This month we’re looking back on 2015 and sharing the most popular blog posts from this year. You can see the top ten blog posts here. Want to help us make 2016 our best year yet? Check out our #into16 campaign here. Originally published on April 20, 2015.
For those who have stayed:
Thank you.
I will be the first to admit that I am not easy to spend time with.
And after seven years of keeping it a secret, I will also be the first one to admit that my anxiety disorder is even more difficult to spend time with.
Living with an anxiety disorder is like experiencing that moment of panic when you miss a step walking down the stairs. Continuously. Every day.
It’s exhausting and frustrating for me, and I imagine it is equally as frustrating for you.
I become irritable at the drop of a hat. I do everything in my power to keep it to myself, but it’s exhausting being hyperaware in every social situation; it’s exhausting ruminating over everything I’ve said or done or will say or will do. I may snap at you. Please know that it isn’t your fault.
I’m controlling. It sucks having incredibly limited control of my mind and the physical manifestations of my anxiety. To compensate, I crave whatever control I can get. Staying on schedule and having a routine is important because it provides me with something that I can count on. I can handle change; it just takes me a bit longer to adjust. Please be OK with this.
I may present as clingy or dependent to some of you, requesting your constant presence while going to the grocery store or the post office. Please know this is because I trust you to help me tackle a task that seems too daunting to do on my own.
I make excessive comments about my insecurities – anyone who knows me knows how often I comment about my hair – in a nonchalant way. This is yet another coping mechanism. I express what I believe other people to be thinking about me in an effort to eliminate the (nonexistent) elephant in the room. Please understand that I am not doing it to seek attention.
I decline invitations. It’s not because I don’t want to spend time with you; I just fear the unknowns of the situation. Please know that 95 percent of the time, I really would like to say yes!
I apologize too often, convinced that even the simplest inconveniences are my fault. Please don’t get annoyed.
I’m indecisive to the extreme. The fear of making the wrong decision means that the odds of ever getting a straightforward answer from me are likely zero. Please, if making me choose, at least limit it to two choices.
I’m severely crippled in the communication department. Despite carefully planning and rehearsing in my head exactly what I want to say, my thoughts generally flutter all over the place. I stutter and say a garble of words that make no sense. I’m often unintentionally absent in conversation because I’m simultaneously working hard to be aware of every detail happening around me. Please be patient with me.
I believe that everyone who puts up with me secretly hates me or finds me annoying. Please don’t take offense.
My “I don’t want to” often is disguising an “I want to, but the situation makes me incredibly uncomfortable, so I don’t think I can.” Please feel free to try and gently push me out of my comfort zone.
I rarely answer phone calls … and I definitely don’t return phone calls. Please accept my “you called?” texts.
I have the tendency to push people away. I often passive aggressively vocalize and push my frustrations with limitations onto those around me who are living a ‘normal’ life. It’s merely an expression of jealousy of the freedom you have. It has nothing to do with you. It is a poor coping mechanism that I unfortunately use to conceal what I consider to be a personal weakness. Please don’t take it personally.
But you…
You hang out with me anyway.
You don’t snap back at me.
You let me sit in “my” spot in the car.
You join me for trips to the grocery store, even when you don’t need anything.
You jokingly roll your eyes as I comment for the 432nd time about how “long” my hair is getting.
You continue to invite me to everything.
You assure me that it wasn’t a big deal.
You still listen to what I have to say.
You eventually tell me to pick a number between 0 and 10. That I can do!
You actually do care about me. Why else would you have stuck around?
You are aiding in my growth and giving me a leg up on my anxiety disorder. By making “you can do it” comments and accompanying me to places, you provide me with the support I need.
You respond back with a multi-text message that could have been explained in a 3-minute phone call.
You have stayed.
Thank you for being a friend,
Erin
Joyce
Erin, “For Those Who Have Stayed” could so easily have been written by my own daughter, who has experienced most of the same emotions about which you have written. She suffers from anxiety disorders and treatment resistant depression. She, too, is an excellent writer and has a wonderful way of expressing her thoughts and feelings. Her feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are so contra-indicated by those of us who know and love her best. Because we KNOW that she IS one of the best. I am sure that those who “have stayed in your life” must feel the same about you.
All the best in your daily struggles. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We have to have faith and hope and realize that daily advances are being made in all fields of mental health disorders. Thank you for sharing your personal struggles with all of us. God bless.
Elisha
This is beautiful. I would never be able to explain myself in a million years, but this does a pretty good job. Thank you for sharing and giving me hope that these things are being discussed.
