Tonight in Yoga

I realized I have been afraid of meditation

my whole life, which is to say,

I have been afraid of myself my whole life,

which is to say, my whole life

I have been afraid of the anti-silence

of my thoughts, which is to say,

I have not been myself my whole life,

which is to say I’m sorry, which is

to say my whole life has been oh, I’m so

sorry, which is to say don’t meditate,

just apologize—don’t worry, just be

worried all the time, every day

for your entire life that you, your heart,

is broken, like an engine,

like a wine glass, it won’t

work right, can’t love right, but tonight

in yoga, I realized for the first time

that breathing is not the process of being filled

and emptied: breathing is the act

of actually making love to the whole world,

which is to say the world is

your lover, which is to say love the whole

world, in all its sweaty folds

and scabbed pockmarks, which is to say

love your dirty corners, your

stalk-like legs and barrel hips, love all

the no and the no and the no

that brought you right here, to this moment

and love the yes. The yes:

the breath that found its way to you, built

a home in your blood cells,

changed itself to better suit you and for it,

tonight, you say: I was made to

breathe and move and give, which is to say

love. Love. I was made to love.

…

Sierra DeMulder is an internationally touring spoken word poet. She is a two-time National Poetry Slam champion, a thrice-published author, and one of the founders of Button Poetry. This past September, DeMulder partnered with poet Tonya Ingram to write a piece for To Write Love on Her Arms in honor of National Suicide Prevention Week. Her most recent book, “Today Means Amen“, is forthcoming this February. Andrews McMeel Publishing has generously agreed to donate $1 per book purchased between now and February 2nd to TWLOHA.

You can preorder Sierra’s book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or from your local independent bookstore.