If I could change one thing about my job, it would be receiving memorial donations. Each time I open an envelope containing a donation sent in memory of someone, I am always aware that it represents the loss of of an individual’s life. I wish I could return the money and bring back whoever has passed away. But I also know the person sending the donation is grieving the loss of a loved one—possibly their child, their best friend, an uncle, or parent. And in the midst of that heartache and loss, they have turned to TWLOHA. They turn to us to continue fighting, to continue battling the stigma that surrounds mental health. They trust us and believe in us.
Sometimes the loss of that person comes from something unexpected—a car accident or a sickness that came on suddenly—but often, it is related to the issues we speak about: depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. When someone’s death is a result of a mental health issue, I catch myself feeling defeated, feeling guilty for this life that has been lost. I wonder if my team has ever met this individual, if and what they knew about TWLOHA, and if we could’ve done something different at some point. However, I know I don’t carry these burdens alone. When someone loses a loved one to something as difficult as addiction or suicide, we are all left with unanswered questions. We want to know why, struggle with knowing if we said enough, or blame ourselves for not noticing their struggles to begin with.
Moving forward seems impossible—but inside these same donation envelopes, I find a hope and strength I admire. Families and friends are honoring their deceased, sharing their stories with us, letting our team learn about the quirks and characteristics that were unique to their loved one alone. They know the depth of what National Suicide Prevention Week means, the hardest parts of it, the reasons it even exists. Yet, they use their pain to help those still fighting. Knowing it might be too late for their loved one to believe the words, “You cannot be replaced,” they hope and pray others begin to believe it for themselves.
Today—which also happens to be 9/11, a day our nation will always mark and mourn—we remember those we’ve lost. We remember your mother, your father, your little sister, your best friend, your big brother, your child, your favorite aunt, your co-worker. As a team, we want to use this time to specifically remember the lives of all those we have received memorial donations in honor of. We also take this moment to remind you that YOU CANNOT BE REPLACED.
Say it.
“I cannot be replaced.”
Say it five more times. Say it until you believe it.
It is true for me; it is true for you.
With Hope,
Jessica Haley
The names listed below represent the people TWLOHA has received donations in memory of. We ask that you take a moment and read through these names and remember that each name symbolizes a person who will never be replaced. We honor them in our work each day and continue to support their friends and family.
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| Daniel Atsenath | Vincent Keller |
| Ryan Ahrens | Dillon Kelley |
| Keith Aldous | Alexandra Kindya |
| Khaled Al- Hamdani | Shon Lancaster |
| Kirsten Adler | Darryl Lawrie |
| Matthew Allen | Anna Lago |
| Dominic Amodeo | Gail Lewis |
| Stanley Anderson | Cote Laramie |
| Kathleen Archer | Dayton Lauderdale |
| Russell Baldwin | Clayton Law |
| Sarah Billian | Kyle Larson |
| Lynn Birdsey | Jonathan Lemery |
| Chad Brickerson | Michael May |
| Riley B. | Morgan McInnis |
| Alex Bain | Marcie McMann |
| Paul Brisbane | Martin Mercer |
| David Bakchelor | Randy Miller |
| Matthew Bolger | David Murray |
| Kerry Boisson | Shannon McFadden |
| Amber Bible | Tim Mueller |
| Adele Bitler | Savanah Moore |
| Timothy Blackmore | Erin Moore |
| Tracy Brierton | Jared Mann |
| Will Cadogn | Andy Moore |
| Samantha Chapman | Ryan McCarthy |