Jana
I actually cried while reading this article. Almost every paragraph exactly describes my life. I thought of one person in particular as you were describing those in your life who stayed, and I was amazed at how much my friend fits the bill. I, too, really need people who will stay. I’m so glad I have one.
Briana
As someone with anxiety I can say this is very accurate. I shared this with my boyfriend today
Deanna
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! Thank you so much for putting into words the things that go through my head that I can’t seem to write down or explain to my friends!!!!
Ashley
Thank you. This is my main problem and I have been putting a stick in every relationship. I struggled daily for years, with no one actually understanding. It has greatly affected my job as well as personal life as it has gotten worse over the past few years. I feel hopeful already after reading this and look forward to working with twloha.
Tasha
Thank you so much for posting this. It is very well written and it covers so many aspects of living with anxiety. Thank you so much for verifying that I am not the only one that struggles with these same thoughts and feelings that can feel so alienating at times. It gives a sense of comfort knowing you’re not alone in those kinds of thoughts and I hope you can feel that same comfort from this experience. You are so brave for writing this.
Tonya Coday
Your words were perfect. As if they were my own thoughts. I shared this on my page, for my friends and family.
Victoria
Thank you for sharing, I have GAD, too.
Catherine
This is honestly my favorite post on here. Almost brought me to tears.
Caleb
So much of this is so me and so well said… Thanks. It’s always encouraging to read stuff like this and know I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing and for being so honest.
Becky
Erin,
Thank you for putting so eloquently in writing what those of us who deal with anxiety go through. I hope you don’t mind, I am sharing this with my family. Even though they mean well, they do not understand the constant “battles” I have with myself. As others have commented, I got overly emotional while reading this because this IS ME. All of it. It makes me feel a bit better to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. So often I forget that many other people struggle with anxiety. Again, thank you for writing this!!!!
Stephanie
I have yet to have someone stay, may it be my own fault (by pushing them away) or their own. I understand this completely, I want so bad to never have to wake up with the ever prominent dark cloud above me. That day will most likely never come, but I’m glad you found your person.
Alyssa
I know it’s hard not having someone stay. I just wanted to say that you are loved and valuable though. God loves you more than you could ever imagine. He is always with you.
Jennifer
Thank you for sharing. I cried as I read this because it’s me and so many don’t understand my struggle. Even those closest to me and have said they would leave. My biggest fear. Thank you so much!
SJ
Your blog was posted on FB from such an unexpected source, I put myself aside for a moment to ask them if they are OK. This person should never have had to go through this kind of challenge in any range of the spectrums. I’ve been such a mess the last few years but have 4 special people who are unconditional in their love of me. As I seek recovery to find balance, it’s because they inspire me to keep trying when I can’t do it for myself. Mental illness is so hard. Having such extraordinary souls able to still see me through my messy brain noise is something I never take for granted. Even better is that they allow me to be there for them too. Then I go back onto the hamster wheel …
Your beautiful words said what I cannot. THANK YOU ERIN
Samantha
Thank you so much for sharing this Erin. Your story resonates so similarly with me that bar a few lines, the words could be my own. I’m struggling to accept this is my condition, nobody knows, I can barely admit to myself how much this constant torment is hurting. I can’t take medication for it, I’m an addict. I must cope with it. Battling this anxiety sober and drug-free has been my biggest challenge. I’m over 3 years clean. I hoped my anxiety would subside after getting clean but it’s worsened & I realised the anxiety was there a long time before drug problems. This is me, acceptance I crave. Having gratitude & refocusing my thoughts is all I can do. Been turning pain into poetry when able. Right now I’m starting to drown in the anxiety caused by the many things I’ve ‘put-off’ that must be done. My own worst enemy. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say apart from thank you for your touching reflection, I needed to see it. Just acknowledging the existence of this condition within me to another human soul is a step forward.
Jonathan Hamrick
Erin, thank you so much for putting your experience with anxiety out for everyone. Your courage is so admirable, though I know you won’t be comfortable with that praise. I say that because everything else you have shared is a mirror to the darkest shadows of my mind, and all of the things you’ve said in this piece are things I ought to. Maybe, after reading this, I can? Thank you, not only for helping me, but the countless others living in fear of themselves and their shortcomings.
Sym
I feel like I could have written this. Though I am glad I am not the only one who feels and thinks this way, I don’t enjoy the fact that so many people go through what we do every day. Thank you for writing this and for having the courage to share it.
