Although Jared Padalecki just launched his Represent campaign last week, the “Supernatural” actor has already sold more than 24,500 T-shirts and sweatshirts. In this Q&A, we wanted to give Jared a chance to explain why he chose to support TWLOHA and what he wishes he could say to those struggling with thoughts of suicide.
TWLOHA: Why did you choose to support TWLOHA? Can you share how you first heard about us?
JARED: When I first decided to do this T-shirt campaign through the Represent company, I knew that I wanted to work with a charity (or charities) that dealt with the specific issues of mental illness, depression, addiction, and suicidal thoughts. There are a lot of wonderful charities out there that are tackling this issue head-on: Attitudes In Reverse, Wounded Warrior, and, obviously, To Write Love on Her Arms. After a bit of further research and reading, I decided that I wanted the majority of the money to go to TWLOHA (though I do intend to make donations to WW, AIR, and to a fund in the name of my friend, Matt Riley, who died by suicide on New Year’s Eve).
TWLOHA: Where did the inspiration for your “Always Keep Fighting” design come from?
JARED: The actual words on the shirt were a bit more difficult to commit to. We toyed with “never give up,” “never stop fighting,” “keep your head up,” and all sorts of iterations of the same message. I guess what ultimately made me settle on “Always Keep Fighting” was that I felt it was a proactive approach to these issues. “Never give up” or “never stop fighting” seemed (to me, at least) to have a bit of a negative connotation. Maybe it’s the word “never”? Whatever the reason, those slogans seemed to put the individual in a defensive position. I think these issues need to be tackled and dealt with head-on. For those who struggle, these things might not ever fully go away. THAT is why I think it’s important to acknowledge, to yourself, that you are in a fight. And, that’s OK. There are some lucky folks out there who don’t struggle with these issues, and I am truly happy for them. But, for those that do, it’s important to approach each day with the mindset of, “This might not be easy, but I am going to give it everything I’ve got.”
TWLOHA: If you could see anyone in one of your “Always Keep Fighting” shirts, who would it be and why?
JARED: I would love to see EVERYBODY in one of these shirts! Hah. Honestly, while it would be tremendous to see public figures wearing this shirt and sharing this message, I made it for the people out there who might sometimes feel like they are fighting this fight alone. I really went into this with the hope that people who are struggling would connect with it. So, I guess, I’d like to see somebody random wearing this shirt. Someone in an airport. At a restaurant. Walking down the street. I’d love to see them wearing this shirt, and then I’d love to go give them a hug and tell them I admire them and their strength and hopefully get to hear a little bit about them.
TWLOHA: What’s the scariest thing Sam Winchester has had to fight on “Supernatural”? How does that compare with what you have had to fight in your life?
JARED: Funnily enough, I feel like Sam struggles with the issues of depression and self-doubt. He also has, literally, tried to end his own life. In the Season 8 finale, Dean tells Sam that if he goes through with something then Sam will die, and Sam’s response is, “So?” That was a very powerful moment for me. I read it, and it made me cry literal, actual tears. I knew people who had that feeling. I, personally, had had that feeling. I think Sam understands that the most difficult or scariest fights aren’t the physical ones and that the scariest thing you can encounter is your own mind. Luckily for us (and for me, so that I can still have my job!), Sam has been able to persevere and stick around. But NOT without a little help!
TWLOHA: You wrote on your Represent campaign page that you’ve lost several people to suicide. If you could say one thing to someone who is struggling with depression or thoughts of suicide, what would it be?
JARED: I think people who are dealing with severe depression or having suicidal thoughts often believe that the world would be better without them in it and that the people around them would be “relieved.” I wish I could tell them that they are mistaken. It’s extremely painful to lose somebody to suicide. The pain and the questions don’t really ever leave. I still can’t talk or think about my most recent encounter without breaking down. To those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, I would beg them to continue their brave struggle, and I would implore them to seek help.
TWLOHA: Finally, what inspires you to always keep fighting?
JARED: I am a very lucky man. I have many things to motivate and inspire me to keep fighting. My family, my friends, my work. I have been lucky enough to be in a place where I have asked for help and received it. I know that there are so many people out there who don’t have the same luxuries. This T-shirt, this campaign, is for them. My most sincere hope is that this will let people know that there are more people out there fighting similar battles. That they’re not alone. That people care. I hope this inspires people to ask for help. I am helped every day of my life. If somebody tells you that they have never been helped by anybody, then they are either lying or short of memory. We all get help in some way, shape, or form.
I’d also like to say that the fans of “Supernatural” and of Sam Winchester inspire me to keep fighting. I get to meet fans face-to-face several times a year, and they always amaze me and inspire me. They are, by and large, smart and strong, and their stories motivate me to be a better actor and person. I wish I could tell each and every one of them “thank you.” I hope this campaign is a step in that direction.
You can order one of Jared’s “Always Keep Fighting” T-shirts here.
Dani
I’m absolutely flawed by his campaign. When I first heard about it, I just instantly knew I had to buy a t-shirt. It’s such a widespread feeling around the world, and can affect any one of us. I’ve seen it with my friends, my family, and it also breaks my heart to hear complete strangers have self harmed or taken their own life. It really affected me about 8 years ago, when I tried taking my own life, because I didn’t see a way through the emotional pain I felt. But thank goodness I did, because there is so much more to see in life and to do. You’ve just got to keep on. I wish I could thank Jared for setting up the campaign.
Sandy
“Sad” isn’t the word I’d use to describe a 46 year old man throwing his life away to drugs. “Senseless” is more like it. “Stupid”. – Jared Padalecki, speaking about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death.
Lisa
I agree that Jared’s comment about PSH’s passing was insensitive. What I DON’T agree with is implying that he isn’t worthy of having this AKF campaign because of it.
I once had a friend who would use the word “_______” to describe something silly that she or someone else had done. She later went on to become a special education teacher. Do I think she isn’t worthy of being a special education teacher because she used to use that word flippantly? Of course not. She just hadn’t had the life experiences to understand that the word negatively impacted the stigma surrounding people with intellectual disabilities. She’s human and has since learned from her mistake – and now she’s doing a whole lotta good in the special education community.
Jared is also human. Jared also makes mistakes. Just because he once tweeted an insensitive comment about addiction (that he’s since deleted) does not mean that he can’t raise money and awareness for a charity that deals with those issues and other mental illnesses. Look at all the GOOD that has come from his campaign. Look at all the people he’s helped by speaking out about his own struggles with mental illness. To me, it’s pretty clear that Jared’s heart has more compassion in it than malice.
Ceejay
Maybe the negative response to his comment made him think about the issue more deeply. I’ve suffered from both depression and anxiety but never understood addiction. My reflex thought when he posted that message was, ‘my thoughts exactly’. It wasn’t until I came into contact with someone suffering from addiction that I saw that I was being overly judgmental. People learn from mistakes and grow from them. I’d pretty much say that Jared has proven that by launching this campaign.
kelios
Jared is such an amazing person. The Supernatural fandom is lucky to have him. Thank you, Jared, for your desire to help others, and for being such an inspiration to always keep fighting.
