Five Lies Depression Told Me

By Kelly JensenMarch 28, 2016

Ten years ago, TWLOHA came into existence as a story that invited people to speak and to be heard, to seek help and to help others, and to live this life together. This month we’re looking back on the last decade and sharing some of our favorite blog posts from TWLOHA’s history along the way. Originally published October 22, 2015.

I was not depressed.

I couldn’t be.

I had never self-harmed. I had never ideated on suicide. I had never felt the need to seek professional help for those low days or weeks or months. I wasn’t like the people I saw on TV or in movies or in books who were depressed. People I knew with clinical depression sought treatment when they engaged in destructive activities or couldn’t get out of bed in the morning or function on a day-to-day basis. I did everything with my whole heart—and depression always seemed to me to be like an all-over weight, impossible to live with.

I wasn’t like that.

The first lie depression told me was that I did not have depression.

Because I could get up in the morning, because I could take a shower and do my makeup and my hair, because I could sit down in my office at home and put in a day’s worth of work, because I could follow the routine day in and day out, my depression told me it wasn’t a big deal that I’d spend all my free time sleeping.

Depression lied about it being relaxing, recovering, and restful. Working takes a lot of energy. It wasn’t an avoidance tactic or an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Going through the performance of each day drained me, but it was ignoring depression that really wore me out.

The second lie depression told me was that things were OK if I maintained control.

By obsessively watching my food intake and making sure I ate only the healthiest meals, by ensuring I worked out daily, by spending an hour with a therapy light in the darkest mornings of winter, I would pull through my temporary seasonal blues. If I added in half an hour of yoga or a few minutes of mind relaxation techniques when I felt really bad, I could relax and avoid the unpleasant thoughts.

But being restrictive negatively impacted my physical and mental health. Insisting on controlling every aspect of my life denied me peace and balance, and it made the depression worse — which is exactly what depression wants.

The third lie depression told me was that I wasn’t good enough.

I wasn’t a good enough wife.

I wasn’t a good enough friend.

I wasn’t a good enough daughter/granddaughter/niece/co-worker.

The critical things people said to me or about me, the mean things they wrote — those were the truest parts of who I was. The niceties, the compliments, and the solid, unwavering support of those who always had my back were all instances of temporary kindness. I was and could only be an obligation.

Depression told me people I knew loved and cared about me didn’t. That the things I thought were true and safe were anything but, and I needed to try harder to be better or retreat all together. The crushing insecurity depression wrought upon my thinking led to out-of-character behavior and the need for constant reassurance from those to whom I was closest.

The insecurity also led to building up giant walls and demanding space from others who cared about and sometimes needed me to be there. At times, the insecurity depression gave me meant doing both things in tandem: demanding reassurance while not offering the same back. Or worse, believing those reassurances were just there so that I would offer something back, even though I believed I had nothing worth offering to anyone.

The fourth lie depression told me was that I didn’t suffer from anxiety.

I didn’t have real problems. I had a house. Friends. A job. A family. Real anxiety involved trauma. Real anxiety involved fears outside of the things that I had complete and utter control over (because I could control everything, remember?).

Depression told me the anxieties I had were all made up, even as it fueled the feelings and demanded behavior that exacerbated my anxiety.

The truth is that anxiety fueled the depression that lied to me. Depression thrived off my low-grade anxieties, helping them grow, which in turn made my depression worse. Depression and anxiety weave together, for me, like a strand of DNA. They twist around and around and around, rooted and connected to one another.

The fifth lie depression told me was that it wasn’t “bad enough.”

Depression told me getting out of bed in the morning meant I was functioning. That turning in work on time — sometimes really great work that showcased my sharpest thinking skills — meant I didn’t have miserable, self-flagellating, relentless thoughts circulating through my head. Depression told me sleeping my afternoons away was fine, even restorative, rather than part of a dangerous cycle. Depression told me that near-constant exhaustion came from pushing myself too hard on projects I’d taken on, not from being up half the night because I couldn’t shut off the voices or thoughts. Because I’d already slept eight or ten hours that day. Because I wasn’t eating enough and I was working out too much.

