I was twelve when my Aunt Missy killed herself. She was the only person I knew with a mental illness, though no one ever called it that. I had never attended a funeral of a suicide victim before hers, and I had never been told a brain could be ill. I’d been raised in the evangelical church and laziness was the first lie I believed. The second was that I couldn’t be a Christian and still have a mental illness.
Sixteen years later, I finally understood what Christianity and mental illness looked like. It was mid-September 2012, and I had been a youth pastor for a decade. I came home one weekend from an out-of-town interpreting assignment carrying a sick feeling in the deepest part of my gut. I felt hopeless. I remember wishing I could wake up from the horrid nightmare of anxiety and depression, while already being convinced things would never get better.
I left home that Sunday night knowing it would be the last time I would see my wife and baby boy. His first birthday was the following weekend, but I wouldn’t be there to celebrate. In the moment, I wasn’t sure if I was completely insane or absolutely desperate, but I was fully aware of the failure that would forever mark my life, and I chose to die anyway.
Preparing to die is surreal. I’m not sure how to even describe it. Imagine something fantastically terrible. In some ways I felt like a marionette, watching my hands scribe the darkest letters imaginable. I knew the choices I was making. I comprehended the secret plans I was devising. Yet it felt like my hands worked independent of my mind.
I knew my death would hurt my family and friends. They’d be shocked and even miserable for a while. But life does go on. I told myself they would be OK without me.
After three days in ICU, when the doctors decided my liver wasn’t going to fail and I had regained feeling in my legs, I was released and immediately transferred to the psych ward.
The psych ward. Me. The former worship leader. The youth pastor. The Christian radio host. The blogger. The ministry school graduate. The father. The husband. The outgoing one. The friendly one. The upbeat one. Me. I was sitting in a wheelchair, headed to the psych ward. And I stayed there for several days.
That’s when my healing began.
If I had died four years ago, I would’ve missed so many things. I would have missed a whole and healthy marriage. I would have missed my wife becoming my very best friend. I would have missed the relationship I have built with my little boy: his laughter, curiosity, and fierce love for his daddy. And my little girl would have never been given the chance to make our family complete.
Over the past four years, the power of vulnerability, courage, and grace has made my life better. But that hasn’t happened in a vacuum. Transformation has come from connecting with other people through our brokenness, not in spite of it. Being willing to own my story and giving other people permission to own theirs is saving my life every day.
I’m a pastor, and I once attempted suicide because my brain has an illness that is no different from heart disease or cancer. I require medication to function as normally as possible, and I have to visit a specialist to keep track of my progress.
I’m writing about this because the stigma surrounding mental illness, especially in Christian communities, keeps people locked in prisons of shame, refusing to admit that they need help.
If you’re struggling and feel alone, please know that you can still be a Christian and have a mental illness. I am living proof of that.
BA
Thank you Steve. That was powerful to read. As a Christian myself, we can sometimes add guilt to our depression because we feel like we should have it altogether because we have been given something so precious and we possess a great hope in Christ. And so, to feel depressed despite having this amazing gift, makes us feel even more guilty. But it’s an illness. In our communities, we have to share the message that it is an illness, not a lack of faith. Thank you.
Steve Austin
Thank you for reading and responding! So nice to hear that someone else “gets it”. Empathy and compassion go a long way in Christian communities. -Steve
Dylan Liebhart
This was really good but I wish you would’ve elaborated on how things were within the church and your role as youth pastor while suffering more.
I started suffering from mental illness during my sophomore year in high school. I was very involved in church and youth group and for the longest time people told me to just pray about it.
Mental illness doesn’t work that way.
Jo
I completely get what you mean. It would be helpful if maybe he could elaborate on that part and how the process impacted his role in the church. As leaders it seems like we always have to have it together but we are humans too.
John
I think that would be a whole different article, just so he can stay on point of this article. I would love to read an article all about that, and how you bounced back from ministry after the psychward.
Scarlett Weber
This is really eye opening, and helpful. Bless you!
Faye
I feel this on so many levels. I have Bipolar 2 and am a Catholic. The words mental illness in my community are met with three reactions. Pray harder, you have a devil in you, or you’re going to hell. It saddens me to find such a lack of understanding and judgement in my community. I have made it a point to raise awareness and end stigma in my community as much is I can. If you have a mental illness, you should not be ashamed.
L.