Donna
Jared is an amazing person. I’m so proud to be his fan
Leslie
I hope this campaign not only benefits TWLOHA and other organizations that help people with these issues but that it helps bring the dialogue about them out of the shadows and helps destigmatize them. I admire Jared for doing this and his openness in speaking about it. His words are ones that many people can benefit from hearing.
carol
Life’s most persistent and urgent question is “what are you doing for others?” Martin Luther King JR. Kudos! Lending your voice and time goes a long way to all who are struggling through life. Thank you.
bseegirl
The passion and sincerity from Jared is tangible when he talks about these issues. I too hope that more Hollywood elite get on board. If we spread more love, compassion, and understanding, less people will suffer in silence. It’s not just about t-shirts and awareness; we want and need a true movement of our generation. Especially with the incredibly high suicide rate among military in recent years. Had the stigma not been there, the pain and suffering been so shameful, we as a community, a nation, a family of loving humans,and friends and neighbors, would have reached out, asked for help, love,cand acceptance. And, we would have received it in droves.
There is too much suffering. We have to turn the tide together. Love, support, and peace to all who need and seek it.
Heather
Anonymous
I, I’m French, I heard your story… Thank you, thank you so much.
I’m in depression for 8 months… Nobody’s help me, my friends, my parents, my boyfriend are leave me…
I juste wan’t die
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].
Raegan
Please don’t do it. I had a friend In high school commit suicide about 15 years ago she was a year you get then me. (I was a junior) and she did not leave a note about why. To this day her suicide still effects me.
DonnaMarie Comstock
When I first saw this campaign, my initial thought was.. I have to have that shirt cause I love Jared and his work. After reading what the campaign was for, the shirt took on a new meaning. I saw the campaign 2 days before the 2 year anniversary of my cousin’s death to suicide. My mother also struggles with depression. I struggle with overcoming limitations to Cerebral Palsy so for me, this shirt means so much. I bought one for myself, my daughter, and my mom. Thank You Jared! You are an amazing person. Thank you for sharing your story.
JUDY HILL
This comment could not be shared due to the nature of the message.
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].
Anonymous
Thank you for reminding me that I have to fight to get better. That I’m really not alone in this everyday struggle.
shawesum
I’m on the verge of tears reading this. Jared is a wonderful human being with a huge heart and I’m honored to be his fan (as well as fans of Jensen and Misha, obviously, who are also very wonderful). Supernatural fans are lucky to have a see cast as amazing as this. I have had my own meaningful experiences with Jared at conventions and I know how much it means to him to speak to fans.
Briana martin
Jared has such a huge heart and genuinely cares about his fans. Its one of the reasons why we love and respect him soo much. I love that he supports this cause and is working hard to promote a positive view on such a misunderstood disease. From the bottom of our hearts, Thank you Jared!
Anonymous
You are awesome Jared
Celeste
My dearest,Jared.God gave you a heart that cannot be measured, how big it is.God didn’t give you fame in vain.And not only fame, but beauty in all aspects.What you are doing for those who suffer alone is beautiful.The way you worry about them is amazing.You are all brightness and that’s what you’re doing, bringing light to those who are in the darkness.May God bless you! My name is Celeste and I live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and I am proud of you!
Sandy
Celeste, I loved your words! It seems you have a rare and beautiful spirit! I’m glad you’re in our world!
Kady
Bless Jared’s sweet and caring soul. The world is a much better place with him in it.
Cheri Gray
Jared, first of all I truly admire your courage and making a difference, putting it out there to speak up and Keep on fighting! Someone from the fandom Jane Carr Hightower is giving me a shirt, as I cannot afford it. What wonderful people they are, just unbelievably kind THANK YOU Jared for being YOU! I love you very much for the inspiration you have created :-)!
Sue
This is truly how you use your power for good. Rock on, and keep fighting til the end.
Miranda
Love this!
shalini rana
We are lucky to have an actor who really care about others and truly self devoted to a great cause….I wish best for him…..its such an delight to see your favorite actor involved in such cause….amazing person.Bless his soul.
Misty Lawrence
I am so excited to see how this plays out. I own a mentally heathy angancy. I started in 2009 and have over 20 clients I care for. It is a beautiful thing making a different and helping those in need. Hoping for a phone call one day. Thanks with all my heart.
Amanda
I too have fought the darkness of depression. I was lucky enough to have been able get the help I needed. But not a day goes by that I don’t think of my friend that I could not save.
So many are are afraid or unable to get the help they need to overcome their demons. They continue to sink deeper in the depths of depression feeling scared, unwanted, and alone.
I hope that by doing my part and wearing this shirt it may make a difference to someone, even a random stranger before it’s too late. Thank you Jared for doing something to help give hope to those struggling not to be consumed by this terrible darkness… Much love ❤
Meghan
Jared has done so much with the fame that he has gotten and to do this kind of campaign, one that lets the fans ever farther into his life, is just.. beyond words. You are speaking out against something most people try to sweep under the rug and showing the “ugly” side of humanity, but in a way that will (hopefully) encourage others to seek help.
Jen
Thank you so much Jared. I’m crying tears of just pure adoration and comfort. I’ve actually gotten to meet you two years ago . I struggle daily with this and I keep fighting. When I’m down I always wait for that ” Rocky ” moment then I kick Satan’s ass. I work out daily and train hard to stay strong mentally and physically. But…With out God and my husband I would not be here. To see you support this lifts me. We appreciate you! May God ease your pain and bless your journey!!
Susie Eichelberger
Dear Jared,
I am so grateful to you for your support on this issue. I have 4 kids and we live in a small town in Ohio. The number of suicides out here seem disproportionately high. My own son died at his own hands. He was 31. I am raising his daughter. My younger son’s best friend killed himself in our home. Right now my daughter has a best friend. They are like sisters. This young lady is having trouble. She has talked about it and the other day finally told her Mom about the thoughts. I posted on your Facebook page and asked if you could email her or just send her a small message. Believe me I can only imagine how many people ask you for this. But Rachel(my daughter) and I think that a message from you would make her want to fight harder. They are huge Supernatural fans. They love to watch talk about it and watch the Comic-Con videos on YouTube. Listen I know this is a HUGE request and you probably get about 50,000 requests just like this one. All I can say is it would mean the world to a sweet 15 year old girl who has been my daughter’s best friend thru thick and thin. My little girl has had an awful lot to deal with and this girl has been there.I would just like to see her get a little back. Her name is Sophia Lopez. She lives in Marysville,Ohio. PLEASE if you could just take a few minutes it would mean the world to her.To me too. I don’t want to go to another funeral. It would give her hope.
Kim
I am so thankful for what he is doing. He is a amazing person and he has inspired a lot of people. I am blessed every time I am able to read a story or hear of someone being inspired. I can not wait until my shirt gets here and wear it with pride.
Addi Stotts
My whole life I have struggled “fitting in”, and the past 3 years I have been struggling with major depression and a few suicidal attempts. I feel alone, I feel as though there is and never will be anything to live for; people have told me how much of a nuisance I am to them, including my own father. I am needing something, anything, anyone, to assure me that there is something to live for, that I wasn’t a mistake; but with total honesty, more than not, I consistent feel like I am a nuisance because theres no need for me. I just need a hug dammit!
