Although winter is still upon many of us, January marks the start of a new calendar year. And with that opening of a brand new set of 12 months and 365 days, we embrace the metaphorical clean slate with a desire to embrace new habits, goals, and ways of life. For some, alcohol and substance use may be an area where you feel the desire or need for change.
So whether you’re actively in recovery and bringing a string of days, week, months, or years with you into a new year, or you’re in the midst of relapse as you try, valiantly, to heal, or you’re wanting to explore your relationship with these things—we want you to know that we are here to see you through all of it. Without shame, without pressure, without expectation.
If You’re in Recovery
For those actively in recovery, we welcome you to another new year that doesn’t erase or negate your previous efforts. Not in the slightest. Everything you did at any point last year gets to come along. You could be 3 years, 3 months, or 3 days sober, and guess what? Those collections of days and months and years don’t stop being counted even though we’ve entered a separate calendar year. What you’ve done doesn’t end or start anew with this change. It gets to continue. It gets to grow. It gets to blossom and expand and build even more than it already has.
If You’re Facing Relapse
With a new year, we can feel the weight of expectation. The expectation (and the hope) of getting it “right.” But our healing isn’t something to get right. It’s something that doesn’t abide by a timeline or linear step-by-step plan. Healing, sobriety included, can be messy. Even with our best foot forward, there may be multiple “day ones” along the journey. We like to think of it as a spiral that’s expanding outward, rather than a clean, easily digestible, straight line. The journey of healing can involve us coming back to the same place we were before, but each time we return, we are different. We are wiser and more capable.
So, although it may seem as though we are starting from scratch again, we aren’t. We’re showing up with more clarity, more compassion, and more understanding. And all the previous work you put in? It doesn’t just go away. It helps build the foundation. Brick by brick.
If You’re Just Curious
Being curious is often a healthy mindset to have in most areas of life. In this case, you might be questioning your relationship with alcohol and other substances. That’s not a bad thing whatsoever. It also doesn’t have to mean your relationship is innately harmful or unhealthy. This curiosity can simply be just that: curiosity. And with that curiosity, we can be inspired to try something new or to better understand how we function or how we’re affected by something like alcohol.
Perhaps drinking brings out heavy or intense emotions that you no longer feel safe to feel or express in an altered state of being. Or using substances highlights depression and lethargy for you. Or you may be dealing with a chronic autoimmune disease, and a drop or two of alcohol can lead to a flare that you feel for days and days. Whatever your reason for getting curious about sobriety, you deserve to honor that curiosity without judgment or shame or expectations.
By engaging in sober curiosity, you’re not necessarily declaring a battle with addiction or taking an oath to never do or try something again. It can be a gentle introduction to a life without, or a limited, consciously chosen amount of, drinking. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience; nothing in life truly is. You get to navigate it in a way that feels most suitable for you. You get to decipher if you want or need sobriety to be a long-term path. You get to be curious.
If You Want Support
No matter where you are in your journey with sobriety, we need you to know that it is not something you have or need to endure, explore, or navigate alone. While shame and stigma might want us to believe the opposite, that we should keep these things to ourselves, the truth is that there are people—friends, siblings, guardians, peers, and professionals—who can and want to support you along the way.