Thank you so much for this.
Brae
Thank you for your story and words. Your words give hope as I strive towards pastoral ministry having survived a suicide attempt. God bless you, your family, and the ministry He has placed you in
I'm still here...
I just want to say thank you Steve Austin… Not for only making mental issues relatable to me but revealing the stigma around Christian people and depression, or mental illness. As I sit here having another, “dark day” I read your story and it struck a chord in my soul. I’m from a Baptist family, and I believe in God and love Jesus, however growing up struggling with depression and anxiety starting at 14 years old, it was almost like I wasn’t “allowed” to be depressed because Christian people “have no reason to be depressed; we’ve got Jesus”. Even now I’m still struggling, and it’s hard being brought up in an environment where mental illness feelings unacceptable in the Christian community as an “actually illness” or daily struggle. “The joy of the Lord is my strength” and “thou shalt not fear, for I Am with you” may bring peace to some, but not always to me and I never know why. It’s almost like in Christianity if you struggle with mental illness your “walk with God isn’t close enough” which what I’ve heard so many times when I try to seek help. It’s exhausting, and frustrating, and depressing in itself, because us Christians are supposed to love one another and not bring each other down. I really wise more Christians would stop hiding behind this stigma that just because I love God, this doesn’t mean that my mental illness can’t cause me to think about dying all the time. It’s not fair, it’s so close-minded, and costs people their lives. If you’re a Christian person you need to understand that mental illness can still affect you and that doesn’t make you any less of a Christian, or mean that you don’t need help.
JC
Your story sounds like my story. I once tried to talk to my Southern Baptist mother about my anxiety and she quoted the “Do not be anxious about anything” scripture back to me. I haven’t tried to talk to her about it sense because I feel she just doesn’t understand.
What have you done to try to break the stigma, especially in the Christian community?
Nicole
Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing your story. It will help so many others who feel ashamed or judged. Yes, Christians can have mental illness– so do I. And no, attempting suicide does not mean you are lazy. Unless you have been there you cannot fully understand– but you /can/ be understanding and kind. Please, lets be there for each other and build each other up instead of tearing each other down (Galatians 5:14-15, Ephesians 4:29).
Michele Gyselinck
Welcome to the “club”. You’re not the only one. I developed schizophrenia at the age of 28, and depression was my main negative symptom. I also tried to kill myself, or at least considered it seriously enough to (comment removed due to content), but I ended walking away without having done it. I too need medications to control my symptoms, and to see a psychiatrist. It IS a lie to say that you can’t be a Christian AND have a mental illness, and those who perpetuate it do so out of ignorance and prejudice. They have a problem accepting that one’s emotions and thoughts can be reduced to a chemical imbalance in the brain, which is resolved with medication. But when people have a headache, it’s not because their brain has a lack of Tylenol. Things are not that cut and dried. People need to be educated about mental illnesses. But laziness is in the court of those who make ignorance a virtue.
Danie
Thank you for this! So many times I felt that sinking feeling deep in my stomach when I would tell one of my church friends I was depressed and they would tell me “just pray about it, God is bigger than your problems”. And it’s true. God is the Almighty. I believe he will use this to mold me into something so much better and stronger. But I don’t think I should just pray and do nothing else. Why can’t I pray AND get help. Why can’t I help myself as much as I can while God does the rest? Doing nothing and waiting for him to fix me, in my opinion, would be the true laziness, as opposed sitting at home not being able to get out of bed. We need to stop doing this in church. We are accepting our issues as they are and refusing to act and take the blame for the destructive behaviours we do. Because yes, when you are mentally ill, overworking yourself, not eating healthy and not exercising and sleeping well is destructive Behaviour. But somehow the church idiolizes people who “work hard” and give it their all. So many of us are suffering in silence yet we all act suprized when a fellow church goer dies by suicide. If telling him to pray is the best you can do, you are failing as a Christian because there os so much more that can be done.
Jean U.
This was realistic and touching. You hold those fears inside hoping no one will know, that you’ll somehow make it past. I’m so glad you made it through. Keep holding on, reaching out, taking your pills. Your words help.
April L.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are right, about the stigma Christians face. I was told by a so called friend that if I prayed harder and more, I wouldn’t be depressed. I told her she was wrong, that it’s really a chemical imbalance in the brain. She disagreed with me. I’m still pushing through, getting help, and on good meds.