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].
Heather
So I am literally sitting here crying reading this because I see so much of me in some of Jared’s responses. I am currently dealing with that thought of I am a burden on people, they’d be better off without me, and while it’s not where I’m sitting here going “I wanna kill myself” I’m totally at the point where if something happened I don’t see what the big deal would be… I want to be ok but I’m just not. I really hope that someday I can start feeling the upturn and get back to a place where I can be alright again but constantly fighting gets sooooo exhausting… I’m not ready to give up just yet though I guess or I wouldn’t be putting this out there… I really hope that the shirt that I ordered will help remind me I’m not alone cause even when you know that it’s easy to forget when you are at the bottom of your darkest places…
Sandra
I’m bipolar and the last few weeks have been especially difficult. While I’ve not had suicidal thoughts (thank God!), I have had a tough time pulling myself up and out. I happened to catch a snippet of Jared’s story which resonated with me immediately because it made me feel as though I wasn’t alone. I’ve had people ask me what do I have to be depressed about, which is the absolute worst thing you can hear when you’re caught in the grip of depression. Hearing Jared’s story brought tears to my eyes, mostly because it reminded me that what I feel doesn’t reflect my circumstances, but what’s going on inside. I needed a reminder of that, and there it was, from an unlikely source. Thank you, Jared.
Marie Stadler
As a person that suffers from depression as did my late daughter who is no longer here Jared’s message will make a big impact in many people’s lives as it has in mine I know it will be difficult but with support and continue support you will survive and live on you just have to keep trying and remember that you are worth it and you still have a lot to live for and to offer the world so no matter what just keep going
Joan Cruz
I cannot find any thing on the Represent page where I can track my order. I preferred my shirt a couple few weeks ago and still Jane not received it. Would twloha be able to assist me? Thank you in advance.
Claire Biggs
Hi Joan,
Thanks for your message and for supporting Jared’s campaign! The campaign period acts as a “pre-order period” for the shirts. Represent won’t order or ship the shirts until the campaign ends.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Keri Bethard
I suffer from severe depression,anxiety and PTSD. Its hard to get out of bed, to function in the real world. Its hard for me to fight eith my mind to stsy out of traffic. But I do. I am now seeking tge help i desperately need.
shelby
Just wanted to say that this campaign is special to me because I have clinical depression. Jared you’re a very special guy. I love watching super natural it’s a good show.
Jason Miller ([email protected])
Like so many others I have experienced the steady decline of that shining beacon of light that was once my dreams, my will, my hope. The fall from a young man beginning college, surrounded by the love of many friends with an optimistic future to the injured, depressed, self isolated broken thing I am today. Often feeling very much alone and without hope. However reading the thoughts and support of a passionate individual, whom I admire greatly like that of Jared Padalecki does resonate, chipping through my isolation and helps to remind me why I am still fighting. People out there feeling and doing as I am doing, isolating themselves from everyone, we need to let someone in. Read messages and support from those we idolize and read messages and support from others struggling but most importantly tell someone, ANYONE, your message.
Katie Hogan
How can I keep fighting, Mr. Padalecki? You make it sound so easy, when suicide isn’t about people around you, its about fighting yourself until you are too tired to keep going. I’m tired, what can I fight for?
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].
Lea
Knowing that caring people like jared are out there gives me hope. Im proud of him for reaching out to people who are struggling, Its so inspirational and uplifting. God bless him :’)
Meg
To write love on her arms has opened my eyes so much. Depression has taken over my life for the past 3 years, it makes you realize how the real the scares are.. It also makes you realize the scares have a story but they shouldn’t be telling your story , you should. Twloha thank you for all the support <3
My Dear Love
My dear Jared,
We’ve known each other from many Cons and at the Toronto one, you called me “My Dear Love”. I know you have a great memory, so I hope you know who I am.
I have tried my absolute best in every way possible, to raise enough money to buy one of your t-shirts and support this life valuing cause. At this time, it is just not possible and for this, I am so sorry. I’ve counted and re-counted the contents of my piggy bank, taken to a jeweller’s what at the time I thought was my gold bracelet only to find out it was fake gold all along. There’s just no give at this time. And we’re only a few hours out until it closes.
You’re a wonderful person and give so much to people and to share your story has and will continue to help everyone that is feeling not quite sure of themselves or someone they care about.
I never in a million years expected to find myself where I am now and the time leading up to your March 4th post and that day in particular for me, was life saving.
My losses have been filled with grief and extreme sadness.
Losing people you love beyond measure I believe can really break your heart. Then, to be faced with struggling to find enough to pay for some food and then face homelessness for the very first time in your life, is beyond terrifying.
My life as I knew it is gone, everything just got ripped apart.
Your message resonated in ways that I can confirm helped me to still be here.
I cut out your message and carry it with me, literally, I have it taped right inside my top, over my heart.
And when the times happen when I’m feeling more than a little lost or unsteady, I just keep on keeping on and allow the process of your words and message to do their healing.
Thank you dear Jared for being so caring and kind. So many blessings to you. xo
Hannah Bauer
Hey My Dear Love,
I would love to buy you a shirt. Your comment reminded me of my own life and I would love to help you continue fighting. My email is: [email protected]. If you would email me what type of shirt you want, your size, and your address, I will send it to you as soon as I receive it! Love you and praying for you.
Hannah
Hannah Bauer
Hello again.
Since I realized that you most likely won’t see my comment till after the campaign ends, I bought you medium unisex black t-shirt. I hope that that will work for you. Again, email me with your address and I’ll send it to you when I receive it. God bless!
Hannah
My Dear Love
Dear, beautiful Hannah,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your touching gift of Jared’s inspirational t-shirt to me.
I caught my breath when I just saw and read your heartwarming response to my comment.
I can’t believe it and I am so very happy. Truly, thank you for your kindness, prayers and love.
To reach out to me, during such an uncertain time in my life, means the world.
I will always remember this special sharing with an abundance of gratitude.
A million hugs to you.
Debbi 1955
I had a breakdown in November. I had been feeling symptoms of depression since early August, and trying to overcome it myself. It didn’t work – I asked my husband to take me to the hospital when I realized suicide was starting to sound like a solution. I was there for 4 days, and then was in an amazing day treatment program through the entire month of December. Thank heavens for the caring people in the program, and for all the supportive people in my life and in the world. Thanks to them, I’ve learned that a joyous life is possible.
Doreen Corrales
Already got mine. God bless
gabriela
its important that a person like jared support this and motivates ..what all has to do it’s easy..just fight.
I’m a housewife from mexico city and a fan of what jared does.
liz
This is just amazing. I lost my brother to suicide in December of 2013. Things have not been the same and never will be again. What you are doing is amazing!
Sharon
I have one of these shirts, and I ordered a bag during the second campaign. I also bought this shirt for my daughter, and a shirt in the second campaign for my son. I believe in this because I suffer every day. There is never a moment that I don’t have to fight through my depression, anxiety, or other part of my illness. I take this “slogan” very seriously, and understand first hand what it means to have to always keep fighting even when it isn’t easy to do so.
rebecca malinak
Keep fighting! Keep loving! I dealt with depression and anxiety for about 15 years. My family has been with me and loved me through it all! After a teen suicide at a high school here in Phoenix and teachers put “You are loved” on ever single desk, it broke me down in tears. Stay strong!