| Jessica Canazzi | Cheyenne Mason |
| Craig Carroll | Evelyn McDermott |
| Gary Carroll | Annalee Marshall |
| Jeremy Coonradt | William McDermott |
| Lawrence Cunningham | David McKenna |
| Jordan Craig | Akshay Menon |
| Emily “Cristina” Coker | Kyle Meisenheimer |
| Casey Calvert | Jensen Merriam |
| Caitlin Campbell | Peter John Merrick |
| Tim Carrigan | Amanda Morris |
| Joseph Chmielewski | Jacob Myers |
| Emma Duhamel | Tanya Nickol |
| Donna Deckard | Richard Nelson |
| Julia DiGiovanni | Tonya Nicholson |
| Jan Deuser | Lewis O’Driscoll |
| Stephanie Derefinko | Monique Ortiz |
| Sean Davis | Heather Osborne |
| Durinda Deem | Marvin Pierson |
| Damien Descourtieux | Beth Ponte |
| Jackson Dale | Shawn Purkey |
| Erin Dennington | Kyle Priebe |
| Roland Davidson | Ana Marie Percia |
| Tim Downs | Brittany Petrocca |
| Matthew Elvidge | Sarah Plumer |
| Erin Ernst | Cade Poulos |
| Brittany Estes | Lisa Ann Prewitt |
| Eric Eide | Roger Price |
| Courtney Eaker | Andy Richter |
| James Falls | Hunter Roberts |
| Lina Fatton | Katrina Roberts |
| Marianne Fischer | Sharon Reilly |
| Michelle Fortin | Elizabeth Ronneberg |
| Kerry Friesen | Ryan Rader |
| Kate Fritz | Peter Ramo |
| Sarah Fasano | Justin Ripley |
| Daniel Freedman | Elizabeth Rohlwing |
| Sharon Finn | Evan Rosenstock |
| Jason Falardeau | Samantha Baldwin Sewell |
| Corbin Filpansick | Nicholas Smith |
| Robert “Jeff” Fowler | Elizabeth Steingass |
| Justin Fried | Kerelia Summers |
| Ernesto Gardner | Nicole Sutherland |
| Emily Gedert | Seth Schmedeberg |
| Connie Galina | Don Schobert |
| Lou Gaglione | Stefan Scholfield |
| Carly Gannon | Caitlin Smith |
| Jason Green | James Shaw |
| Jennifer Garvey | Zeke Sanders |
| Michael Gannon | Timothy Saubers |
| Barbara Graf | Lydia Sim |
| Hardee Steven Henderson III | Sam Shapiro |
| Emily Holtzmann | Jennifer Schulze |
| Liz Habermann | Teresa Steenburgh |
| Logan Herr | Robert “Rob” Stephenson |
| Byron Hunt | Alan Stuart |
| Iris Hubbard | Charlotte “Charlie” Sweet |
| Nancy Hammond | Joshua Sultzbaugh |
| JoAnn Hamer | Cathy Hill Swirbul |
| Sean Haviland | Stacey Tuchman |
| Joey Hummer | George Thomas |
| Kenneth Higgam | Victoria Thompson |
| Maggie Harny | Billy Truesdale |
| Farid Hussien | Amanda Todd |
| Donna Holiday | Steven Tanner |
| Kevin Hanrahan | Ashley Taylor |
| Ezgi Hamamci | Jacob Tinkoff |
| Faith Hillaker | Britney Tyson |
| Wesley Hoover | Philip Turetsky |
| Jeremy Huffstetler | Kayla Venneman |
| Christopher Lee Hodge | Brian Scott Webb |
| Rebecca Jo Howard | Kevin Lawade Webb |
| Julissa Howe | Erich Winters |
| Wesley Hoover | Edric Walker |
| Isaac Hayden | Ryan Wolsfeld |
| Edison Ibarra | Frankie Wintrol |
| Peter Jackson | Billy Wintrol |
| Peggy Jimenez | Bruce Withers |
| Hilary Johnson | John Taylor Weber |
| John “JJ” Scott Jennings | Steve Watchorn |
| Elizabeth “Betty” Johnson | Stephen Weidler |
| Lauren Johnson | Daryll A. Wilkes |
| Jared Kellner | Dalton Walker |
| Richard Kidder | Chucky Yesalusky |
| Brad Kolman | Christopher Yohe |
| Jean Kain | Matthew Yohe |
| Chris Keane | Lesley Zetko |
| Zackary Kallem | Matthew Zdinak |
**After launching our World Suicide Prevention Day / National Suicide Prevention Week campaign, we came across the organizations You Can NOT Be Replaced ® . You Can NOT Be Replaced, a charitable organization located in Manasquan, NJ, is the owner of the trademark YOU CAN NOT BE REPLACED ® . You Can NOT Be Replaced ® grew out of a desire to inspire the youth in their area, where there have been several student suicides. You can learn more about You Can NOT Be Replaced ® at www.youcannotbereplaced.com. Emily Dayton, whose family founded You Can NOT Be Replaced ®, shared here how this work has impacted her community for the better.
Frankie Laursen
I made a $50 donation on Aug. 18, but I didn’t remember to list who I was donating in honor of.
