Grief comes to us in waves. It is a heartache that many, if not most, experience. It can blossom from the closing of a chapter, the realization that a dream may never come to fruition, or the loss of someone or something—even a belief—that we held dear. The grief itself can materialize inside us as anger, despair, and a yearning for whatever has happened or is happening to reverse and reroute.
Maybe it’s a breakup. The dissolution of a friendship. The ending of one chapter and the start of another. The leaves falling from the treetops and the anticipation of the cold and darkness of winter. No matter what it is, it matters.
And as we ride the waves, we realize, much to our frustration, that grief is rarely a one-and-done affair. Just as we crest a bout of emotion, another is heading toward the shore, ready to be felt by our heads and hearts. While grief may never fully evade our existence, it seems to be a foundational part of being human, it does grow familiar, and in turn, gentler.
We hurt. We feel. We adjust. We emerge. Not without sore spots and an aching heart, but we do survive and we do heal.
You will be okay.
People need other people. You are not weak for wanting or needing support. If you’re seeking professional help, we encourage you to use TWLOHA’s FIND HELP Tool. If you reside outside of the US, please browse our growing International Resources database. You can also text TWLOHA to 741741 to be connected for free, 24/7 to a trained Crisis Text Line counselor. If it’s encouragement or a listening ear that you need, email our team at [email protected].
Rebecca Ebert Coyle
Beautiful
Paul Fibkins
Losing my Daughter Heather in 2021 to depression and suicide has crushed me and all who loved and continue to love her so.
Struggling so – seeking support from those who are left behind and angry and remorseful for not being the one to have been the one to help her stay
TWLOHA
Paul,
First, thank you for sharing. Your grief and heartache deserve to be felt and known, and there isn’t a timeframe in which they need to be felt. It comes in waves. The love you all have for Heather is evident.
We hope you have found support. But please know you can email our team at [email protected] if you’d like some help finding professional care. We’re here.
Holding Hope,
TWLOHA
Donald Richardson
Grief is definitely a by product of a breakup. I am lost myself about a month ago because I let my stress get a hold of me. I suffer from BP1 and schizophrenia. I was getting over stress because I had planned to surprise my girlfriend in December with an engagement ring. My paranoia took ahold of me I was getting suspicious of everything and got too controlling. We had a fight and I almost took my life. I was sent to the hospital. After discharge she said she needed space, but still being stressed because I knew she was my soulmate and I felt like I was losing her, I didn’t respect it. 3 days after discharged I woke up to text saying she had enough and blocked me across the board. I have got no closure and lost my soulmate. I am in IOP 5 days a week since and I still have no relief from losing her. I wish I could show her I am trying to better myself. I would never do group therapy or any of the stuff I am doing to get better. But I just hope she comes back and sees all the effort I am doing. I want to be be better for me, her, for us. Still grieving the loss of her is so hard. My therapist says everything I am doing is correct and is giving help. But I can’t even get in touch with her to say I am sorry. I will continue with my treatment and hope one day she can see the changed me.
TWLOHA
Please keep showing up for yourself and putting the energy you do have into your own healing. We are grateful you have a support system around you that is giving you the space to reflect, heal, and grow. You deserve to know peace and to have clarity, Donald. Thank you for sharing with such vulnerability. We are grateful for your words and that you are here. Grief is definitely evidence of love—love of many kinds and forms.