Kenneth
Do you know of any sources for this T? My high school daughter is a fan of the cause and can’t find one anywhere?
Claire Biggs
Hi Kenneth,
Thanks for your comment!
You can find more information about how TWLOHA started here: https://twloha.com/learn/
If you’re looking for resources, you can find those here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/
Our financial information is here: https://twloha.com/finances/
Some FAQ are here: https://twloha.com/faq/
And you can find information about getting involved here: https://twloha.com/get-involved/
If you’d like to reach out to our team, you can email [email protected], and we’ll answer any questions you might have.
Paula Cruz
Hi
I’d like to by one t-shirt , can you tell how I do that please
Many thanks
Paula
Teresa Self
I wish I could get one of these shirts. I would be proud and honored to wear one ( they’re not available anymore). I have suffered with depression since I was a teenager and have often thought of suicide. I have also felt the world would be a better place without me. But, I’ll ” Always keep fighting”, the best I can. I wish I could say a big heartfelt thanks to Jared. He is a sweet and amazing guy to do something like this.
Jacqueline
Jared is right just KEEP fighting.
Gloria Sanft
Please make more #alwayskeepfighting tees available for those that missed out on getting one.
Your message is inspiring ❤️
Rhonda Jackson
We’ve all been there at our low’s, but never give up an have the of your family and friends who inspire’s u. No matter what think about yourself first then u can be there for your family and friends. Always remember (just one more)..
Melanie Hensley
I know Im late on this but i just have to say I think its wonderful I never knew there was anything like this for depression. at 24 years old I have finally started figuring out that it is a real thing and that help is seriously needed. I went through a lot as a child into my teens but i was “fine” until my 20s but even 6 months ago I was told that I was using it as an exscuse and I actually believed that person/ people that told me that even my own mother since i was 20 but for the past 4 months ive been getting help and finally understand that its not a joke. For so long I thought it was no big deal and if I even thought I had depression I was weak and needed to push it down but now that i know what i do i get that pushing it down is the worst and it will come out one day I dont know what exactly im trying to say … but thank you and i know that he will never even see this i just have to say to Jared thank you so so very much for getting involed because it is because of my love of supernatural and a great sis inlaw that i even found out about this so thank you and everyone envoled <3 <3
Alia Alalawi
Umm, idk who this is actually going to but I honestly hope you feel better, Jared…you have made me feel better when I was down during a brake up and it was really hard on me. I know I’m late on the shirts and all but I’m pretty broke but I really wanted a shirt. But yea…you’ve always been there for your supernatural family and we’re always here for you. “Family don’t always end with blood.” Always keep fighting 🙂
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Jessica
Thank you for this. I have shirts from the second and now third campaign. I haven’t received them yet. But when I do I will wear them with pride.
I am bipolar, have severe depression, and self harming. It is a struggle everyday. Local laws don’t make it easy for someone like me, in my situation, to seek help without repercussions.
I don’t win every battle but I am doing my best to win the war.
Supernatural has been in my life for several years now. In a way I kind of own you guys my life. There are times when the relationship between the brothers has helped me through some of my darkest times.
Thank you.
catherine berry
This s a great campaign. I just recently lost my daughter to suicide. She was 18, 2 weeks out of high school, and brilliant with a while word at her feet. There are no answers to why she choose to take her own life.She battled with depression for quite sometime. Unfortunately the medications and the therapy do not always work. I miss her every day, and keep her close to my heart. Thank you for bringing awareness to this issue. My daughter’s name is Darrien Daily. Thank you for reaching out to those who sometimes have no where to turn to.
Kylie
Wow… This pulls at my heart strings! Jared is a huge role model for me. And this truly touches my heart, because I’ve struggled with depression and self-hatred. He’s so amazing.
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Verenize
I wish I would have known about this a few days ago! I would’ve worn that shirt proudly and promoted it to friends. The struggles of a poor person. 🙁
Zarie Damakala
The greatest power that can heal all sorts of pain in life is GOD as an example the man who is very weary in desert he ask “GODWhy do you forsake me and abandoned me?” And GOD replied and said “I didn’t abandoned and forsake you I carry you you’ve seen only two foot in the sand that is mine guiding and loving you” the main lesson of the story is whatever challenges or struggle you encounter in life don’t lose hope because GOD is always there to guide and love us. Keep the faith”. In every dark cloud there is light to come up next. REMEMBER PAINS-positive attitude in negative situations
Friend
Trust and love GOD and always remember PAINS – positive attitude in negative situations keep going keep believing keep smiling.
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Thankful father
I am very thankful for Jarred’s admidnence to his own battle with depression. This is was what had my daughter come to me about her own depression.
I never understood why she would always wear board shorts at the beach. She always kept to herself. I just thought it was normal teenage behavior. Her favorite line was… Ugh there are people there. I thought it was she was socially awkward.! I was on Facebook when I saw the #alwayskeepfighting article. I knew my daughter loved supernatural, We watch it every week, so I showed it to her. Later that night I found her crying in her room. I went in to talk to her. That’s when she told me about her ________. She had over 80 cuts on her upper thighs. We talked about it all night. She told me about the bullies, the fact she felt useless, and the countless times she wanted to kill herself.
I blamed myself for not noticing it, I didn’t want to be the over prying father. I thought I was giving her space, and probably missed signs I should have noticed.
I was able to get her the help she desperately needed. everyday I see her struggle a little less, I know it’s something she will deal with the rest of her life, but She knows it’s not one she has to go through alone now.
She is my angel, my heart, and I owe Jared everything, you will never know how much you have done for me by just being honest with the world.
Thank you
bailey
this was amazing of you to fjnd and i am soo sorry about your losses due to depression and suicide. I know how hard it can be because i too lost my grandpa to scuicide and he and i were very close. I love the way you are so passionate about helping the people in these states as nobody should go throught the tramatic experience alone and you are helping them a great deal by supporting them so they do not have to be alone and they can not get help and live long and very happy lives. Thabks you so much for supporting the TWLOHA. Keep up the good work jared!
Adriane
I need to know where to send furter questions on this campaign. Ty
kayla
Depression has always been a factor I have had to try and fight everyday of my most adult life. It’s a war inside of your own Mind. A war that gets so deep it truly feels like it’s bruising your soul. Nobody should have to face this or any other mental illness alone. And Jared, I’m so proud of all you have overcome and how you stand strong and continue to face this head on. Thank you!
Kelsey
My name is Kelsey and I suffer from moderate-severe depression but I only talk about it to my best friend. I wish I could talk about it but I feel like I won’t be heard. So while I’m “always keep fighting” you do your part and help a lot of other people!! They need it. Keep this up!!
Irene Law
Every day is a struggle and at times I think of ending it but I read what you said and too many would hurt. I am not young but not old 62 and at times can’t bare it any more.
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].
Nina
I discovered freedom in myself.
They expected a shallow pond.
