For Lee.

By Jamie TworkowskiAugust 30, 2008

hey guys.

i just sat down to write a quick bulletin, but it seems there’s more to say…

it’s pretty late in florida, a little less late in south dakota, which is where i woke up this morning.  spoke to something wild last night, like 50,000 people, at a festival in sioux falls.  they gave me a few minutes before switchfoot went on… such a privilege to have the opportunity to talk about real things – pain and hope and help and the idea of community – in front of so many folks.   and who would have thought that our biggest crowd ever would happen in south dakota?
i spoke before As I Lay Dying too, and it was cool to meet Nick from AILD – funny to tell him that we were on the same flight to australia earlier this year (but didn’t meet until last night).  the world is occasionally small. 

i had a conversation yesterday with a mother who lost her son to suicide three years ago.  his name was Lee.  Lee loved music and he played the bass and he loved coming to this festival.  his favorite shirts, he would come every year and find them in the tent that we were standing next to.  i had the chance to meet Lee’s sister Emily, and their friend Michelle.  it was just a few minutes but i can’t begin to tell you how moving it was – this family and their courage and kindness, as they shared about lee’s life and the things he loved and how hard it’s been without him, and what life is like these days.  they speak in schools now, talking about the realities of depression and suicide, and the hope and help that exist in the face of those things.

my eyes filled up with tears when this mother said that she will see her son again in heaven.  she said it with a certainty that i will never forget.

the whole thing reminded me that this work we do, these surprising conversations that we get to be part of… it is important and real and a privilege beyond anything i could ever begin to explain.  families like Lee’s, they are the heart of the matter.  not t-shirts or bands or cool or any of that… the heart of the matter is keeping people alive and seeing lives change.  beginning to talk about the things so many people are afraid to, letting those people know they’re not alone.  letting you know that you’re not alone.    

i talked about them, Lee and his family, in front of the big crowd last night and something felt right about that, saying maybe God doesn’t look down and see this giant bunch of people.  maybe God looks down and sees your story and my story. individuals.  our dreams and fears and pains and hopes and all the things that make us unique.  our questions and our favorite songs.  these things matter so much.  and somehow maybe we’re all connected, everyone there in that field last night, more across a world right now.  perhaps we’re all in this thing together, part of a bigger story, one not over yet but still being told.  hope still happening and all of us invited.

good night or good morning.  i hope it’s a great one.  you are certainly loved.

jamie

ps: it’s an unusual thing to talk in front of 50,000 people.  i was pretty nervous about it and i wondered what it would feel like.  the thing i want to say is this: when i look back at yesterday, the thing i will remember most, the highlight, was that conversation with lee’s mom and emily and michelle.  no stage no lights no microphone no backstage passes.  just four people talking for fifteen minutes.  honesty.  questions.  real life. 

i am more and more convinced that the biggest things, the brightest moments, they do not happen on stages.  talk to someone today.

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