Charity
Thank you so much for sharing! I needed that encouragement that it is not just ok – but healthy to own your story. Being a Christian and involved in church as well, I’ve been struggling to own what I’m going through even though I am sure that God will use it for good…it doesn’t always feel like that now.
Thank you for your openness.
Rebecca
Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my husband 5 years ago to suicide. I am now walking through chemotherapy right now because I have breast cancer.i struggle with depression and it sucks.
LA
I too once attempted suicide. I honestly believe I should have died. But I didn’t. I 100% believe it is because of the grace of God that I am still here. And I am grateful! Things aren’t a whole bunch better, but I’m glad to be alive! After going through that scary experience, I’m just so glad to be here! That’s not the way I want to go. When I die, I want it to be part of God’s plan. While I’m here, I’m just going to try my best. My mission in life is to make everyone around me feel loved. When I make others feel better, it makes me feel better. Every day I pray to be a kinder person than the day before.
Terezka
I know that. I am a Christian and I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for more than four years now. I tried to kill myself more than once. I was suffering also from eating disorders. But everytime I fell down I looked at Christ and I asked for forgiveness and mainly for help. I know God loves me no matter what.
Now I feel better I hope. When I’m down I hear God coming. And He comes not just one time, He comes every time I need it. My mental illnesses are disappearing because of Him.
Pingback: What's it Like to be a Christian with a Mental Illness? | I am Steve Austin
Alyx
This is just one of the many things I was wondering about, and you answered it!
Thank you!!:)
Randy Alonso
Courageous, bold needed! Thank you. I am a Christian Pastor who works at serving 1300 other Pastors and Ministry Leaders around the world.
Rachel
Thanks. I relate.
Matt
Good write up and and even better to know you’re with your best friend and complete family. I can see and understand where you’re coming from – I’m no Christian or any religion at that matter – but we went through the same – I said my goodbyes to my little girl (just turned 1; she didn’t know) wrote that note and attempted ‘it’. I was the happy guy, laid back guy, the family clown ! And like you say – an illness wanted me to end it all! I still struggle but I’m fighting it – and I’ll fight it with you too. All the best, Steve. Keep on keeping on
Daniel McRae
Steve,
I am attempting the same thing. I am scared to death of my surroundings and need to reconnect in a more positive way. But your story hits home with me. I am a christian who is a recovering alcoholic, still smokes cigs. and copes with a mental handicap also. I miss my ex-wife and kids. But I made my bed and try to move on but face the same issue. I am stuck but I open my heart to you and others of similar backgrounds.
Carrie
Your words are so powerful; thank you thank you thank you for having the courage to share this part of your story. My heart warms knowing that you are now in a better place, and I identify with what you’ve written so much. Praying for your continued healing and sending you love as your sister in Christ.
Claire
Thank you for your honesty. It was courageous of you to share your story. Thank you.
Ella
thanks for this. its really helpful. im a young christian with depression and it gets really hard finding that gap between christianity and mental illness. i was self-harming for about a year and now i’m finding help and it sometimes gets hard living with the guilt because its like i disappointed god.
Josie
Very real testimony! Being a missionary, where you live your life for others, or so you were told! The guilt, you suppose to help other and here you needing help! Thank you, I live this everyday, christian and I have a mental illness! Thank you
Erin
Thank you for sharing. It helps me on my worse days to appreciate what I would have missed if I had died a few years ago.
Rayven
This was so good. Thank you for your vulnerability.
Judith M Lambert
Thanks for sharing this with me.
Olive Coakley
Thank you for this. As a Christian I am struggling thinking about losing God. In Romans 8:6 it says The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. My friend in bible study asked does that mean people with anxiety and depression are not focused on God? I have really struggled answering this but my answer was it’s a mental illness I really can’t help it. Sounds like a bad excuse to me. If you have an answer let me know. If you don’t it’s okay there in never a clear answer that applys to everyone. Thank you and God bless
Janae
Thank you so much for posting this. I’m a Christian and I have struggled with depression for most of my life. It’s so nice to hear that other people are dealing with the same things. That’s one of the most crippling things depression has done to me– tell me that I’m alone and I’m the only one with depression in a lobby of smiles. Thank you.
John
I really needed to read this today. I am a leader in my church and lately I have been really struggling with my depression since I have graduated college. It is nice hearing the testimony of somebody who can relate in some way. Thank you for sharing.