But what they got is a vast ocean,
With many waves.
lynn
I suffered depression yrs ago never was spoken about it was kept quiet its good to hear about people who have brought it to the front and not ashamed to admit that they are fighting depression didn’t get much support from my family was told not you as well I wasn’t taken serious when I was diagnosed some days it’s hard to go to work then I think about what Jared would do I get ready put on a face and face my day
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Lisa Smith
I have been searching everywhere for this particular shirt. How do I find it so I can buy a couple?
Lisa Smith
I don’t want the moose one, I want one like this!
Kayla
I’m still fighting because of Jared, just before I saw the shirts for the first time I was on the verge, I just wanted it to end. I thought, no one wants me here, I’m already invisible, then I saw the shirts, I begged my mom to order one and I waited for it to come, I was going on a year clean without self harming and then I broke. My shirt came a week later and I was thrilled I wore it for three days straight. Since I broke it getting harder to deal with everything. My self esteem is continuing to drop and I just hope it will get easier once school starts back and I can be with my theatre group again. But right now it’s hard. When I start to get that urge to pick up a blade “Alway’s Keep Fighting” and Jared come to my mind. I’m still here.
Anonymous
Supernatural is one of my favourite TV shows and lately I’ve been really struggling with severe deppression and anxiety, I usually watch so I can forget what’s really happening for a little while and seeing this campaign and this message it made me cry I wish I could personally thank you Jared, for helping so many people fight this.
Brenda Szwarc
Thank You.
I have 3 k7ds. One dealing with severe panic attacks and all that goes with that. Her depression was so severe, she failed due to her inability to go to class.
My Son when is a gentle soul, began _ before age 16. _ scars so big, he was not allowed to because the Force won’t allow “_”. He also wanted to join the military, _ and his vision, nearly blind won’t take him either. Those 2 careers were what he always wanted most. Always. He has spent time in a facility and time in out patient care.
He quit b e cause neither the Dr., counselor, nor the medications helped at all. Now he eats because of his pain. His Intended future wife and best friend broke their plans because her father told her No. He said my son was too damaged.
My youngest, a brilliant girl that turned 16 less than 2 months ago…has _ marks also, depression, unnecessary fury and more.
Though she is graduating this year and spent several weeks in Gambia Africa this past summer, in spite of it all. She earned the money to go. In spite of all she does, she has this illness severely.
They go to a small school yet know of loved friends that survive it and many that can’t or won’t understand it is an illness.
When my firstborn began 9th grade, her best friend _. The following year, my son began 9th grade the following year and learned of such problems – as did my youngest, beginning 5th grade that same year learned about it. Over the next few years, they learned about suicide.. several times. They asked me to order “To Write Love on her arms” awareness orange bands for Easter baskets and again, their Christmas stockings every year. One to wear, others, to give to fellow students and more. I bought dozens.
hey all felt shame. I couldn’t help them through nor could Psychologists abd their staff nor medication.
I got your Moose styled Always Keep Fighting shirt and keep watching for others.
After your great work that makes it all seem as if it’s normal, their shame has lessened.
I’m so greatful to you for this… no, there are no words for feelings this deep.
I do thank you for helping them them know it isn’t just them…or them. It is an important first step. Maybe they won’t always hear and believe the voices of Depression.
Thank you for helping my children. My brothers kids deal with it all too, yet are better off now because of you.
My kids believe you. They have known Sam for nearly a decade.
Yup, “I brought them up right”, with Supernatural. No fears about What goes bump in the night! Even my oldest, a new 21 year old, still is comforted. I thank you!
My deepest respect, bestowed honor and very great love for your help with my kids also,
My Little Brothers family.
Yours eternally, greatfully, and with Strong Respect,
Mrs. Brenda A. Szwarc
(Yes, Polish spelling for Schwartz ;-))
Rachel Streitberger
I did not find this info tell last night for the past year I have been battling depression anxiety and self harm I had some really bad thing happen to me as a child and a teen I’m now 31 and reliving this horrible stuff and having a very hard time doing it. Cutting has been a hard thing not to do. Just seeing there is support out there is great.
Rachel
I love what you are doing jaried right now I’m struggling with anxiety and self harm I have had some very bad things happen to me at a young age and is now coming back up i don’t want to give up on my self for my four year old daughter. But there are days that are almost to hard to get past. Any advise would be amazing.
Andrea
This is a beautiful message. No false promises just truth and hope and love. The Supernatural crew have the biggest hearts. I would love to thank them one day for helping me be strong.
Debbie Gray _ Australia
Dear Jared, I too suffer from suicidal tendencies, self-harm, depression and schizophrenia. If not for the support of those around me I don’t know what I would have done. I have nearly been successful on numerous times but have survived and each time i come back stronger than the time before. I hope to help people in the way you inspire them by continuing your campaign only here in Australia. I feel your slogan is totally appropriate and I wish you and all those like us and their carer and families all the best.
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Rachel Fulcerr
I didn’t get the first launch of the shirts but I was able to get 3, 4 and I recently bought the 5th one. I have yet to receive it in the mail. I recently had the pleasure of going to Chicon 2015. It was so much fun. I basically saw EVERYONE. Except Jared or Jensen. And that made me a little sad because if I were to see Jared I would give him a huge hug and tell him that I have almost all of the shirts, and that was he’s doing is a beautiful movement. It’s an amazing thing for people to have and know that they should “Always Keep Fighting”, because like Jared said. They need to stay.It hurts when people leave due to suicide. And to know people who are dealing with people they know, to wear the shirts also makes the supporters want to keep fighting to help their loved ones to keep fighting as well. I love Jared and I love the shirts. I love his charity and what he’s doing.
Brittney Boaz
My name I Brittney, and I personally just want to say thank you for supporting TWLOHA. I know what is like to stand in a room full of people who love you more than anything and feel so completely alone. I know what is like to stand there and say”what’s the point? I’m just someone here to fill up space.” I know that’s not the way it is but sometimes you can’t help how you feel. Today is the first time ive heard of your campaign and I want to say thank you for the support. Thank you for not seeing us as write offs. Thank you for standing up and helping us to always keep fighting.♡
Shauna Reid
Love this idea with the shirts it’s a great way to not only fund for this but to place importance on people’s lives in general. I’ve tried to kill myself about five years ago with the thinking that everyone else would be better off but I was wrong. I ended up throwing up a lot of the pills I took luckily and got much better mind set from that attempt. Than someone that’s family tried this and it made me so sad and feel like I should be there more for that person. It’s different when it happens with someone else because it makes you realize not only are you not alone but feel how others felt when I tried to do it to myself. I’ve been so lucky to stay alive through the years and was fortunate enough to keep that family member. I hope that more and more people get that help because it’s a terrible feeling to almost lose someone and even harder when you do actually lose someone. Especially for the military that are still in or who are honorably discharged that struggle with this I know it’s even harder for them to talk about there battles please don’t give up on yourself or your friends and family believe me finding out the hard way someone always cares:)
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Payne Winston
I can’t stop reading about Jared’s involvement with your organization, his campaign and others. It’s incredible. I’m wondering, though, if it’s possible to order any of the various shirts offered after the “campaigns”? Do you know how this works?
April giles
Where can i get this shirt i want one?