Albert Poon (my father, who committed suicide last October)
Eric Poon (his brother, who committed suicide in 1991)
I blogged about NSPW here:
http://t.co/WPla503XCk
Thank you for the work that you do. Thank you for still caring instead of desensitizing to the large volume of pain you are witness to.
Shelby
I’m thinking of my friend Robbie today. We lost him last July after an unknown battle with depression. He is missed more than he’ll ever know.
chrissy
2 months ago yesterday I lost a very good friend janine jakob to suicide. It hurts everyday to know shes not here. I too have attempted suicide… I can only hope ill find the strength to go on
Lorraine Edmiston
In reading this blog I remember my friend Rick Foster.A man who touched so many people’s lives.Lost to suicide.He is missed.He cannot be replaced.
Beautiful blog,Jess.
Rebecca sloan
Thank you for having a heart to care. My husband took his life one year ago Aug, and I know all to well the emotions. It’s my mission to fight for others, and share his story. Thanks for not allowing me to bear this pain alone.
Lynn
Thank you for inspiring me to hold on and fight for myself and others who fight…and to remember those who are no longer able to fight! Orange has a whole new impact on me 😉
Daniel Clark
Twenty Four years ago my father committed suicide. Needless to say it impacted the family in many ways and all of us developed addiction issues. Mine took me to attempting twice. I now KNOW I cannot be replaced. Thank you. You guys were at Orion Fest in Detroit and truthfully the guy in the TWLOHA booth gave me a safe haven to go to all weekend and I used it. 4 years clean but know the importance of back up plans. Thanks TWLOHA
Suzella Ahrens
I lost my husband to suicide July 15, 1997. He was only 24 years old. The kindest, smartest and most loving person I have ever met. He made me know real love and left a special mark on everyone’s heart, forever. I miss his hugs. He was my soul mate and lives on forever in my heart. I will always love you baby!!
Michael
One of TWOLOHA’s former interns, Brendan Schaller, penned a post for my blog today in honor of World Suicide Prevention Week. Check it out!
http://hopeandpositivity.blogspot.com/
Nicole Derby-Moore
Remembering him today and everyday. He was a big brother, father figure, Air Force crew Chief, husband, son, step-dad and friend. Your gone but not forgotten brother. You live on in my heart and memories. It has been 21 years too long and though I was just 12 it has impacted my life forever. I am thankful for TWLOHA and other suicide prevention programs that are making a drastic impact through their education and prevention programs. RIP Eddie I love you always and forever.
Chelsea Merkley
As I read his name I knew it was him, our neighbor who was also our home teacher. He played marvelous piano. He seemed like the happiest person I’d ever met. Always so playful and telling jokes, his wife was in our neighborhood and ward too. She was beautiful. She worked in Occupational Therapy. We loved their family so much. I can still remember his smiles and jokes. How he’d play games with our baby son in church- and what a fun time he had with kids and music. He loved the outdoors and was often found hiking and biking with his lovely wife Stephanie Stephenson. They were both amazing pianists and at church once they played a magnificent duet. He will never be replaced, God loves him and his family. I pray their suffering will be eased by the knowledge of God’s love and hope for Rob. He is a good man.
This hit me close to home, when I heard about his passing. I have had a personal experience with suicide. I also have deep depression and anxiety issues. During the time I tried and thought about carrying out suicide I was 15 years old. I didn’t enjoy much in life anymore. My singing and acting didn’t seem to be as fun and they were before. Everything seemed dark and meloncholy. I was lucky, a teacher noticed this in me. I stopped myself from the actual attempt. But, this is real. Struggling with self-worth is real. Finding value in yourself is hard. Finding your identity as a teenager and young adult is exceptionally challenging.
No one can be replaced. They are always loved and honored by their family and friends.
Kimi
2010 was a terrible year.
My 18 year-old cousin, from my Dad’s side, took his own life on March 3rd.
My dad took his own life on July 19th.
My family still hasn’t fully recovered. I don’t think we ever will. The years seem to get tougher as they go by. We are still full of questions that will never be answered.
My sisters and I all have a DON’T PANIC! tattoo. It serves as a memory of our sci-fi loving Dad and as a daily reminder when things get rough.
I just learned about TWLOHA. I am hoping that with your help I can learn how to help my family and other families that are experiencing the same thing.