Jackie
thanks for being vulnerable and sharing!
Christina
Thank you so much for sharing this, sharing your story. This is the tough situation that I am struggling through right now. I started therapy after almost a decade of battling depression and yet the constant response Christians and the church in general is that you aren’t praying enough or even a true Christian at all. Which is more than painful, not to mention isolating. I believe at the end of the day, it stems from the stigma surrounding mental health, the ignorance of the fact that it is an illness the same as any other, therefore deserves treatment like any other. It has been such a difficult, trying time for me and there are many times I feel like my hope is dwindling to nothing
Becky Ebert
Hi Christina.
Thank you for commenting on Steve’s blog and sharing your struggles with us, and others who might be experiencing something similar. Please know that you are not alone. We are glad to know that you are seeking help and treatment. We hope that by sharing stories such as Steve’s, we can contribute to breaking down that stigma you are speaking of. If you would like to share more of your story with us, you can email [email protected].
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Anna
I didn’t know I needed this until I read it. It’s funny how we stumble upon things. It’s almost 3am right now, and I’m on twloha.com instead of sleeping. I’ve been struggling with depression for about 7 years now, and I’m finally at a better place in my journey with it. I feel like I have an upper hand. But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow doing something wrong by wanting to fully rely on God and using my psychiatric meds as a means to do that. It feels wrong in a lot of ways. MY family looks at me funny when I take my nightly doses, or try to tell them a Christian lyric has really spoken to me in light of my depression (I have a tattoo of a Christian lyric right above my self-harm scars). I think they are two massive aspects of my life that, more or less, have made me who I am. My faith and my depression have made me the person I am. What a scary thought to think. Either way, I am glad to be who I am today: a God-loving, sometimes-sad, learning-to-love-herself child of the One True King.
Thank you for this. It’s always an incredible feeling realizing you’re not in it alone.
Stephanie
Is there some way I can reach out to Steve to have a conversation about his blog? I am also a Christian and I have a mental illness and, well I’d just like to talk to him about a couple of things. Thank you,
Stephanie Hart
Hallie
This is so necessary. And I needed this so desperately at this very moment. Major depressive disorder is a thief and a liar. It so cunningly tries to steal every shred of faith you have, but our great Savior is so much bigger. Thank you for this! An encouragement to my heart. Peace of Christ, friend.
Leslie
Beautiful. Thank God this is going Away somewhat. Well maybe not. But I say to hell with them & call myself a Jesus follower. Christians are effing up an awful lot right now. I’m glad you’re still here. God bless.
Robert Lee
This is something so dear to me. I am being led to write about this but it’s so difficult to find any specifically christian material concerning men’s emotional health.
leslie Wagner
Thank you for telling your story……..Thank God you were given the ability to tell your story so well to so many. God Bless you
SA
I am so glad you shared this information and more importantly God saved your life twice already to be here with your family!
Tracey
Your story is very concise. A happy ending….I’ve had many happy endings…problem is my depression began when I was 14, it was 1969…probably if mental illness was not still a thing of shame, I might not have suffered for so many years….then prozac, wow. It worked, then it didn’t. Such is the story of many years bouncing from SSRI to SSRI, etc….as I get older depression gets darker and darker….harder to cope. I never, ever feel I measure up, Raised Catholic…at 16 knew it was a lie….move to NC and finally found out about the Jesus who is a friend who sticks closer than a brother…but I continually fail him every day and my confession to him seems empty….I am now coping with severe anxiety. I don’t want to hurt my family, that’s what keeps me here. Just wanted to know more about you.
Becky Ebert
Hi Tracey,
Your courage to speak about your struggles with mental illness is inspiring. We appreciate your honesty and openness. Please know that you are not failing anyone, we are human and that comes with hardship and struggle. And reaching out to your family is another place to start searching for support and help, too.
Please email us at [email protected] so we can provide you with some support and possibly know more of your story, if you would like to share. Our team would be honored.
