Learning to Accept Love for Yourself

By Emily RellaDecember 30, 2015

This month we’re looking back on 2015 and sharing the most popular blog posts from this year. You can see the top ten blog posts here.

Sometimes I think the only thing harder than giving love is accepting it. We forget that accepting love is a choice: We have to welcome it.

Often we create and build walls to keep love out. These walls come in many forms: They’re present in our excuses, when we distance ourselves, and when we choose people we know are not suited for us. We build walls in the form of choosing pain. We convince ourselves that it’s easier to be broken than it is to feel whole. We convince ourselves it’s easier to wither and wish for love to come and fill us sometime in the future – because in the form of a dream, love is something attainable. Sometimes it’s easier to keep the love we wish to have out of reach than it is to take it when we get it. Because the truth is: Love is terrifying. And there are a multitude of reasons why we don’t accept it when it appears.

Sometimes it’s because we think that we are protecting ourselves by blocking ourselves off. Sometimes we think we’re protecting others from the storms that swell within us. After all, if we let them in, they may not know how to weather those storms.

Why do we do it? We do it because love frightens us. We do it because we fear that we are undeserving of that love. We do it because we rather would be crushed under our burdens before we would ever place them upon another person.

We’ve all treated people as less than they deserve at one point or another. We’ve all made choices that are not even remotely close to admirable.

But we have to stop beating ourselves over these things. We have to understand that we are not the sum of all the bad things we’ve done. Nor are we the sum of all the bad things that have been done to us.

You are not a burden. You are not too much to handle. You do not come with too much baggage. You are not only your 3AM mind, your pacing around your room, your doubt, your fears, or your mistakes.

Imagine the best parts of yourself, your favorite part even. Find the things that you love most about yourself. Imagine yourself on your best day.

Because that’s also who you are. We’re not defined by the worst things that stir within us, but by the best things that we have grown.

Learn to accept love. You deserve it.

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Comments (15)

  1. Vanessa S Taylor

    Thank you! I needed that reminder this morning. The past 3 1/2 years have been extremely hard for me. I lost a lot of myself and I’m just trying to find my way out of the darkness.

    Reply  |  
  2. Vicky

    Beautifully said.

    Reply  |  
  3. Vanessa

    Thank you!!! I so need this reminder today.

    Reply  |  
  4. Monica

    Needed this. Thank you!

    Reply  |  
  5. basma

    This comment could not be shared due to the nature of the message.

    Reply  |  
    1. Claire Biggs

      Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.

      TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.

      If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].

      Reply  |  
  6. Samantha

    This is everything I need to hear. Thank you X

    Reply  |  
  7. Kenzi

    Your words speak to me. I am so afraid that in letting people in they will see they cannot handle what they will find. That I will be a burden. That they will see all of the terrible things I have done. When I don’t remember to think about it I forget that I still have such real fears of letting others love me. Thanks for the reminder. I am worth being loved and loving others.

    Reply  |  
  8. Joyce

    We have to welcome love and KNOW we deserve it. BEAUTIFUL!!!

    Reply  |  
  9. Pingback: We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve | jessicostello

  10. allison

    Resonated with me <3 thank you for lifting me up. Not ever do I make the list "what I love most about myself" but I think now is the perfect time to do so.

    Reply  |  
  11. Sam Dub-ya

    Love this! Thank you!

    Reply  |  
  12. Veronica

    This is what I need to believe.
    You are not your mistakes, your tears, your unpopularity, your zero friends, your ugly moments, your embarrassing happenings and slipping grades.
    You are also your joys, your laughter, your good hair day, and the way you find beauty everywhere. You are your funniest joke and your love for good coffee, your search for adventure, and the way you hit off with that one person, if the chat only lasted two minutes and hasn’t happened again.
    But whatever you are and you aren’t, you are LOVED. You are a person, not a burden, and you are worth the love. You were intricately designed by the Creator of the Universe, and He loves you more that you can fathom. and He made you worthy. You are worth the love of others as well. Please know that.

    Reply  |  
  13. Tiffany

    Thank you for this God bless you

    Reply  |  
  14. Destiny

    I’m in love with this. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
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