Depression doesn’t present one specific way. It doesn’t feel one specific way. It doesn’t function one specific way. But it will insist that it does, encouraging you with lie after lie after lie to explain away very real signs and symptoms of its existence, which only causes more pain and hurt.

Finally being able to untangle those lies and turn them into the truth of the situation—that I suffered from depression—was like discovering a whole new, different world: a healthier world where I did not have to be my depression, and my depression did not have to be me.

The first truth I told depression was that it existed, but it did not define me.

Kelly Jensen is an associate editor and community manager for Book Riot, as well as a former teen librarian, and a blogger at STACKED. Her writing has been featured in The Horn Book, School Library Journal, The Huffington Post, and VOYA Magazine. She’s the author of It Happens: Contemporary Realistic Fiction for the YA Reader, a pair of essays in the forthcoming The V-Word anthology edited by Amber Keyser (Beyond Words, 2016), and the editor of the forthcoming Feminism for the Real World (Algonquin Young Readers, 2017).

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Comments (99)

  1. Rosanna

    Hi Kelly, thank you for sharing your experience. I really resonated with what you wrote and can relate it to my depression experience. I wanted to ask you, once you realized the truth that you were dealing with depression, what specifically did you do to become healthier? Can you expand on what you did to not let depression take a hold of you and define you? I’m curious to see how you came to this place. Thank you!

    Reply  |  
    1. kelly

      Hi Rosanna!

      Kelly here. I went to my doctor and talked. She did a routine exam, as well as looked at potential underlying health issues that can present with depression (things like a bad thyroid!). But it was none of those things: it was depression and anxiety, full stop. I made the choice to take medication and it’s made all of the difference for me. Some people will thrive that way, others will thrive in therapy, still others can find self-healing techniques, but the first step might be talking with a professional, and it can be as straightforward as your regular doctor!

      Reply  |  
  2. KP

    I try to stop in and buy something every time I see you at a rock festival. This is so incredibly spot on. While I fight the struggle with bipolar disorder, I have always been more prone to the depressive side and anxiety is a huge issue. I am so thankful to see an outstanding doctor that I’ve been with for over five years. Thank you for bringing this content to us. Really enjoyed the read.

    Reply  |  
  3. Tonia

    The above is my life. I’m not suicidal and never self harmed, but the above is my life. I rarely sleep because I can’t turn off the thoughts, but I am always tired. It’s exhausting. And I’ve tried about 10 different antidepressants over the years and none of them work. I go on feeling like I do. So here, I am. Just existing, barely, in my monotonous life.

    Reply  |  
  4. Guilene Regnier

    What insight! I have never thought of it as you so eloquently explained it. I have battled depression in all the ways you mentioned untill I found rest in my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. His words of truth have taken the heavy burden from me as He promised in 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Now, I live in freedom. Praise God.

    Reply  |  
  5. J

    Thank you for writing this. That is the hardest part. When you’re told/think how insignificant your problems are compared to everyone elses. Thank you for verbalizing what has been rotating in my mind.

    Reply  |  
  6. Liz

    Well written.. & Truthfully ????

    Reply  |  
  7. Jewelz

    This was truely inspiring and eye opening. Thank you for writing this and giving me the courage to move forward.

    Reply  |  
  8. monica

    *snap snap*

    Reply  |  
  9. Ally

    so much truth. as someone with anxiety and depression this speaks to me. one of the hard things about my depression is that it takes a while for me to realize i’ve “relapsed”. that i’m struggling again. that i can’t get out of bed in the morning, not because i’m exhausted, but because i have no desire to be awake. i tell myself I’m fine i get to work on time and get schoolwork turned in on time. but when i am home, i sleep. right now though. i’m in a good place. i have more good days than bad and when i have a bad day i acknowledge it. when i have a good day i acknowledge it. i’m in that stage in my depression that i refer to as “remission” and to use a quote posted by TWLOHA on Facebook “even on my worst days in recovery, i am worlds away from my best days of my illness.”