We also invite you to seek out professional help. Our Find Help page is a good place to start: twloha.com/find-help
You can also text TWLOHA to 741741 via Crisis Text Line at any time (it’s available 24/7, 7 days a week). It is free of charge, and you will be connected with a trained counselor. Please know that you don’t have to go through this alone.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Gh kleiner
Hi,
I’m a Christian too, almost died at my own hands. I have depression anxiety and attention deficit disorder. My events were 8 years ago, my wife left me, my dad died. I made it through. I discovered joy from art and jesus. Thanks gh kleiner the empathic artist
Tamera Johnson
We have been the Christian Family that has not been there for those with a mental illness…using the lines…pray more, memorize more scripture, rebuke satan, etc. But I praise the Lord for His gracious way of preparing us for our sons mental illness. First the Lord called one of my closest friends to be a counselor and she said I am just going to keep bringing these people back to Gods word…but the Lord brings her people that are not just backslidden. Then the Lord brought to our little country church a young couple who are training in our area to go on the mission field and one day the wife opens up about her Dads suicide and how she could not recover from the depression she was having. Then I go by our towns library and there is a flyer for NAMI. With in a couple weeks our son was admitted in a center for mental disorders and our journey began. Thank you for your article and insight, I know the Lord has put all this together to help us and just being online tonight He has brought me some good articles and books to read. I will be praising the Lord for the help you got and are giving to others!!! Serving Him together..Tamera
Becky
Tamera,
We are glad this post helped you and your family. We are so glad that you are finding ways to support your son through his struggles with mental illness. The fact that you are open to changing and growing, is encouraging and courageous. We hope this continues well into the future.
Please know that you, your son, or anyone from your family is welcome to email our team at [email protected] when you want to share your story about mental health or are looking for encouragement and support.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Cameron Page
Hi guys. I just wanted to ask if any of you tried using medical marijuana for anxieties and migraine? I’ve been suffering severe anxiety for almost a year now and been given a prescription for Benzodiazepines for my medication. But i heard alot of people telling me that marijuana helps relieve anxiety but im not im not sure if its true so i came up to search something about this idea and came across this marijuana strain from https://www.bonzaseeds.com/blog/cannatonic/ it says that i can discard all forms of stress and its euphoric buzz it delivers often is useful in combating anxiety and depression. I wanted to hear your thoughts about this guys and if you can give me any tips that can help me with my anxieties. Thank you!
Ida
I am currently battling with depression and anxiety. When I ask for prayer, I know the intention is good from believers to rebuke that spirit in the name of Jesus. And I want to rebuke all spirits, but I don’t know. I can’t sleep, I cry constantly. I feel miserable. Thanks for sharing. I believe the church should be more aware of these things.
TWLOHA
Ida,
We are sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. While prayers can help us in certain ways, they may not be enough to help you through your mental illnesses. And that’s okay. It’s more than okay. You are deserving of help from professionals. And you are worthy of support from those around you.
We list local resources here: twloha.com/find-help
You can also email us and our team at [email protected]. We would be honored to learn more about your story and offer you some encouragement. You are not alone in any of this, Ida.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Gary h kleiner
I’m in tears reading this. I too have been their. Nearly died, my brain was broken, I was married with two kids, I tried to kill myself, I called 911 to get help, I was almost gone. I too would have missed those experiences with my kids. I hated that I did this. I am mentally ill. It’s the truth, I love my kids, my ex bailed on me, god was their holding my hand, you’ll be alright, but I have plans for you. Rest and I’ll show you. Soon I was recovering, I started to draw in the hospital, this would be the gift I received that fall day.
Gh kleiner artist
Becky
We’re so glad you’re here, Gary. Thank you for sharing part of your story with us.
Gh Kleiner
I want to share my story of how my like was saved for the purpose of using my art to help others.
I’ve rediscovered my artistic abilities while being hospitalized for several months for depression and anxiety. My mental health has been improved by using drawing daily as a therapeutic tool to help me with my self-esteem. After 10 years of drawing. I’m happy to say that I am on 6 online art sites. I want to spread the good word of creativity , to help others to start drawing and to see what they can accomplish.
My web site is ghkleinertheempahicartist.com.
I want to spread my gift to others so they can be helped.
Sincerely,
Gh Kleiner
Becky
We are SO incredibly proud of you for using your art to find purpose and the strength to recover! Thank you for sharing this with us. We are grateful.
Juliea peters
Agreed! I am a Christian with mental illness. And my husband who is also my very best friend, the best friend one could ever pray for is a strong Christian. He has modeled for over 13 difficult years The Love of Christ & pouring himself out again & again & again & modeled Ephesians 5:25.
