The words below first appeared on Sophia’s Instagram. We share them here with her permission.
I woke up today, still thinking about Mr. Williams. Thinking about the profound and personal sense of loss that is left in the wake of his absence. For so many of us. And we didn’t even know him personally. We never had the pleasure of shaking his hand, feeling one of his bear hugs, laughing over a meal with this man. This heroic, broken, giving, courageous man. Yet the pang is deep. Shockingly, I’m guessing, for you? It’s the same for me. It seems almost irrational. Yet I have found myself in tears more than once since the news broke yesterday. I have felt wounded. Scared. Strangely, almost morbidly, grateful for my life, and small in the face of how insurmountable it feels at times. This man touched me, so many of us, so deeply I think, because of how much he was willing to share. He was fearless for his art. Nothing was off limits. For a laugh. For a heart wrenching moment of honesty. For a real and true and honest portrayal of what it means to be human. To throw a humorous punch at how silly humanity can be sometimes. His face, when I boil down this feeling, reminded me to LIVE. To push a little harder. To throw myself head first, truly, madly, & deliciously into the things I believe in. And I didn’t even know him. What I know is that he was human. He was broken. He shared those struggles, honestly, with people. And, in that arena, made people feel less alone. What I know is that depression is a foe you cannot turn your back on. What I know is that you are not alone. It’s hard to admit that you are falling apart, especially when everyone thinks you “have it all together.” But please. Be as courageous about your big, bad fears as you are about your passions in those moments of greatness. Tell someone you are breaking. You’ll discover that they are broken too, so they can probably help you pick up some of your pieces and lighten your load. Please. Think about how wounded even strangers feel at the loss of this man’s light. SOMEONE out there feels that way about YOU. I promise. It’s okay to be broken. To be scared. To need help. It’s okay. It’s profoundly human. It happens to the best of us. It’s okay. You matter to people you aren’t even aware of. It’s okay.
Sharon Brewer
Well said!
Ashley crafton
This was a deeply emotional post for me and as equally the tears I cry I try to remember the strength and laughter he has given me. I hope to be as open as he was but to seek the support of others he will be truly missed
Roxanne Luane
Not “It”s going to be okay.”, not “You are going to be okay.”
“It IS okay.” Such power in those little, simple words.
Every time I read them or hear them, I feel another broken piece of me ‘fit’ into its proper place.
It IS okay.
Thank you.
meghan
❤
Leah
Thank you TWLOHA. You have done so much for us “strongest ones”.
Debbie Bishop
Journalists have been deliriously hungry for every bi-line and news bite they can get on Robin Williams over the past few days. Oh what great comedy bits he would have gotten out of this.
Veins of the stories they tell will have truth running through them but many will have fractions of the truth. Families and friends and especially his children will be hurt by these imaginative fairy tales of his life.
Why are people shocked that a man like Robin Williams suffered from depression? Most sarcasm and comedy comes from pain, it is a mask that people wear to conceal the depth of hurt they feel inside. Perhaps, they have suffered trauma or have been bullied or have been made fun of and it is away to deflect their feelings and fit in. Once you get a laugh, you are accepted.
One in four American women will suffer at least at least one episode in their life, one in eight men. Alcohol addiction and drug addiction go hand in hand with depression. For women, depression is usually first and leads them to drugs or alcohol, for men it’s generally the opposite, alcohol first, then depression.
Friday nights around the country, restaurants and bars are filled with people seeking happy hour to ‘blow-off-steam’ from the work week, to relax. But for the depressed person it is often intensified. Some of us are not looking to just ‘chill-out” but to become numb because the pain we carry inside of our heads and hearts is more than we can bear,when the numbness wears off and reality and awareness set back in, we repeat the cycle, that is addiction.
Everyone gets sad now and then. Sad when their sports team doesn’t win the big game, it lasts for a few hours. Sad when your car needs new brakes and you had something more fun in mind and you really can’t afford it, it might last a few days. But depression lingers like an open soul for dsys, weeks, months, years, and without proper help or medication, death is often the end result. Depression has to be treated simultaneously along with addiction if you have both. It is called have referred to as having dual-diagnoses or co-occuring diseases and treating just one doesn’t usually work. Mr. Williams obviously struggled severely as many in our country and around the world do.
b.e. noll
I so loved reading this. I think of Robin Williams, I watch clips, think of others…& I laugh, & cry. He dared you to keep a straight face while watching him go off in comedic directions. You ALWAYS failed. and you loved him for it. We couldn’t help ourselves. I love your line: “His face, when I boil down this feeling, reminded me to LIVE. To push a little harder. To throw myself head first, truly, madly, & deliciously into the things I believe in.” Thanks for the reminder that “Think about how wounded even strangers feel at the loss of this man’s light. SOMEONE out there feels that way about YOU.”
thanks again.
Melyssa
The reality is, there are countless people that take their own lives every single day. Most walk around as an empty shell, suffering from the shadow of depression. These people will forever remain nameless; never receiving the help they need. Depression is draining, relentless and suffocating. You need to know that there is hope; that there is life. Your story matters, you are never alone and you can recover. I think we all have the capacity to get well again. After suffering with addiction and depression I have seen the other side to the pain and the suffering. I have over a year sober and over two years self harm free. You know what the beautiful thing is? The times I thought I was most alone, different and a monster were the times I was truly able to find the strength to begin again.
Donna
I love all these comments..I too! suffered from depression and addiction. Although I had a wonderful family and great friends..I had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and had neuropathy in my lower legs. I could no longer participate in the sports I loved and began to isolate. I felt I had nothing in common with anyone and began my slow descent into a black abyss that only alcohol would relieve. My husband and daughter were ready to leave and my friends no longer called and my family was frustrated. Finally..though the grace of God, my friends had an intervention for me and I was literally “forced” to get the help I need. Today, it has been two and a half years that I have been sober and depression free. My life is not perfect..and my biggest defect is envy..but today..I have the tools that I need to help me deal with life..on life’s terms. I have a wonderful and supportive family and friends..but most of all..I have found the “me” that I had lost. Today..at the wonderful age of 55, I have returned to school to become a pastry chef. I have always loved to bake and this is a dream come true! I have pride in myself and can hold my head up! Everyone has a purpose in life and thru the many endeavors of others..May the lives of all lost souls be found.
Elizabeth
I couldn’t have said it better.
Courtney M.
This was so thoughtfully said. Not only is she remembering a great, great man but she is turning this tragedy into a life lesson for us all to learn. Even if you are not someone who suffers from depression or any mental disease, at some point in life you have felt awful pain. I think everything that Sophia said was right on point. Thank you so much for reminding me that “it’s okay”.
Anonymous
You said it so well. Thank you for bringing awareness instead of hate! #AFSP stay strong and if you can’t then reach out!
Johnc94
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Kim
This comment could not be shared due to the nature of the message.
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
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