    Reply  |  
  10. Kelly

    I struggle with depression mainly at night is this common?

    Reply  |  
    1. Leigh

      Depression is always worse at night, for me. It’s the time where, after my husband and son are asleep, I get a clear mind just long enough to begin worrying or let myself wander into what’s bothering me. This is also the time I would lean on food to comfort me. Before I got help, I would wake me husband up after being up for hours alone and cry repeatedly for attention, if he wouldn’t give me the support I wanted (and to be honest, I never knew what I wanted) I would begin to self-harm during anxiety attacks. One night, when I had reached my peak of an anxiety attack, I called a friend who had previously talked to me about her issues. I had been medicated several times in the past and wasn’t sure I wanted that again. Yet, I knew this wasn’t in my control any longer. I made an appointment and I got help, emotionally and medically. So, to make a short answer long, it was my “normal” to experience depression and anxiety at night because it was always related to feeling alone. I hope this helps. Just know, you’re not alone, ever.

      Reply  |  
    2. kelly

      Nights can be hard, for sure! Sometimes when it’s quietest, when you feel most “alone” because the world’s asleep, the thoughts won’t stop. But you aren’t alone for those experiences at all.

      Reply  |  
  11. Grace

    So true… I have been dealing with depression for 15 years and I lie to myself that I am expert in managing it and controlling it. Admitting a relapse is difficult… Because after 15 years I “shouldn’t” have any relapses, insightful post. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply  |  
  12. Rose

    Nailed it

    Reply  |  
  13. Mary

    Very well written and clearly understood

    Reply  |  
  14. Heather

    I can really identify with your story. I have accepted my depression but my partner and friends don’t understand it and I’m always being told how miserable a person I am, I’m sick of hearing that! I would love nothing more than to ” just be happy”.. it’s like I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy, like if I allowed myself to be happy the other shoe is going to drop.

    Reply  |  
  15. Jen

    You put it into words. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  16. Gabrielle


    Reply  |  
  17. Alyssa G

    Thank you so much, Kelly for writing this. I was spiraling down into another depression without recognizing the symptoms. Reading your article snapped me back to reality and made me write in my own blog again for the first time in four months. So, thank you for helping me realize I need to look out for myself again, and realize that I’m not alone in these feelings. I owe you one.

    Reply  |  
  18. Sherry Haymond

    I wish there were a way to “share” your words – go “viral” – thanks! Sherry

    Reply  |  
  19. Arielle

    Thank you ❤️ for putting your thoughts and feelings into words. It helps

    Reply  |  
  20. Alisa

    This is incredible. Depression is real and telling the truth is the first step about it. Thank you 🙂

    Reply  |  
  21. Hannah♥️

    depression told me just one ____ wouldn’t hurt and I could control it.

    Reply  |  
  22. Brooke

    Thank you, so much, for sharing Kelly. I have to admit that I broke down in tears reading this blog post because I’ve experienced all of these lies and I know how painful they can be.

    Reply  |  
  23. deb

    I discovered recently that I had depression, but for years and years I knew I had anxiety. I haven’t been diagnosed, but I am fully conscious of the fact of my actions that I have it. Sleeping in till noon, knowing things need to be done in the house, but I tell myself I put so much energy for work, I don’t have it to clean or fix the house. Wanting to express myself but not no motivation to draw or the fear of messing up a masterpiece. The only thing that honestly helps me is Jesus Christ. Reading he bible before bed. Something about it lifts that weight that anxiety and depression weighs on me. I’m able to breath for the next day and just trust in that hand that guided me through everything. But I fall back to old habits and get signed in to three struggles of today. Working at a deli making only slightly above minimum wage. Not being enough to support on your own? Wanting to go to school but still trying to find the right career path and not wanting to spend all that money with no guarantee of a job to pay it off? People with artistic skills are seemingly running scarce of job opportunities to be able to support themselves. Computers are becoming the only way of creatinging cartoons than the original way. I’m just blabbering, but am I the only one that feels that way? Fear is depression. Not being good enough . no inner piece.