Beth Torres
Hi Pastor. I am a caregiver to my daugther who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is under medication and yet still have this suicidal thoughts. I always prayed and encouraged her through the words but her moods still down. I know it’s not easy for her as it is an illness. Praying and asking God how to help her. Praying that God will provide a phychotheraphy for her. At the moment I can not afford to as my hubby is not working. Do advise me on how will I helpy child. Indeed, even in my sleep I pray.
TWLOHA
Hi Beth,
We are truly glad that your daughter has a parent like you, someone who cares so much about her wellbeing. We list some little to no cost resources on our FIND HELP page here: twloha.com/find-help. We hope that you will also email our team at [email protected] so we can offer you some encouragement and support as well.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Dolucia
Thank you
Becky
I have been mentally ill most of my life. I’m old now and I don’t want to go through another down and up cycle. I’m tired. I’ve raised a family, against the odds, I’ve been married 50 years and I’ve tired: of trying to be happy. I’m tired of being a shadow that people see. I’m tired of going to church where everything is hunky dory. Did I mention I’m tired….
TWLOHA
Hi Becky,
We understand how you are feeling. We are also inspired by your strength. Please know that you do not have to continue feeling this way though. There are people out there who want to help and support you.
Would you email us at [email protected] so our team can offer you some encouragement and support options?
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Joshua Strothers
Hi my name is Joshua I have been struggling with drugs for 15 years and I’m 29 years old. The past few years have been the hardest time of my life. Due to my drug use it has put really bad things in my mind and at times I don’t think these thoughts will go away. I know the Lord is the only reason I’m here but I’m getting really tired. I don’t know how you can help. Probably can’t but I don’t know what to do.
Becky Ebert
Hello Joshua,
We are so sorry to hear about your struggle with addiction. We know that addiction can be extremely difficult, and the road to recovery can seem almost impossible. We want you to know that you deserve help. You deserve to recover and see the better days ahead. Please reach out to us at [email protected]. We would love to talk to you and help you through this difficult time.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Dave
Thank you for sharing. There may be more christians in church that struggle with some form of mental illness than we know.
God’s blessing on you my brother.
A.J. Barnett
I love this post. We need more Christians that are vulnerable and open about their struggles with mental illness. So many Christians condemn and judge without fully understanding the concept of mental illness or God’s grace. In fact, the bible is full of people who struggled with, in today’s standards, would be considered mental illness. Elijah asked God to die, Saul died by suicide, David wrote psalms of great despair and manic praise, Paul wrote about being despaired of life itself. The list goes on and on. Suffering is part of being human. Keep writing, we need more Christians sharing their stories!
"DISPAIRED!!!!"
IM GLAD AT LEAST ALL THOSE YOU KNOW WILL MISS WITH ME SOME WILL AND MANY MANY MANY WONT!!!! MY EXIIS JUST SO DISPAIRED AND FAUGHT 4YESRS AND NOW 57YEARS OLD AND MANY CLOSE 2ME RATHER AND HAVE CAST ME ASIDE DISCARDED AS IF I WAS A PIECE OF TRASH ON THE GROUND BEING BLOWN AWAY BY A GUSTING BREEZE AND 4ME I WISH I HAD WENT ON YEARS BACK AND ENDED MY EXISTENCE INSTEAD OF HAVING CONTINUED 2STAY IN LIFE AND SUFFER MORE AND NOT BE UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED AND APPRRCIATED AFTER ALL I HAVE SACRAFICED 4OTHERS!!!!
TWLOHA
Hi,
We are so sorry to hear that you feel this way. We can’t speak for others, but please know they we would feel your absence. And we truly are glad you’re here.
Would you email our team at [email protected] so we can learn more about you and offer some encouragement? It would be an honor.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Marjorie
I’m a living proof of that too!