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colin engle
It’s been about a year since my wife gave me my “always keep fighting T-shirt” (the one with the moose antlers). I was impressed and surprised how many people commented on it and knew exactly what it was. It gives me so much hope for myself, and my situation. It’ll be four years, Easter Saturday that I suffered a traumatic brain injury in a fatal car accident. The occupants of a small pickup that was rear-ended and pushed in front of my car, died at the scene, the girl who hit them walked away without a scratch, and I received concussive amnesia. If not for the air-bags and seat-belt, I too would have died. Even though my physical injuries were minimal, the TBI changed me. Apart from the memory issues that were the most obvious indicators, there was a change in my personality, and lack of inhibition. I found the small thing that I did every day without thinking of them had changed also, (like how you put your shoes and socks on. I.e.: one sock – one shoe. Or both socks and both shoes.). To my doctors and everyone else this was no big deal. However to me I felt like I lost myself somewhere along the way. There was the antidepressant trial and error. Cocktails and concoctions that could make me feel better one minute and the next have uncontrollable anger the next, or just walk around in a fog. Talking to therapists that were not much help because they didn’t know or understand what I needed. I lost my job because if the inhibition issues. Around the same time I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and started chemo. It was hard finding a job with my treatment schedule, not to mention the sight of this man showing up for the interview with his hair falling out, pale and sickly looking. I’m sure they didn’t expect me to survive lifting the pen to fill out the application let alone, do any kind of work. I don’t know how long it was before someone finally gave me a chance to work, but it only lasted two weeks before I burned my foot changing a chemical pump on the job. It was six months and a skin graft later before I could even put a shoe on. Because of that accident I was let go there also. All told with everything in my life being sucked into the cyclone, I worked two weeks in two years. Then if bad wasn’t bad enough, a grease fire burned our house down. It would have been so easy to give up at that point, and I might have, if it hadn’t been for my wife, my two boys, and my granddaughter who just turned three in November.
Every day has the possibility of being great or crap, it seems. Today I was out at the store, not really feeling “puppies, kittens and rainbows” when this guy started talking to me about my shirt. He told me he had three of them, and how his mother had bipolar disorder. After walking away I felt better because I realized that through these shirts our support system keeps growing. I will always be supported by my family, but it is awesome to feel supported by a total stranger.
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Eric
Read my mind. Tough subject brother albeit one needing gentle attent.
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asia
insperatonal
Kathy
How do I get in touch with the support group
Samantha M. Gibson
When people ask me why I like Jared more than Jenson, I tell them to Google the Always Keep Fighting campaign and then they understand. I’ve been struggling with schizophrenic depression since I was 15. It’s a HUGE thing to know that there is someone out in Hollywood that gives a crap about their fans. Supernatural fans are the luckiest fans in an fandom.
Amy Criswell
Ok Jared. I bought a tshirt. I do suffer from depression on and off for my adult life. I just ordered a shirt. I’d like it signed if you would. Plz. People always say you never reply to fans. You could at least jot me a note maybe. _______. They say y’all never take your gifts home or reply or read messages. I hope that’s not true. That would be really sad and make me kinda disappointed to be a new fan of u guys. I am married and have two boys but for some reason I really love your show and seem to really connect with it and I’m debating coming to a comic con. I want to meet u guys in person. Anyway. Thanks!!
Angie S Word
Need help
Claire Biggs
Hi Angie,
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].
Christal
Just wondered how people get help through this??? Bless you.
Claire Biggs
Hi Christal,
You can find resources here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/.
If you don’t see your city listed, you can email us at [email protected].
Bianca Rose
It’s hard for me being a teenager who has Depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and BPD. I’ve often felt very alone but this interview reminded me im not alone and so many other people can relate (although i wish they didnt because nobody should feel like this). I wish he could see this so he’d know how much everything he has had to say helped me (although i will never be as strong as him). i always knew Jared was talented, funny, etc… but i now know he is even more amazing. He is such a wonderful human being and i love all of his answers to these questions.
Rae Byrant
I loved Supernatural the day it came out. The writing, acting, stories, characters have been phenomenal. I have been knocked down my whole and kept getting up, and kept getting up… going on 50 years. The past three years have been absolute purgatory- my oldest (her dad a manipulative sociopathic narcissist) has struggled with heroine and benzos (after her baby’s dad died when she was 8 months pregnant with his son) she finally had a critical car accident that left her crippled and in a wheel chair this year, my youngest just had a baby at sixteen (her dad shot himself and survived by a miracle when she was 2) she suffers from depression went through a cutting stage and is trying to not go to a dark place…. I found my step-dad dead June 9th 2016 he had severe health issues (he was my best friend- we got each other through losing my mom to cancer March 8th 2007). I have fought an OWI charge from March 21, 2015 at 10:15am after leaving his house from staying over drinking watching movies the night before we knew he was dying. I actually just had a hangover and was dehydrated, fainted while driving was unaware of it but asked to go to ER. Registered .o5 alcohol with minimal traces of THC in my blood but because of my history (even though their using 18 to 20 year old charges) I cannot beat it. My defender said If it had been anyone else it would have been dismissed. I refuse to pay $10,500.00 for 2 1/2 years house arrest so I took the straight time – 1 year in jail. I have to file bankruptcy, sell everything I own and will come out at ground zero in a year at age 53. I have been sitting alone, avoiding family, friends, my kids…. the darkest depression I cant seem to pull out of… I am tired of fighting… however I was on YouTube movie searching and came across the HQ NERD Supernatural panels. I watched all of them and I thank you for the laughter. I couldn’t tell you the last time I have laughed that hard and that is where I heard about “Always Keep Fighting” not only was I laughing but also crying. My whole life I have heard from those that don’t suffer from depression think (my drinking was a symptom but not the true cause- my mental state has been my biggest battle) your weak and it is all in your mind. I just want to scream! The other downfall of this dark place is how we isolate which speeds up the downward spiral until we are the only one in our head along with “the committee” of all the negative words ever spoken to us by those that love us and those that hate us for no reason. The saddest thing is my oldest is so much like her dad she has said the most vicious words to me of all. I have been told I don’t look like someone that should be in jail. I am highly intelligent, bachelor’s degree, compassionate, loving, and have been an inspiration of hope to those around me (just not for myself)- but I had to laugh and ask, “There’s a certain look for people who belong in jail?” So today… I am hanging onto the slogan “Always Keep Fighting” because you said I am not alone.
cassie brewer
Is there any place that I can still buy this?
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kayla Hernandez
woah this was amazing really my heart dropped in awe 🙂
Kaitlyn w.
I’ve been dealing with so much been super suicidal and he puts a smile on my face a reason to live and hope
Claire Biggs
Hi Kaitlyn,
We’re so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling suicidal. Please reach out and let someone know how you feel. If you need resources, we list some on our FIND HELP page, including 24/7 crisis helplines: http://twloha.com/find-help
Kaitlyn w.
