Learning Together.

By Alyce YoungbloodSeptember 13, 2013

This week, TWLOHA and many other organizations are talking about stigma and the ways in which it hinders discussions of mental health and suicide. Of course, a primary way of challenging harmful stigma is to educate yourself about suicide, what causes it, and how you can help stop it. There are many individuals, organizations, and resources sharing honest stories and statistics rather than reinforcing stereotypes, and it’s important to listen to them. By learning together about mental health, we can be an informed community better equipped to offer both hope and help to others.

One individual from whom we have learned a lot is Dr. Thomas Joiner, a professor of psychology who has devoted much time and thought toward studying suicide. His books, Why People Die By Suicide and Myths About Suicide, present academic and personal insights into the subject, stemming from both his research and the experience of losing his father to suicide in 1990. (Earlier this year, Dr. Joiner’s work was also featured in Newsweek’s stirring cover story on “The Suicide Epidemic,” which is worth taking some time to read.)

For National Suicide Prevention Week, we had the opportunity to get Dr. Joiner’s opinions on some of the present realities of suicide. We hope you’ll get something from his responses below and that it might encourage a deeper, fuller understanding of what it takes to prevent suicide.

TWLOHA: What do you think are the greatest misconceptions people have about suicide or about suicide prevention?

Dr. Thomas Joiner: One is that suicide is selfish. It certainly may seem selfish to those who are left to cope with the aftermath, but that is another matter from the death being motivated in the first place by selfishness. A typical motive, by contrast, is the belief that others will be better off. In my books, I call this state of mind “perceived burdensomeness.”

What are some recent trends and statistics about suicide that people should be aware of?

An important trend is the increase [of suicide deaths] in people in the middle-age years, from around 45 to 60. We do not have a good understanding of why this increase is occurring, but we know that it is. It’s an urgent area for future research. Much the same can be said about the rise in military suicides. My colleagues and I are working hard on the latter problem, and some information on our Military Suicide Research Consortium can be found at www.msrc.fsu.edu.

Much of your personal interest in exploring this subject has been driven by the fact that you lost your own father to suicide. What advice or insight can you offer for other survivors of suicide as to how they can recover from or channel that loss?

I had been focusing on mood disorders and suicidal behavior before my dad’s death, [so] his death did not really change my focus or direction. But it added a tremendous sense of urgency to the work, as well as a personal understanding of suicidal people and of the bereaved.

The loss of a loved one to suicide is intensely painful, and there is no way around that. The pain decreases in its intensity over the years, however, [and] many people find survivor groups or personal grief counseling helpful. Understanding can ease the pain somewhat, and I wrote Why People Die By Suicide with this in mind.

What would you say to people who might have lost someone to suicide or have faced thoughts of suicide and are wrestling with the unknowns of this issue?

It is sometimes true that there are things that are just lost to history, in particular instances, but I do not think it is true that suicide in general must retain some form of unanswerability. We can and should figure it out, through science and advocacy.  Pouring one’s energy into activities like this can be very helpful with the bereavement process. Anyone experiencing suicidal ideation should reach out for help, for example, to a health care professional.

A theme we are discussing during National Suicide Prevention Week is that “You Cannot Be Replaced.” How do you think your theories and research connect with this idea? Why are weeks like this important?

I think it connects well because the message “You Cannot Be Replaced” is an antidote to drivers of suicidal behavior, like the perception that one is a burden on others or is hopelessly alienated … Events like this are a prime example of effective advocacy, and that is one reason they are important.

Want to educate yourself about suicide and mental health issues? Here are a few places to start.


**After launching our World Suicide Prevention Day / National Suicide Prevention Week campaign, we came across the organizations You Can NOT Be Replaced ® . You Can NOT Be Replaced, a charitable organization located in Manasquan, NJ, is the owner of the trademark YOU CAN NOT BE REPLACED ® . You Can NOT Be Replaced ® grew out of a desire to inspire the youth in their area, where there have been several student suicides. You can learn more about You Can NOT Be Replaced ® at www.youcannotbereplaced.com. Emily Dayton, whose family founded You Can NOT Be Replaced ®, shared here how this work has impacted her community for the better.

Comments (3)

  1. Logan Kurkimilis

    Thank you, TWLOHA. I won’t even say for what — there’s just too much you’ve done for me and everyone else here to do that. Thank you. I have been sharing my own experiences and these blogs over the past week on Facebook every day, and it warms my heart to see friends of mine doing the same. Thank you.

  2. Frankie Laursen

    Thank you for this week’s stories and the theme. I was feeling really overwhelmed yesterday and having a lot of suicide ideation. Remembering why I can’t be replaced helped me cope until it passed.

  3. ria

    thanks for sharing it is very nice post.


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