Christine
Hi thank you so much for sharing tonight I felt like giving up on god praying I had anxiety as a child
Through the last 10 years God has taken me through dark valleys my mothers. Cancer my cancer within 6 months of mums death my father needling care with alzimerers then my husbands heart by pass that went wrong nearly died the continuing care for him he is a beautiful husband
Now for the last 4 years my granddaughter with serious complicated illness we have nearly lost her several times and trying to stay calm when my daughter is so upset every day feels like a living hell ……I’ve taken small amounts of diazepam to keep me going but its all taken its toll .. I agree I gave up on sharing with Christians at one point was Told by a minister I was angry needed a phychiatrist my body after chemo radium dose not respond to any other antidepressants the mood swings I just cry out to god for his help every day I want to believe god will heal my granddaughter but I don’t know I pray I study the word every day put on worship music I don’t have deep joy but by his grace repeatedly confess confess I know these other Christians not all don’t know my life and that’s what helps me to forgive and with gods grace I cry to him to help me to be kind loving back but in the last few weeks I know I’m really struggling now my brain just aches for peace mental health team can’t help me anymore bless them they have done their best not their fault my body doesn’t respond I don’t want to be bitter I want to love and be kind but after some bad experiences I don’t feel I can open up again I’m still joined to a online bible study and listen to devotions every day my lord shows me glimpses of his love which gives me hope but I find myself doubting my salvation at times due to the depressive thinking feelings I am so grateful for your blog and believe if we could be honest in our suffering we could be helped your blog has helped me believe there’s hope for me don’t know how not being able to take antidepressants but I so. Need to have hope right now god bless you I try to stand on gods promise that nothing will separate me from his love thank you for listening its helped just to be truthful
Beth
I was diagnosed as bipolar over 30 years ago. Mostly started as deep, deep depression. Once I began lithium my life became very manageable. I raised a family. Worked full time with a loving husband and a family that surrounded me with love and support. Slowly my support system fell apart. I lost two close grandmas and my in-laws in one year. Then I lost my husband in a work accident where we both worked. I road In the ambulance while they worked on his lifeless body. The years that followed were a disaster. I was taken off lithium and tried several other drugs, none effective. After 17 years losing my husband and two terrible choices for husbands I had lost three new pickups and on my third mortgage, on a place that had been paid after losing randy. Obviously trusted the wrong people. I had no job, no car and lived only on ss disability. It was quickly becoming apparent that I could no longer pay the bills on my 13 acre farm and huge farm house. My adult children had completely disowned me when I made the decision to sell. It was a 4 generation family farm, but no one could buy it. After my ambulance ride to the ccu I saw no one from my family for 5 days. There was this one guy who would show up now and then but otherwise no one. The past year has been so full of changes I have no idea which way is up and think I’ve aged about 10 years. Really struggling.
TWLOHA
Beth,
We recognize the challenges, hurdles, and hard decisions you’ve faced, and we hope you know we are rooting for you to find and know peace. We also hope you know that you are deserving of healing and being met with support as you move through your journey. If you would like to reach out by emailing us at [email protected], we would be honored to provide you with resources and encouragement. Hope and help are real and you are worthy of both.
TWLOHA
Meghan
Wow. What a powerful article. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending love and God Bless
Katie P.
Thank you! I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for decades, and added addiction to that a few years ago. I wasn’t sure I wanted to kill myself but I didn’t want to live either. As one who’s loved Jesus since high school I felt I had let Him down. Mental illness is no respecter of faith, that’s for sure. I too take medication so I can live my best life.
MaryGrace
Do you know of a blog of fellow suffers of depression?
I’m a retired RN and have suffered with depression most of my life. I’ve been suicidal until Jesus literally told me He did not want me to ‘do that’. I’ve been on medication since 1995. I’ve been blessed beyond measure with all but a Soul Mate and enjoy a closer relationship with God than I ever have. YET…. I know there are many other Christians who have suffered and continue to suffer with depression, yet find ways to overcome the onslaught of negative feelings. I am wondering if there is a blog or something ‘live’ that I can patriciate in. I have friends that allow me to ‘talk things out’, but it’s not the same; they say the right things and pray for me and love me, but somehow it just isn’t helping. Can you lend me some guidance?
TWLOHA
Hi Mary,
Would you email our team at [email protected] so we can learn more about your story, offer some encouragement, and connect you to resources.
We’re so grateful for your honesty and vulnerability. Thank you for being here.
TWLOHA
Eric A Lindmark
I struggle with depression as well. I had thoughts of suicide years back. I also was an addict of 18 years but clean now for 4 and a half years. BY GODS grace I was saved and now I’m being called full time ministry. I would like to reach out to you more on this. I believe it’s a hot topic
Connie D.
Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope.
Original Thesi
Thanks for sharing your story, I’m recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I’m a Christian. My Pastor often talk about mental health in his sermons and I have yet to talk to him about my mental health. Although reading your testimony is encouraging.
Sue Watson
Thank you.