    Reply  |  
  24. Hannah

    One of the biggest lies that depression told me is that this was who I am. My sweet, happy, loving personality was a complete act, and if anyone cared to look beyond that, they’d see the “real me”, the depressed, chaotic, anxious, stupid, broken, dark me that did everything wrong. It told me that my life was just layers upon layers of masks, with every deeper mask getting darker, and I was terrified of finding out what sort of darkness was at the core.
    One of the biggest lies that depression told me is that the masks protected me and everyone else from who i really am.
    One of the first truths I told depression is that it is a monster that invades my life and presses down on me, and it is nothing but a cruel intruder. It is not who I am.

    Reply  |  
  25. Robert

    Your writing resonates with a fierce passion and detail that I am able to relate to and understand. I struggle with a lot of things most people would consider infantile. Thank you for putting into words what I have beaten myself up trying to get out for months.

    Reply  |  
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  27. Lexi

    Thanks Kelly for writing this. I’ve recently come across this organization and with this being the first piece I read, it really spoke volumes to me. I’ve never been able to fully explain how I felt/feel or why it seemed like I always denied being depressed. It was the thoughts in my mind that tried to convince me that I am not, in fact depressed. I’d always tell myself, “I’m not in that bad of a situation… my hardships are nothing compared to others,” etc. This is the first time I’ve read anything near what I’ve felt and how I thought, so thank you for sharing yourself with all of us.

    Reply  |  
  28. midnightshope

    Thank you for writing this!

    Reply  |  
  29. Carolina

    Thank you for writing this. I don’t have a “diagnosed depression” so, even though I feel identified with all the things you discovered about your own depression, I find it hard to consider that I might be depressed too. I feel like I can’t tell anyone what I’m going through because it might not be that serious. I don’t really know what to do about this. I’m from Argentina, so I apologize for any mistake in my writing. Thank you if you’re reading this.

    Reply  |  
  30. thomas

    Amazing and dead on thank you for sharing this with us depression and anxiety could work its wonders in many different ways! Thanks again

    Reply  |  
  31. Hind

    So real tank you,

    Reply  |  
  32. samantha harvey

    everyone has a past a tell myself on a daily. i try hard to keep the door closed of what likes to creep in and haunt me. the past two days i have gotten up at 6:30 to get my cousin up for school and then i g back to sleep. later in the day i get up and i just dont feel like dong anything i just stay in bed. if i want to go to sleep i have flash backs and staying u im not really doing anything but my mind is thinking constantly about things i’ve forgotten about. but the one thing i keep saying to my self when my aunt asks is are you depressed or is someone bothering you i say no i’m just tired. but reading your blog and others i have this feeling of needing help. heeding someone to help me stay on track because on the out side i smile and laugh and help those around me while fighting with my own demons that taunt me.

    Reply  |  
  33. april vallee

    I can totally relate. when im not depressed I lie to myself and say im ok. I just don’t want to have to face it or deal with it. the depression just seems to big to deal I pretend im ok but so scared of the monster coming back and well I make it through the next time. I spend a lot of time ignoring and in stress and fear. thanks for sharing I feel better knowing im not alone

    Reply  |  
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  36. ThankfulMe

    Thank you so much

    Reply  |  
  37. Victoria

    Thank you so much for your honest writing. For a moment I felt, that I am not alone and someone feels exactly the same like me. Either a doctor, nor friends, nor a partner could ever understand, what we/ I am going through. Thank you so much!!