Thank you so much
Victoria Rogers
I love Jared Padalacki, he made me feel better about fighting all the things I fight with alone better because I’m not alone.. I have two kids and I fight everyday for them and myself if it wasn’t for Jared’s campaign among others I wouldn’t be here today to celebrate my son’s 5th and my daughter’s 2nd thank you so much
Scharese Friebus
Thank you for doing this. I am sharing this with my 17 year old son who is struggling with anxiety and a desire to end the pain of years of bullying which led to self-hate. His hope is to work in the medical field (currently getting his CNA at Tulsa Tech) as a doctor in order to help other. He and I have watched, via catching up on Netflix, the entire Supernatural series…it’s been a great bonding experience besides just flat being really entertained. Thank you for this, Always Keep Fighting, as he really likes you and I hope this will strengthen him if only a bit more knowing you and he (me too) share this fight. Hey, we like you so much, we started watching Gilmore Girls JUST because you were in it. Anyway, from a mom who doesn’t want to live without her son, thanks for reaching out!
Britta Clark
I can not even express how much Jared and this campaign mean to me. He has saved my life. I started a blog that was completely inspired by and dedicated to him and this cause. It’s called sammikeepfighting.blogspot.com I sincerely hope it can help anyone who needs to know that they are not alone.
Com pearce
I struggle daily with so many issues, sometimes the smallest thought Is what gets me out of bed. Other days that small thought keeps me in bed. And on top of that I have illnesses where I am in bed for days at a time. On those days getting my 15 yo up and on the bus, then getting my 6yo up to the bus and back home to bed is all I can do. I hate it. I feel like I’m such a bad mom especially to the 6yo.
TWLOHA
Hi Cin. Thank you for reaching out. We hope you are well. Trying to find the strength to get out of bed feels impossible, but the fact that you have found that strength in the past shows just how capable you are. But, it’s also okay to admit defeat and ask for help. There is help out there. And just being there for your kids is something to take pride in. They appreciate your efforts. They are so happy you are alive and around. Please know that it is okay to get help for yourself though. You can visit our page here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/ OR text TWLOHA to 741-741 via the Crisis Text Line. You will be put in contact with a trained counselor who can aid you. You are worthy of help and hope. Don’t hesitate to seek it out.
Bethany Bakely
Hi Jared, I have been supporting your cause and praying for you as well. I want to donate to your cause. Do you have any contact info for this cause?
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Crystal
ABSOLUTELY AWESOME
Marilyn Stewart
I urge everyone who has depression to have your thyroid tested. A low thyroid can effect every cell in your body and cause you to be depressed.
Carol Matthews
I have ordered most of your tees and hoodies for myself because I believe in your charities. I just ordered some for my daughter and granddaughter who are suffering from depression, suicidal tendencies and attempts, bi-polar with hope that they will continue to “Always Keep Fighting” as I am for them.
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Danielle B
Wow! Honestly speaking as a suicide survivor reading this is touching. Always keep fighting really means a lot and I still keep fighting now because I really do have something to live for. Recently I’m actually starting to really believe that there is so much potential so much beauty so much life inside of me so much love that I refuse to let go to waste. I didnt believe that the night I tried take my life….now I do. Thank you so much for starting this campaign!
peyton beard
I personally tried to take my life after my last breakup. I felt alone, unloved and not EVER good enough. The thoughts and pain were so deep and painful I wanted to be numb, so I tried. Obviously I didnt accomplish it and to this day I still struggle but I am not letting the Demons win!
I take each day as a gift and
get on my knees and pray for strength when i need it. Jared thank you for sharing your story its never easy but its possible. One foot in front of the other, much love.
TWLOHA
Hi Peyton,
We’re so sorry to hear about the pain and heartbreak you’ve struggled with. We know this life has its challenges and hard days. But Peyton, you’re loved and were made to be loved.
We are thankful that you are still here and still fighting. We have so much hope for you and all you’ll do in the future. Remember that it is okay to have hard days, and even on the hardest days there is still hope for healing and recovery.
If you need help or someone to talk to right now, we list resources and help lines here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/.
We believe in you and we are rooting for you.
Nikki
I wish I could talk to you in person so I can get some advice on how to keep fighting with going through everything your campaign has been created for. Loss, suicide thoughts, major depression, loneliness. Only reason I have to live is for my daughter. I don’t want her to go through life without her mom
TWLOHA
Hi Nikki,
We’re so sorry to hear that you’re struggling right now. We know this life has its challenges and hard days. Please remember that you are valuable, your life matters and your story matters. Please stay. If you need help or someone to talk to right now, we list resources and help lines here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/.
Nikki, we hope you remember that even on the hardest days there is still hope. You have so much to live for and your life matters.
If you’d like like to share your story with our team, or have any general questions about TWLOHA, please email us at [email protected]. We’d love to send some encouragement your way.
You’ve got this, Nikki. We’re rooting for you.
Noah Bowser
This shirt, when I first saw it I wanted it immediately! I have personally made several attempts on my life when I was younger, dealing with both physical and emotional abuse from my own mother. I’ve the scars to prove it as well, but by the grace of God I was put into my elder sister’s custody when I was 15. I hurt her so much, since I never knew what positivity and love were and I made her cry. I ended up hurting myself more, and adding more scars. Yet, she still loved me and I loved her and I regarded my sister as my mother and absolute world! Now, fast forwarding it’s been a good 10 years since I have felt those feelings and I enjoy life every day. Seeing this shirt, yea I wanted it but I thought to myself someone actually needs that shirt more than I do. There is a wonderful person that hasn’t found their light yet, so I refrained from purchasing.
I have recently been diagnosed with stage 2 hodgkin’s lymphoma and although I don’t like talking about it, I decided to talk here of all places. I truly loathe telling my family and friends anything when they ask how I feel, I joke with my best friends and tell them I’m in constant pain so nothing can hurt me. I laugh at it and make jokes for their sake, but when I’m alone I am in constant pain. With the chemo, the nausea, the lack of appetite, the losing of 45 lbs, the white blood cell count shot I receive that literally drive my bones to a painful ache, and let’s not forget the hair. I have amazing support from my sister, my other siblings and my friends, my job is understandable since I can’t even hold a 20 oz cup of liquid without my fingers numbing and me dropping it. They’ve said I will become depressed but honestly I’ve been taking this very well, I’m not depressed, hell I’m not even in the least bit sad. What emotion I do feel is anger, anger at this illness. Not necessarily for myself, but knowing my friends wait until I’m gone for them to shed their tears for me. Anger for my sister, who is my pride and joy, to have to tell our other siblings just to have one hang up on her and the other to go sit in her car for half an hour and weep! Anger at how I have to walk away from a family party because I felt as if I was going to throw up all the lovely food they’d prepared and ruin the whole evening. Anger that I can’t do what I love, swimming, hiking, bike riding, exercising, going to trampoline parks, amusement parks, I can’t even ride in a damn plane. I’ve always loathed cancer, it was never fair to the beautiful souls who have it, and I’ve always gave whenever I could to support cancer research, and now I have it. I’ve never considered it unfair, I’ve never looked to the sky and said ‘Why me?’, I’ve never cursed God or anyone for this illness, it’s just one of those unfortunate events that happens and I’m very aware of that.
