy you have a crush on right now.
But that’s OK.
You’re going to have a lot of crushes.
And your first kiss isn’t going to go great.
But there will be better ones to follow.

That freckled girl is still your best friend.
You’re going to have a bit of a falling out during middle school.
But you’ll find your way back to each other.
It’s where you belong.
And you have a lot of other best friends now too.
And they are all amazing and unique and important.
You make their stories better.
And they definitely make your story better.

Keep taking pictures and writing stuff down.
You love looking back at all that stuff and remembering where you’ve been.

I’m not saying everything is going to be easy or happy.
You’ve got some moments of hell to walk through.
People you love will be gone too soon.
You’re going to have late nights where you’re longing for the right thing to say.
You’re going to have days you’re scared to walk outside.
But you’ll make it through.
And you’ll do it with friends by your side.
Friends who will sit with you while you ugly cry in their car.
Friends who will bring you caffeine after a sleepless night.
Friends who will go to concerts with you even though they don’t care about the band just because they know you need it.
You’ll be surrounded by people who love you.
And you’re going to let them love you.
Even when it’s hard.

You’re going to learn a lot of words that connect with your life.
Phrases like anxiety and introvert and panic attack and coping skills and emotional abuse.
And those things will make a lot of sense.
And it’ll feel good to understand them.
But they aren’t the end all of your being.

There’s going to be a night, probably the scariest night of your life.
It’s going to come when you think you’re in a good place.
You’re going to lose sleep.
Too much.
For a couple months.
You’re going to question all the progress you’ve made in your life.
You’re going to have a hard time talking about it, especially without crying.
You’re even going to have a hard time writing about it.
Or writing about anything for a while.
But things will get better.
You’ll grow from it.
You’ll learn it’s OK to cry.
It’s okay to feel your feelings.
Feeling things helps you process them.
You’ll learn how strong you are.
You’re going to learn what to hold on to and that it’s OK to let go of some things.
And some people.

He won’t always be in your life.
His voice won’t always be the loudest in your head.
He won’t always define who you are.
He doesn’t define who you are.

So I repeat:
You’re going to be OK.
You’re going to get tattoos.
And learn to longboard.
You’re going to live in the Rocky Mountains.
And in a beach town.
You’re going to produce movies.
And officiate a wedding.
You’re going to write terrible poems.
And heartfelt blogs.
And even a novel.

You’re going to dream big.
You’re going to live your dreams.
And then you’re going to dream some more.

You’re going to be more than OK.