    Reply  |  
  38. D

    This really resonates with me right now… after 5 years of coping and convincing, I finally have my first doctor’s appointment next week, and I’m still terrified that I’ over reacting or making it up…!

    Reply  |  
  39. Ann o numus

    I am 35 and have been suffering as long as I can remember. I just watched the movie and it resonated so much with me. Am I too old now to reach out? Just asking….but ultimately wanted to say that the movie was powerful and definitely hit a chord with me. Really hope more awareness can be brought to the surface on regards to deoression, addiction and any other form of mental illness as in so many cases they are linked in constant turn over. Thanks for doing what you do. I hrard you.

    Reply  |  
    1. Ann o numus

      Apologies for the typos. :/

      Reply  |  
  40. cristina ohlendorf

    I know all too well, that these 5 lies told by depression are very correct. I didn’t know I was depressed until it led me to do the thing I stand do strongly against which was attempting to take my own life in 2014. God got me through and I am forever grateful. Depression has a goal to ruin life’s, and to end them if out gets to that. I want to thank you for this article people need to understand that everybody can get depressed and they need to seek help if they aren’t sure but just feel ugh. Depression is serious and people don’t need to play with it.

    Reply  |  
  41. Manon

    I just want to say thank you to the team at TWLOHA that puts up these blog posts. They have encouraged me multiple times this last year. I have seen the destruction of depression in my family, I often wonder if I struggle with it myself. but at any rate I just want to say thank you so much, It helps to have my feelings/thoughts validated by seeing that I am not the only one to have them. Please keep doing what your doing. Keep sharing hope, and letting people know it’s ok to talk about their depression and that it’s ok to seek help. You are facilitating healing, and I hope helping remove the stigmas that are associated with mental illness.

    Reply  |  
  42. Ashley

    I just want to thank you for sharing this because it makes me feel less alone. I did not want to believe that I was depressed because I was still going through the day to day stuff without slipping too much, and I was ignoring the crushing desires to stay in bed and no go out anymore and chalking it up to how hard I was working. It was really hard for me to believe that I displayed some of the signs of depression because I felt that I could explain them away. I don’t have the most supportive people in my life to validate this for me, and I felt that I needed that. After dealing with it for years, I finally started treatment a few months ago, and I am feeling a lot healthier and alive.

    Reply  |  
  43. Xavier

    Preach it, miss lady!

    Reply  |  
  44. Kimberly

    Thank you. You are so right. I can still function; I still “look good.” Most people around me wouldn’t even guess my struggle(s). I guess Another lie is that I can’t ask anyone else for help, because they would not understand; they don’t realize that I even have a problem, let alone that I need help. Some times I wish some one would jut sit down and get me through the next few days, next few challenges, and remind me that I am not alone.
    I am learning that while people may have my back, what I really need them to have is my mind, if only for a few hours or days.
    Thank you so much. Your simple, profound reflections are helping me to understand myself better. And that I think is the 1st step forward.

    Reply  |  
  45. Teresa

    This post just gave me light in my dark day that I have been having. This is exactly my situation and I’m happy that in not alone. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  46. yassen

    thank you very much, you’ve just made it clear to me, I thought I was lying to myself by not having depression, it’s one big step I needed to take, and be honest with myself I just can’t get it why all people keep saying that life is great and it worth fighting for all I know is I didn’t want to be in this life I don’t even know why it just no one has ever been there, no one even want to listen and no one is ready to hear me, they can’t understand how it’s like to be alone even if I’m surrounded by people

    Reply  |  
  47. Alex

    Someone has finally put it into words.

    Reply  |  
  48. Nick Stokes

    Great story, it explains different things and misconceptions about this disease. You put it really nicely 🙂

    Reply  |  
  49. Jessica

    Thank you thank you thank you. I feel like I am going crazy and this helps me know that this is a real thing and that I am not alone ❤❤❤

    Reply  |  
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  51. Randy

    Well said. Depression told me the same lies and more. Mark Twain was quoted as saying we read to know we are not alone. Thank you for writing this. RJD

    Reply  |  
  52. Mary

    This post made me realize that I shouldn’t doubt my experiences. That what I have gone/am going through is real. This will forever be one of the best things I have read.