Ereka
This is so me and I too thank anyone and everyone who ever stuck by me. For I know without a doubt it’s not an easy thing to do. I know there’s been many time’s you’ve been disappointed in me but no one could be as disappointment in me as I’ve been with myself. Just know i am truly working on change in myself it’s been a slow process and not as quick to happen as many may like but I am getting there step by step may be baby steps but at least it’s a step in the right direction. In the past couple months I feel I have over come allot of my insecurities and to me that means allot.
patience
Amazing….
Stay strong and focused, you sound like a
A amazing person who at least knows who you are.
Steve
Excellent!
Lisa
Wow! You put into words what I haven’t been able to. I truly wish others understood me. I do know they try. I’ve found it difficult to explain so they can truly understand. Thank you for sharing!
Lonnie
i am still here…. And will remain because I know what this feels like…
Kristen
Thank you. That’s all I really know what to say.
Word for word, every part, how I feel, all the time.
I used the missing the step on the stair feeling just today.
Thank you.
Mackenzie
This. Every day. All day! The anxiety of being around new people or in an unfamiliar setting frequently has me seen as a B@&*# but it’s hard to explain to someone you just met what the problem is. Thanks for sharing! I can only imagine how anxious you must have been writing this post! I know I have erased this comment 3 x already.
mary beth
I really do understand the whole thing
Shira
This is written so perfectly. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. I feel like I need to hand it to all my old friends as a thank you and a warning for my new ones.
Abby
wow. You just summed up my life. And the absolute exhaustion that comes with it.
jolene
suffer from this problem and all the symptoms are so really very true and painful and no one can understand younot even your own family no one will understand unless they go through it for themselves
Joey
Wow.
Toni
I also suffer with anxiety & panic attacks a long with others disorders and it’s hard sometimes just to get up. My daughter does too we have been members of this group for years and have a few shirts , thank you for all you do .
Angela Singlton
Thank you for putting into words what is going on in my head everyday.
Valentine
You wrote exactly how I feel. I don’t feel so alone knowing someone has these same feelings.
What a gift you have given me.
Thank you Erin
john g
I’m with you, PTSD problems etc. I’ve learnt that I’m normal and the rest are mad.
Hope your travels thru life be smooth.
Rich
Thanks Erin. My wife deals with an anxiety disorder and experiences many of the fears you expressed. I thank you because words remind me of what she deals with day in and day out and that what she needs most from me is my love and support. I hope you continue to have friends who love and support you.
Caroline
Firstly, thank you. Thank you for sharing your struggles with all of us, i’m so proud of you! Erin, this is wonderful.
Catherine
Thank you.
Allie
Thank you.
Molewa
This is me! It’s Exhausting In A Way That Sleep Cant Fix. I Want It To Stop
Monica
Thank you for writing this. It sums me up to a tee. Anxiety is a nasty illness I hope to get under control someday.
Megan
Thank you for putting into words what I never have been able to. It describes my life in so many ways and I have always struggled to explain this to people. This line especially hit home
“I believe that everyone who puts up with me secretly hates me or finds me annoying. Please don’t take offense. ”
I remember in college a friend asked me why I never texted him and I had to explain “I dont want to bother you” and him laughing. It wasn’t a cruel laugh just a moment of understanding. After that he started a “never ending conversation” before he went to bed each night hed send me a question or a controversial topic like even if he didn’t believe in it just to MAKE SURE i’d have to reply and never have to restart the conversation and therefor I was less likely to “feel like a bother”. He was the first person in my entire life that instead of trying to “fix” me, found a way to work around my problem and become a great friend. Sadly he did not stay due to many reasons but I know he made a huge impact in my life. The good people won’t expect you to change. They don’t think you’re damaged. They just get you and accept you for who you are.
I wish you the best with finding others who will see past the anxiety and realize with a little more effort they could know a great person.
Molly
I just wanted to say thank you. I found this article about a week ago and have read it just about everyday since. It is one of the most accurate descriptions of how I feel on a daily basis. I have shared this with the people closest to me and it has actually helped a great deal. You were able to describe what I want and need from those around me in ways that I could never have imagined. It was almost as if you were inside my heart and wrote everything I felt. Thanks for helping me not feel alone.
Kim
I keep coming back to this post. I feel like no one has stayed, because I don’t let them. And the people around me are only there because I don’t let them see me for who I really am. And having no one just adds to the exhaustion, compounding into depression, and knowing it’s self inflicted is even worse. This post lets me feel like I am not alone even when I isolate myself and feel nothing but darkness.