Please keep on doing what you’re doing. I know that I cannot be replaced.
DrPanda
Reading through this list of names fills my heart with sadness, knowing that each one represents a life gone too soon and survivors who are left with a piece missing in their lives. Even one person is too many, but the number of folks on this list (which represents just a portion of those lost) shows how much more work we still have to do to help others to see their value and worth in this life and to truly know they cannot be replaced. I will be thinking of them all and keeping those missing them close to my heart.
Anonymous
Rip morgan tuck
Bri
I’m so blessed for all this support.
Michelle
I lost my brother Bob 21 months ago to suicide. 6 Months ago I lost my mother. She had many heath problems but after Bobs passing she gave up. The loss of my brother tore my family apart. He knew how much he was loved but I believe he forgot how much he was needed. He had no idea how much he could not be replaced.
Jen
Dan died 12 years ago (9/10/01) and I have finally decided that I need to focus on his birthday, his life, rather than his tragic death. I will always miss him and will still have some hard days, but he would want me to remember the happy times in his life, his smile, his laugh. I know he is up there looking down on us all. Love always.
essu
I had a friend, back in my teenagers days, he save me from madness so many times.. now he is gone, for him I’ll always carry on. Thank you gustav de trevielle. you’ll be always in my heart.
Broken hearted
I’ve now realized that when people leave us suddenly, when they choose to leave this world that they are not abandoning us or leaving us behind but they are choosing to be with us at all times. We are not alone in this world, all of us mourners. We do not walk alone. We do not carry on without them.
Beth
On Sep. 11, two years ago, I lost David King. Friend to everyone. The hardest thing for me is he died at 17. I wonder where he could have gone with college and preparing for his future. I miss him.
Alex Valliere
On August 23, 2001, I lost my best friend, Mark Scott, when he died by suicide in his parents’ home. He was only 17 years old. I was 15. This loss jarred me and sent me reeling for a moment, but it also saved my life. Because of this loss, because I knew that Mark COULD NOT BE REPLACED, I knew I could never allow my family and friends to lose me in the same way. The day I realized that, I made the brave decision to ask my mom for help. She got me help, thanked me for asking her to let me get it, even. I was saved.
Cut to five years later.
On November 23, 2006, my mother, Julia Valliere, died by suicide alone in her apartment on Thanksgiving Day. I found her. Alone and scared, I found her. This amazing woman who had given me life, who had thanked me for asking her to help me save mine, who had been my first friend and my best friend for 20 years, had taken her own life. She had taken herself from me. This had been a long struggle, she had been fighting depression and addiction since before I was ever born. The struggle with both had gotten the best of her and I had fought to save her for four years at that point.
More than the loss of Mark, the loss of my mother was what made me truly understand what it’s like to truly lose someone, to truly have a void in your life and to feel the guilt that comes with losing someone to suicide. You wonder if you could have done more, if things would have been different if you had known to have called the moment they took their life, if they needed a hug that time you just walked away, you have so many questions.
When I saw that the shirts this year said “You Cannot Be Replaced” it hit home. It hurt and it felt liberating. Liberating because I know there are other people out there who understand, who have lost, and who know the meaning behind this simple phrase.
TWLOHA, thank you for always being a positive influence. I have been buying shirts, hoodies, stickers, etc from you since the very first black t-shirt was released. I will continue to do so. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
If you’re feeling alone, please listen to the message that has been spread this year. Every word is true.
Missy C
TJ McNair, 7th grade student, beautiful smile, always happy, I remember you. Riding piggy back around the stage during our schools production of school house rock. I remember i could carry you around like a little baby you were so tiny. you where a wonderful friend with a beautiful soul. Fly High sweet boy
TWLOHA i thank you for the opportunity to share his story and my story alike, to show people that healing is real! and that I am irreplaceable and that I make a difference everyday… my only regret was not being able to hear TJ and his story and why he was hurting.His passing was so sudden…
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Shannon
Clayton Law was my older brother who was 23 when he left us. TWLOHA sent us flowers after our donations in his name were recieved. Then a couple weeks after, a card. We have recieved flowers from TWLOHA for 2 years now as we remember his passing on May 5th, 2013. My family and I can’t say thank you enough! It means so much to us and we couldn’t appreciate TWLOHA remembering him anymore than we already do! Knowing that the donations are put toward such acts of kindness is amazing! Thank you TWLOHA!