    Reply  |  
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  54. CMun

    I’d like to know how you handle it.

    Reply  |  
  55. Michael

    This is so well written and brings so much truth. The lie that it is no big thing, yet when you finally open your eyes, you see that you have been standing on an iceberg. Thank you for putting your experience with depression out there to teach those who do not understand.

    Reply  |  
  56. Pingback: 5 Lies My Depression Told Me – Coffee and a Stroller

  57. Finally_Not_Alone

    It is nice to read something and be like “that is how I feel” because for once, someone understands what I am feeling. When I come up to my parents and ask them for help with depression and anxiety, they say that I don’t have it or that if I want help I need to get it myself. But then my anxiety kicks in and makes me think “they will hate me if I go and try to get help” or I dont need this help. Everyone acts as if it is so low grade, which it could be, but for me it has become my life. I want help and I wish there was somewhere I could go for it, but I don’t feel safe reaching out to everyone around me. I see pictures of me as a little girl and go who is she. I don’t want to do that anymore. This makes me want to get help even more so from watching this movie. Thank you so much for this.

    Reply  |  
  58. Suzie

    Et le sixième mensonge que la dépression m’a dit c’est que le bonheur n’est pas pour moi. Qu’il n’existe pas. Mais c’est faux, je veux être heureuse.

    Reply  |  
  59. Denise Foulds

    So very true! Especially if you are perceived by all those around you see you as an achiever, sensible and rock solid!

    Reply  |  
  60. Jacquie

    This is amazing. And side note- I know Amanda Nelson, at Book Riot. Keep on keeping on.

    Reply  |  
  61. Annie

    Wow. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  62. Jessica

    If reading this and agreeing to nearly every point is any indication, I think I may have depression. How I’m feeling looks nothing like the depression described in pop culture.
    I have very few of thr classic ‘symptoms’ yet I know something isn’t right and this post just says so much to me.

    Reply  |  
  63. Elizabeth Skillman

    Thank you for sharing this. I have been keeping my pain and suffering to myself for years because I thought that no one really cared. Just these past couple years I have finally opened up about how I felt to my family, they all didn’t understand why or how I could be depressed. Like you said in the first lie depression told me, i didn’t have depression. After finally saying it out loud i started to question if I really had depression or if i just thought I did. Everyday I do get out of bed and go through the day, but nothing I do ever stops the constant emptiness i feel on the inside. I feel like all the friends I make only talk to me because they feel sorry for me, or because they just use me to get things from. I never feel good enough for anybody and Im afraid that I will never know what it feels like to be happy. No matter how hard the darkness tries to consume me I fight because I want to feel happiness, I want my family to not worry about me anymore, I just want to be better. Your post made me truly open my eyes and see that the only way I am going to get better is if I admit that I do have depression and that I am not alone. All those voices that tell me I am not good enough, I am not worth it, I will never be loved, are nothing but lies. I have depression, but I will be okay.. maybe not today or for a while but knowing that I have that someday to hold onto, gives me hope. So I just wanted to thank you and say that your words mean something, they mean everything to me.

    Reply  |  
  64. Rod

    Everything I felt was so perfectly put onto word . thank u for giving me insight to why I am the waybi am. I’ve been obsessing about killing myself since I broke up with my partner of 6 years and the love of my life. I still don’t know if I’m going to live tgtu this ….I’m finding it very very hard to let go and find a reason to keep going. I’m here today so today is all we havecreally

    Reply  |  
    1. Claire Biggs

      Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.

      TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.

      If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].