Jacqueline
This is perfect. This exactly how I feel, and just never knew how to put it into words. Thank you for doing exactly what I couldn’t.
Alyssa
I can relate to this. It puts into words what I want to say to the people in my life who have stayed, even though I expected them to leave. It inspired me to write a letter to the people in my life who have stayed, mainly two specific people. I’m not sure if I’m ever going to send it to them, but I know even if I did I don’t think words on a page can adequately express my gratitude for saving my life.
Faleash
Hey, i just wrote a blog post about this and I wanted you to see it too.
here it is:
Life gives us plenty of reasons to be worried.
Things rarely go the way we would like it to and it stresses us out. We’re humans. We have the urge to be in control of what happens around us. I had a huge problem with this for most of my life. And it had gone all the way past the point of feeling physically ill when things went wrong. I would analyze every situation that went wrong, thinking “if only I had just..” or whenever anyone got upset I would automatically think I had something to do with the reason they were upset. Or basically any time I screwed up (even with something small) I felt like it was the end of the world and I failed everyone around me. I was just a basketcase. And I know there are a lot of people out there now who are going through everything I went through and are feeling exactly the way I felt. It’s miserable, and I hope that you’ll learn what I learned.
The fact is, I had to realize that things didn’t happen the way I wanted it to because I am not in control. Yes, the choices we make in life mean something, and they do make a difference, but we will never be in control of the things that happen to us or around us on this earth. It’s just the truth. The things that happen, or the things that play out, every situation is bigger than us and anything we could do to change the outcome. There are a ton of different pieces to every situation that we can’t even see. It’s out of our hands.
And that fact alone is what gave me all the relief I needed because in my own life, I knew that because it was out of my hands it had to be in someone else’s. And that someone is God. The one who has been the Father, The Care Giver of all of creation and in Him all things consist or hold together. (1 Colossians 1:17) He alone keeps the breath in our lungs. He keeps the earth spinning. Disagree with me all you want but He alone got me through everything I was going through. And it wasn’t only anxiety he got me out of. It was also depression, anger, lust, a pornography addiction, self hatred, self harm, insecurity, and the list goes on. It’s not just belief, it’s a fact. Through the blood of Jesus Christ he forgave me for my sin. I asked Jesus to come into my life, in all of the places I had tried to take things into my own hands- in the places I tried to make myself happy or fix things and ended up making it worse, in all the places I was lacking something. I had an incredibly significant void, and all my life I tried to fill that void with things that would never measure up. I finally learned that God was the only one who could fill it. There was a void there in the first place because He was the one who created us and I had gone most of my life -claiming i knew him, but not truly knowing him. And it would be a good idea to know the one who created you, because it’s then that you’ll really know the reason you were put on this earth in the first place.
I wanted Him to be the Lord of my life. So I let go and gave Him permission to take over, and it was then that I finally felt stability. I finally felt love. Unlike anything I had ever felt before from anyone. He knew all that I had done. All that had filled my mind, and he knew that I was weak and he taught me through the Bible what he thought of me. I finally knew what it meant to have a father. (Psalm 68:5, google it) And to have someone who truly cares for me and has my best interest at heart.(Romans 8:28. Philippians 4:6-7) He gave us a way out of anxiety and what ever else a person could be struggling with through Jesus the Christ. knowing him, I know that I have nothing to fear and nothing to worry or be anxious about because He is the one in control. (Deuteronomy 31:6. Matthew 6:25-34) he told us to cast all our cares and our burdens on him because he cares for us. (1 peter 5:6-7) Bad things happen, but I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. (-Romans 8:38-39) And that’s all that matters to me.
Look, I know people get upset when God is brought into things because they don’t want to hear about him. But how can you not want to hear about him? How can you miss out on the one who formed you, knew you, set your feet on the ground and kept your heart beating and air in your lungs from day one? He’s the one who, through all the bad situations, wants you to look to him for help because he in reality is the only one who can give it. We have limits. We can’t fix everything on our own. He is the most crucial part to figuring out this life and finding peace in this life because he knows every part of it and he sees every side, while we can only see our side. Even the most skeptical of people would admit that humans have limitations- because it’s very true! And to tell you the truth, I absolutely couldn’t write a post about anxiety and getting over it without telling all that my God showed me so that I could get through it. He is the only answer.
Bible verses i listed plus others:
Colossians 1:17- And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.