I guess what I’m saying is I haven’t gone through depression in 10 years, even with the recent cancer diagnosis, but there was this incident 2 weeks ago, a day after my 6th chemo treatment. I painstakingly rolled onto the floor from my bed, crawled to the door, stood up, slowly made my way downstairs into the kitchen, made myself a sandwich, and when I couldn’t hold back anymore, I threw up into the garbage. Now, normally that’s whatever to me, but I live with one of my best friends and her LDS family, her brother who has autism and loves me dearly, and me to him, happened to also be in the kitchen. I held out so long, I didn’t want to make him worry or sad, he’s always so chipper, and when I tried holding a conversation I heaved right into the trash in front of him. He immediately stopped talking, I was crying from both pain and ruining his mood, more though for his feelings. Then to hear him ask me in a dangerously low and anxious voice if I was okay, I looked up, smiled, laughed and told him it was okay. He looked so unconvinced but I insisted I was fine and needed to sleep. As he walked away quietly to the computer room, I ascended the stairs to my room, all the while clutching my stomach and leaning heavily on the wall for support, sat on my bed and let the tears spill. My best friend was at work, my other best friend was out of town, my sister lives in Arizona and I didn’t know what to do. So I sat on my bed, weeping because I was so angry that this cancer decided my actions for me and made people I care about worry and for a little second, maybe even a fraction of a second I thought, ‘What if I were to lay here and slip away, would it be painless?’ But as soon as I thought that I froze, and although I couldn’t see my face, I knew it was in horror. Horror at that selfish thought of mine, not that other people are selfish, but me personally. I have people who love me, who care for me, who would be more devastated for me to be gone, than for me to be in this temporary state of pain. Death has never brought fear to my heart, what I am afraid of is how it’ll effect the people I care for. That’s what my biggest fear is, how my death will destroy them, because after all that’s what I’d feel if someone I would do anything for suddenly disappeared from this world. I would be devastated, it would break my heart, as it already did when a good friend, who also took her own life, was gone from this life.
So I picked myself up, found a notebook and wrote my feelings down. My seething contempt for this unforgiving illness, my sorrow for cherished people, the constant glee I get from living in this world, I wrote all of it down and continue to. I have not told anyone this, maybe because I need to keep this incident and anger to myself so I can always come back to it whenever I need it. Or if I ever have a weak moment again I will give it to my precious people and seek their help, but I will not let this illness get to me, or anyone else. I will continue to be the girl whose favorite color is orange, who loves horror movies, who loves food, taking risks, who loves the Marvel comics and whose favorite Marvel characters are Thor and Loki, the girl who would defend anyone from cruel acts, the one who doesn’t leave quiet people alone because she used to be like that. I’m the girl who sings aloud to songs in the car, who will hike by herself just to hear the wind or rain. The girl who stands up for herself, who doesn’t let irrelevant and ignorant thoughts get to her. The one who has survived horrors brought onto her, and have seen other’s horrors as well and still believes in finding peace and happiness. I am the one who loves myself the most, and cancer can’t take that away from me. I am still me and damn it I will ALWAYS keep fighting!
Now that my little rant is over, even if this message is for another crowd I can’t contain the feelings I get when I see that phrase on that shirt. I don’t have one, and I sincerely want one but even if I never obtain it, seeing someone else wear it, or even on the web I will always get a jolt of strength zapped into me. I am extremely proud of what brings people together and for all those who get up every day and deal with your own personal struggles. They’re all unique, they’re all so incredibly brave, and they’re all loved tremendously. Words can’t describe the strength this shirt gives me and I will be grateful for it, just as I’ve been grateful for my life. Love ya!
Yvonne Percy
Dear Jared, I commend you on taking this to the public to make them aware of the very real issues that affect people. I have a “daughter”, 23 who struggles with these issues every day. I have talked her down once, and it was truly a frightening experience.
Thank you for the fight.
Samantha joe
holooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo also this guy is cool
Sydney Elliott
I’m 13, reading this during school thinking about my life and have a silent cry. I feel sorta sad to say I don’t really know how to fight depression. I stay in bed all day watching shows, mostly spn! I think something that really needs to be understood is that depression never is the answer. You might think nobody cares for you, and nobody will miss you, but you are completely wrong. Suicide is a selfish thing. You end your life, and the pain of your death goes on to others. Depression is a disease. A disease always has a cure. I think everybody should listen to Jared’s message and really think about it. This website has made my week!
TWLOHA
Hi Sydney,
We are so grateful you reached out to us. We do believe that depression lies to us and tells us things that are not true: that we are not loved or wanted or needed; that hope doesn’t exist and we can’t get better. But the truth is that there are people who can and want to help us find healing and recovery and better days. We’re so glad you believe in hope and help!
Please know that you can reach out to us at info@twloha. You can also visit our find help page for resources in your area: twloha.com/find-help. You don’t have to go through this alone.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Debra h McCuistion
I have loved Jarred, in his role as Sam since the beginning of SPN. I suffer from major depressive disorder, and I know it sounds weird to say this, but I felt a sense of connection to my favorite actor in my favorite show.
Debbie Hodous
I have been struggling a few years and sis try to take my life..I woke up in the ICU feeling like a messed up again..I’m still here! I have told 3 people this story and I am getting help I still struggle daily but only feel suicidal occasionally but under control! Life has just taken a hard turn and I have watched your show for 2 months daily! I don’t know why I’m doing this because I have never written to someone I don’t know…but your show and as a loving human have helped keep my mind busy and that’s good! ❤✌🙏
Janie Garcia
Thats a nice shirt
Karan Wright
I’ve fought depression ever since I was a little girl. I lost my daughter to suicide and I’ve been thinking that a lot lately too. I’ve lost my purpose in life and don’t have the strength anymore. I just keep plodding along because I was taught by my parents that suicide is wrong and I don’t have that luxury. My daughter was taught that way also but she lost that fight. I hope I don’t. I really don’t have that much longer to live probably anyway so maybe I’ll make it. I know watching Supernatural has kept my attention so as not to think of my own nightmares. Thank you all and God Bless
Love the shirt and who knows maybe you’ll see me on the streets in Texas wearing it one day. LOL
TWLOHA
Karen,
First, please know how sorry we are to hear that you lost your daughter to suicide. We hope you have found some healing and support. We also want you to know that you are not alone, in your own struggles and in your grief. You are always welcome to email our team at [email protected] when you are in need of encouragement or guidance when it comes to finding and connecting to professional help. Don’t hesitate to reach out, we are here and we want to help you as best we can.
We’re so grateful that you have found relief in watching Supernatural. That community is special and strong and so are you.
With Hope,
TWLOHA
Myra Gibson
I love sam and dean Winchester with all my ❤ i have a crush on them wishbi could meet them in person
Kendra Sanders
I would love to purchase a T shirt
Vicki
Thank you Jared and all those involved in the Always Keep Fighting campaign, it saved my life when I was on that brink of suicide x
Shawna
Love the shirt. Would love to have one. Sometimes it’s just nice to know someone is in your corner!
Tucker
Is this shirt still available? The link takes me to the cameo website.
Thank you
TWLOHA
It is no longer available, Tucker. We’re sorry to say that!
Mary Rabon
Is there any place to buy this shirt and/or sweatshirt ?
TWLOHA
Hi Mary. Unfortunately this item is no longer available!