      Reply  |  
  65. Ylenia

    I came across this blog hoping to find something that could explain how I’ve been feeling for so long. Years ago I was forced by my parents and by my school to undergo intensive psychological care and lost the will to live. Many scars later and attempts, and through the endless battles I’ve had to face just hoping to stay sane, I’ve only become worse. Today has been an especially bad day, but tonight I came across this. Even though I was forced into medical help, I never really understood what I had. And your words helped me and now I’m absolutely bawling my eyes out because for the first time I understand and I can see some kind of light at the end. I want to thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for this post.

    Reply  |  
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  67. Ester S

    This is exactly what depression told me and what I told depression when I realized that it wasn’t me. God delivered me from depression 3 years ago and it’s like a new world. I still battle, because it always tries to find its way back but I’m glad I know now that it’s a fight I can win. Thank you for this!

    Reply  |  
  68. sofia

    Your words felt like a breath of fresh air.
    Lies depression told me:
    I was raised in a christian home, I am christian, I cannot be depressed. Christians do not get depressed, because it is a sin, because we are supposed to have joyful lives.

    Reply  |  
  69. Mark Limke

    Thank you for the thoughtful and insightful article. It spoke to me, as someone close to me is almost to a tee the person you describe. I shared this with her. It made her cry, but helped, I think. I do wonder what the next steps are, if there is a way to make this better for her. You described a first step, what you told depression, but I do wonder what was next. Thanks again, Kelly. I hope you are improving.

    Reply  |  
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  73. Cheryl Bailey

    You opened my eyes to the lies I have been telling myself I have been in denial far too long probably 14 years since my only child my son’s suicide

    Reply  |  
  74. Karen

    So eloquently said!

    Reply  |  
  75. Nicolette

    I am glad I actually read this and thanks for sharing! Good blog

    Reply  |  
  76. Briasha Ramsey

    I’ve been dealing with depression for two years now it has been tough, I cut and cried every night because I was unhappy. Things did get a little better once I started to talk and express myself more but I still get very sad most nights but I do know that things will get better but sometimes I still have a hard time believing that.

    Reply  |  
    1. TWLOHA

      Hello Briasha,

      We are so sorry to hear about how you have been feeling, but we are glad that you are beginning to talk about how you are feeling with others. It may take some time, but we want you to know that things will continue to get better for you as you continue to open up to others. The journey to better days can sometimes have a few road blocks, but we believe you deserve to get to those better days. You deserve the happiness and love that they hold. We know it can be hard to believe that you will get to those better days, but we truly believe that you will. You are a strong person for making it this far in life, and we believe you will continue to be strong. If you ever need someone to talk to about how you are feeling, feel free to email us at [email protected]. We are here for you, and we believe in you.

      With Hope,

      Reply  |  
  77. MQ

    this really relates to my experience. It’s so hard when you know how you feel, but everything around you tells you it not real. That everything is fine. That you don’t deserve to feel that way. That it’s all just a lie you told yourself. I can’t have depression because there’s no reason for me to be depressed. My problems aren’t as big as other people’s, so they dont matter. I still function as a person, so it’t not a big deal. I feel these things regualrily, and I’m sorry you had to feel them too. Thank you for writing this.

    Reply  |  
  78. Richard Miller

    Wow i see myself in there

    Reply  |  
  79. Emma rogers

    hi my name is Emma I am 22 years old and I have Depression really bad I used to self-injure my wrist but soon as I found my boyfriend that I am still with I have thought about it after my and died and then my dad I was thinking of harming myself but I didn’t want to do that

    Reply  |  
    1. TWLOHA

      Hi Emma,

      We really appreciate you having and finding the courage to share this with us. We understand that the urges to self-harm can be hard to manage, but we want you to know that you’re doing just fine. If you ever need or want to share more of your story, please email us at [email protected]. We would be honored to listen and offer you support.

      With Hope,

      Reply  |  
  80. Monica

    Love this message so much! Thank you for sharing it and using words so many people need but can’t come up with themselves.