Psalm 68:5- A father of the fatherless, and a defender of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.
Romans 8:28- And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Philippians 4:6-7- Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Deuteronomy 31:6- Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Matthew 6:25-34- Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
1 Peter 5:6-7- Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Psalm 27- The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
\ When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident. One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple.
For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”
Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.11 Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.
Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.14 Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Psalm 34:4- I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.
Please do not hesitate to message me if you have any questions. I have been through a lot of things and I have firsthand seen God do his work in my life (and still am every single day).
And realize this: He protects and delivers those who trust in Him and are His. If you deny him and want nothing to do with Jesus, why would he extend help where it isn’t wanted?
I really hope and pray that this will get to someone.
In Christ always.
Sorry
You just described me to a T…to a friggen T..but nobody has stayed everybody leaves eventually, I’m a little overwhelming I can’t help it…everyone in my family has even left me only three have come back..Every time I think I find someone that can handle the real me and I let go and let the real me out they just up and leave..I can never loose composure otherwise I’ll loose the remaining family I have left..So I’ll wear this smile and walk on.
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B.
Excellent, your explanation of life, from your eyes. Thank you, for sharing. ♡
judy nunes
Me……exactly
Kelly
U have taken the words right out of my mouth. So good to know I’m not alone
Elizabeth
As always thanks for sharing ….I suffer from anxiety ..depression.. And am 6yrs sober its all a daily battle…Thank you to my Husband ..my Sponcer..my family who never gave up..and mostly to Gods wonderful plan for me ❤
Amy Ruble
This explains me almost perfectly. I’m glad I’m not the only one. This is a hard thing to explain to others & you put it so beautifully <3
Nicki
Thank you for this blog. It’s like you took the words out of my brain and put them j this post. I’ve never felt more understood than I do now that I have read this. Thank you for sharing your struggle. Thank you for articulating what I haven’t been able to in my 10 year struggle with anxiety. Thank you.
Sarah
That’s wonderful that you have a great friend. I know what it feels like to be abandoned by friends because of mental disorders. Stay strong ^^
Ashley
At times I find it so difficult to even try to explain to people what’s going on; I just can’t find the words. I feel that this explains the struggle well. Thank you so much Erin for sharing.
Much love,
Ashley.
Steve
Hows it possible? You mean there are others that feel like I do? I wish we could meet and talk but that’s not gonna happen. I wouldn’t know what to say anyway. If you’re reading this all I can say is peace my brothers n sisters.*♡*
Cathy S.
I so identify with this post! I sent it to my girls!!!
keri
Thank you. I thought I was alone.
Erin Marshall
We all struggle. Let’s struggle together. You are never alone.
Donna
This was beautifully said!
Rylie
I’ve honestly never read anything that more accurately describes my life. Thanks so much for sharing, its so good to know I’m not the only one.
Hoss
I feel this very much. I haven’t had anything to say on here but I have some very deep struggles of my own. Especially this time of year with the build up of so many stressful things. “You can do it” would be wonderful to hear more often and I’m glad that you get those.
Jessica
❤
Fiona
Thank you for this, it made me feel less alone and more able to explain it to people around me who wonder. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my anxiety these past few weeks and this is the thing that has made me feel the least alone.
Shay
Thank you for this I often don’t know how to say thank you to my fiance he dose not understand the what those words turely mean for me. I suffer from anxiety depression and PTSD and there’s that part in my mind that thinks how could he love me threw all of this I’m so lucky to have him and this explains that exactly so thank you for your beautiful mind.
Brittany
This nearly made me cry. What really hit me is that I related to every word. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone
Sam
I’ve also been like this for a long time, avoiding and hiding. I still think being invisible is best… but I’m trying to slowly make change as well. My anxiety once thought a weakness has become one of my biggest strengths.
Molly Lengyel
More relatable than I can explain. This is exactly what I needed to read tonight. Beautifully written and extremely inspiring!
Sheri
Wow I love reading something that I can relate to on such an emotional level…it brought tears to my eyes because it’s exactly what I’d like to stay to those people that have stayed in my life…. Absolutely loved it
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Rebecca
Truthfully, I am staying here to be good to myself. To learn how to treat myself better. This has been a long time coming. What i’m doing for myself now, in retrospect, should’ve happened and been done a long long time ago. Even so, I really do believe that everything I have ever experienced and gone through in my life has happened for a reason, and truly does serve a purpose. Even if I don’t exactly know what that reason and purpose is. And, that’s okay. Perhaps someday, I will be able to understand it all.