This month we’re looking back on 2015 and sharing the most popular blog posts from this year. Want to help us make 2016 our best year yet? Check out our #into16 campaign here.
First, I’ll say, “I’m sorry.”
I’m sorry for how many days you’ve spent
not wanting to see the next. I’m sorry for
how much it hurts, and I’m sorry you have
to drag that hurt behind you everywhere you go.
I’m sorry for the times when you don’t even feel
the hurt and what’s left- nothing- is so much scarier.
I’m sorry for how scared you are. I’m sorry for how tired
you are. I’m sorry for all the moments you’ve missed out on
while you stayed in bed convincing yourself to keep breathing.
I’m sorry. I’ve been there. Some days, I’m still there.
Second, I’ll say, “brave,”
which is what you are. There is nothing braver than
living through these days with the curtains drawn tight
around your chest and these nights where every candle you own
couldn’t emit enough light to help you find your way.
There is nothing braver than living through these feelings.
You are a warrior in an unsuspecting body, fighting every day
just to be. And I know-
I know how it feels to be in a fistfight with yourself, with your
memories, with your trauma, with your pain. I know how it feels
to beg your brain to be quiet just for a moment, to search for peace
everywhere, to dig through every pile of dirt, to search between every
page of every book, to play hide-and-seek with peace when it is always
changing the rules. You are so brave to keep looking.
Third, I’ll say “tomorrow,”
which is what I want you to promise me. I know tomorrow isn’t
something you think about a lot, and, if you do, it’s not with rose-colored
glasses. Sometimes tomorrow feels impossible. The night is so long
when you feel like you want to die and the dawn seems miles away.
I know. There are so many nights I’ve curled up in bed with
anxiety, who scoots over to make room for depression,
who always calls dibs on the good pillow and there I am,
knees bumping into the wall, begging them to leave me alone. And again, I’m sorry. I’m
sorry these nights visit you more often
than they don’t. I’m sorry they’re such rude guests,
keeping you awake until morning, leaving you scared to sleep lest they get you into
trouble when you’re not watching.
The promise I need you to make is this: We’ll see each other tomorrow.
Tonight doesn’t always keep its promises, but tomorrow has potential.
Find one good thing and hold it tight between your fingers and wait for tomorrow. I
know it’s hopeful of me to ask, but can I see you tomorrow? Tomorrow
is a place where things can be handled and coffee can be made and
you can have your favorite dinner. Tomorrow is a place where we can
figure out a better way to cope with living and tomorrow is a place where,
one day, we won’t be coping – we’ll be living. Tomorrow is where I’ll
see you. I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise.
Can you promise me tomorrow?
Want to contribute to our blog in 2016? Send an email to info@twloha.com with a submission or pitch. Make sure you put “Guest Blog Pitch” in the subject line of the email.
Helen
Thank you. I’m experiencing this is real time. I like not feeling alone.
Drake
“You are a being. You are. You exist. You contribute. You breathe. You love. You fight. You hurt. You feel.
And because of all this, because you exist, you matter.
So let the world see the person with a story that deserves to be told.
Your pain isn’t a burden.
You are a being, not a burden.”
J~
Thanks. You understand so well.
Dana
I am so touched by this
Thank you.
Natalie
Such beautiful words. These are words I wish I could have said to my friend. I miss her every day.
Natalie
Such beautiful words. These are word I wish I got the chance to say to my friend. I miss her so much.
mandy
I needed to read this tonight, thank you for writing it and sharing it.
Natalie
What a beautiful poem. I was in tears the entire time. The cadence, timing and description are breath taking. I’ve never read anything more honest, loving and afraid.
Michael Bauer
Powerful. Thank-you.
Pingback: Tomorrow | curlsandturns
Catherine
thank you.
I hope to one day write something that touches another person so strongly.
I will remember these words and always return to them… tomorrow.
Fiona
Thank you. I wish I could have shared that with my sister. So beautifully written , and I feel touched that someone else has put into words what I have experienced and my sister also for too long.
.@YoursTrulyTownsley
I want to say to those beautiful, precious Youth; that im an old broad that believes in the best of You, believes that You can overcome, that You are the Legacy to carry on. I love the Youth because a Beautiful existance in this world they create. Without them, where would we be?
Kim
Thank you. That guy my heart. This has been closed to wise year of my life and there have been many times times I have wanted to say I’m done, but I keep going.
Liza
Usually, I am a fan of all that TWLOHA shares but I do not approve of or agree with this post, there is no hope in it. I have found that hope by believing that while I did go through some traumatic moments, they are no longer happening and I don’t have to relive them in every other moment of my life. Doing this is like allowing a cut to scab up and then peeling it off, opening the wound up again. For the past thirty years, I have been a tragic bleeding wound. But I refuse to continue to be defined by my trauma, it is no longer running my life. I am facing my past, coming to terms with it, and then letting it go. There is hope and there is healing. I will be living proof of that: happy, joyous, and free.
Jessica
This poem has been so helpful to me, who is experiencing this at this very moment. I am grateful for it. Please don’t discourage people speaking their truth. It may not be your truth and that is okay. You can have your truth. But please don’t stop someone else from speaking theirs. You don’t know how much it may help someone.
Jennifer
TEARS OF LOVE, HOPE & UNDERSTANDING!!!!
Talia
I hope tomorrow is better. My heart is so heavy and fighting the inner demons is so hard. This is so encouraging that tomorrow could be better….
S
I live with this struggle every day of my life, will tomorrow ever come? Or will I forever be empty, sitting alone in the dark waiting for the sunrise…waiting …still waiting…
Darquetta
Hi I would like to say that this is exactly the same poem that I wrote when I was younger. I blog and so I posted my poem on my blog page a few days ago. I am amazed at how great minds think alike, also keep doing what you are doing. I suffer from depression, everything was going great. I was going to school. My semester ends on the 23rd of this month. I would have graduated next year but I don’t think I will. I had 2 important things that was important to me which was my health and school. I feel like I messed up by doing treatment. I knew that I needed help and I was going to wait until the school semester ended but it was hard for me to wait. So I went into treatment again and it’s been hard for me with my emotions and trying to accept some things. I suffered from a tragedy horrible experience that I don’t think that I fully entirely processed. It’s hard . . . I’m conflicted with a lot of emotions right now . . .
Toni
Thank you for getting help. And I’m so glad you’re here. I know the feeling, how everything might be falling apart, but it’s not, and you’re going to be okay. Keep fighting, brave person. I believe in tomorrow for you and in a future that isn’t what you would have dreamed maybe, but it’s better. LOVE
Karen
This comment could not be shared due to the nature of the message.
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at info@twloha.com.
Pingback: Top 10 Blog Posts of 2015 « TWLOHA
Jessica
Thank you so so so much ❤
Jenny
This comment could not be shared due to the nature of the message.
Claire Biggs
Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.
TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at info@twloha.com.
Gabrielle Terry
Sending this to my two best friends. Who are both experiencing this so heavily.
Amy
Thank You!
Paige
This. I can relate to this blog on every level, every line. Stay alive guys, life is worth living just because He lives.
Hayley
Thank you, it helps explain to the uninitiated 😉
Rina
Thank you. Really, just thank you <3
Eddie Lopez
I’ll see you tomorrow. Because tomorrow I might make a difference for someone else as you have for me today.
L
I always come back to this post to find strength