    Reply  |  
  81. Tina

    You TWLOHA, loving people are all are so brave to bring such sad, heart-felt conditions to the public’s awareness. Because so many have perished because of the lack of acceptance & openness, and being able to get on a road to good, happy, healthy. As I read your stories and ideas, it’s so hard to not drop down into the darkness that depressed souls have inhabited — but to realize the love and hope you made come alive to save/help these souls is so awesome, that it’s worth going there and feeling the force of trust, hope, love, healing bringing someone back up to breathe fresh air, to have the time and opportunity to heal with friends and healers/therapists. I honor you and the total love you extend.
    I had an idea that, if you don’t already, you could add nutritional counselors to your referral lists, or add clinics that include nutritional counselling. I have noticed, for instance, how much more energized and positive/lighthearted I feel after taking a strong vitamin B-complex + vitamin C supplement (should have at least 50-100 mg of each of the major B’s and at least 500 mg of Vit. C. Especially true for me when I was an avid cigarette-smoker because B vitamins are compromised by smoking, and then there goes a lot of good bodily & mind/mood energy that makes a big difference in beating depression/anxiety “over the fence”! And real foods are SO MUCH better for the human bodily function and attitude than processed and/or munchie foods, or most of the “fast” foods.
    Thank you for all you do for us heavy-hearted and/or addicted human beings, for whatever reasons we got that way. God bless your hearts!

    Reply  |  
  82. Sam

    Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  83. Joann Gallagher Temple

    Thank You!

    Reply  |  
  84. Candace Harper

    Depression is a very serious thing and im still trying to overcome it myself

    Reply  |  
  85. Linda Serapilia

    Helpful thoughts. Please keep them coming.

    Reply  |  
  86. Karrie

    I could have written this, as I imagine many others could too. Why is it so easy to believe the lies?

    Reply  |  
  87. Jeanne Lyles

    Hi, I,m going to be 53 in Jan and I just recently stopped ignoring it because I didn’t want to know back then. I feel that way and felt the words, Thank You for being here now for us to read.

    Reply  |  
  88. Angie

    This is so incredibly similar to how I feel. I hadn’t even realized I had anxiety/depression until a few weeks ago. I thought that it had to so bad I could not function. But instead, I can’t focus on eating, I can’t find reasons to get out of my safe bed although I have to go to school. I can’t turn off these thoughts in my head, and thought I was all alone, and Kelly’s story has really helped me see the light through the tunnel.

    Reply  |  
    1. TWLOHA


      We are genuinely sorry that you are dealing with both depression and anxiety. We understand how difficult it is to function and even just exist when those forces are at play. You are not alone in this, in how you’re feeling or how to navigate through it. The fact that Kelly’s story reached you and helped you to feel seen is incredible. Thank you for taking the time to share all of this. And please know that you can email our team at [email protected] if you need a safe space to share or would like some assistance finding a counselor or a professional to talk to.

      We are here.

      With Hope,

      Reply  |  
  89. Leticia

    I believed all of this until now. Thank you so much for this

    Reply  |  
  90. Leticia

    Hi! I just have a quick question. I’m a teenager and all my life I’ve been told by my parents that mental health does not matter, but lately I’ve been experiencing some signs of depression and I can’t help but believe that it’s just a teenage drama thing and I wanted to ask if there was a way I could know if I have depression, preferably without my parents knowing. Thank you!

    Reply  |  
    1. TWLOHA

      Hi Leticia,

      We’re really glad you found the blog and that you took the time to comment about what you’re experiencing. We hope you know that we see you and that your feelings are absolutely valid. Mental health matters. Your mental health matters.

      One of the ways you can explore what you’re experiencing as it relates to possible depression, is by taking a free online screening offered by our friends at Mental Health America:,actions_a.

      Please know that we are here and you can reach out whenever by emailing us at [email protected].

      With Hope,

      Reply  |  
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