Welcome to Midnight

By Jamie TworkowskiDecember 18, 2017


The ball drops and fireworks. Resolutions are made.
People scream and people kiss and is it possible to change?
Is it really truly possible to leave the past behind?

Welcome to Midnight.

Another year comes to a close. Another year begins.
With a moment in between.
Why the fuss?
Why the fame and fireworks?
Is it more than hype? More than something else to sell us?
Is there something to this holiday? Something true inside it?
Because isn’t there something inside us that aches for change…
Dreams it to be possible…
To let go.
To hold on.
To leave it behind.
To start again.
To be new.
Is it possible?

If you’re reading this, if there’s air in your lungs, then you’re alive today tonight right now.
And who can know how long we have here…
And is it a gift? Was it ever a gift? Did that ever feel true or could that one day feel true?
Are there things to fight to live for?
Moments and people. Weddings and children and all your different dreams.
Is your life more than just your own?
And are there broken things you were made to fight to fix?
Broken families, broken friends… Injustice.
Will you move for things that matter?

Wouldn’t it be nice if change took just a moment?
Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy?
Midnight and we’re new. Midnight and the past erased. Midnight and we’re free.

It seems to come slow. It seems to be a surgery.
Forgiveness. Healing. Sobriety. Letting go. Starting over.
It seems to happen slowly over time.
One day at a time, the choice made new each morning.
Will you fight?
Will you fight to be healthy?
Will you fight to be free?
Will you fight for your story?
Will you fight to get the help you need?

Change takes more than a moment, but maybe there’s also something to this celebration of a moment, something to the way it speaks to us, something to the way we fear it, and dream it to be true. Maybe it’s the most honest moment of the year.

It’s possible to change.

Welcome to Midnight.

Here’s to the possibilities.

Peace to You.

p.s. – What do you hope to leave behind in 2017? What do you hope to find in 2018? Join the conversation at #WelcometoMidnight on Twitter and Instagram. Order your Welcome to Midnight shirt online here.

Leave a Reply

Comments (49)

  1. Darquetta

    I hope to be able to find forgiveness and peace for myself in 2016

    Reply  |  
  2. Lyndia M.

    I hope to leave behind the struggle to be accepted. I hope to find Self love, more hope and faith in 2016

    Reply  |  
    1. Tiffany

      Read Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst.

      Reply  |  
  3. Nicole

    This is one of the many sections flagged in my copy of “If You Feel Too Much”. A book and organization I am so happy I have found, and found because of the promotion by the USWNT, specifically Ashlyn Harris. This book was the tipping point for me to make a change, to step out of the shadow that I had found myself lately on many fronts. To take a risk and step outside of my comfort zone. Knowing I rather fail and fall flat on my face then stay stagnant, motionless because of a cloud of fear, for this I am thankful. 2016 holds many new adventure for me and a new job that I start tomorrow. Thank you Jamie Tworkowski

    Reply  |  
  4. Katelynn

    I hope to leave behind all the pain of my past and start working towards a bright future in 2016.

    Reply  |  
  5. Kaly

    I hope to leave behind the behind fear and anxiety that lead to too many sleepless nights. I hope to find peace and happiness in 2016.

    Reply  |  
  6. Tiffany

    This was amazing. I love it.

    Reply  |  
  7. Sam

    This comment could not be shared due to the nature of the message.

    Reply  |  
    1. Claire Biggs

      Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with us.

      TWLOHA is not a 24-hour helpline, nor are we trained mental health professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.

      If this is an emergency or if you need immediate help, please call and talk to someone at 1-800-273-TALK or reach out to the LifeLine Crisis Chat at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx“. We also have a list of local resources and support groups on our FIND HELP page. Please know that we also respond to every email we receive at [email protected].

      Reply  |  
  8. Jackie E.

    Your writing really has changed my life. I’ve fought with depression for what feels like my whole life & suddenly, in finding twloha, I didn’t feel so alone. It’s still a day-to-day battle but it doesn feel like I’m losing the war anymore. So thank you.

    Reply  |  
  9. Staci

    I hope to leave behind selfishness, procrastination, fear, hopelessness, and depression.
    I hope to find adventure, perseverance, love, joy, patience, kindness, hope, confidence, self control, and selflessness in 2016. Did I mention love? Not just the warm fuzzy kind, but the kind that is unconditional. The kind that is not attainable in and of my self, but only with His help, His Spirit.

    yes. yes I will. I will persevere.
    Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1

    Not only so but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5

    Reply  |  
  10. DeJA M

    I plan to make something of myself in 2016. Break into the next level of my life, and never look back on the negatives of 2015. I’ll learn from my mistakes and move forward.

    Reply  |  
  11. Mia

    I hope to leave behind in 2015 feelings of procrastination, anger, self-doubt, confusion, frustration, resentment, and doubt. I hope to find in 2016 who I am, forgiveness, a hobby, and that sort of reassurance that everything will be okay, and that I’ll be able to learn from my defeats in 2015.

    Reply  |  
  12. Pingback: New Years Reflections | Melanie Joy

  13. anoldhead

    Thank you! This is beautifully written and so thought provoking…life…”nobody gets out alive”

    Reply  |  
  14. Pingback: #WelcomeToMidnight | Simply Savanna

  15. mimi

    I hope to leave behind negative thoughts and I’d like to find peace in my mind and heart ;

    Reply  |  
  16. Jill

    I couldn’t have read this at a better moment in time. Just another reminder that I’m not alone and here’s to the possibilities life had to offer. May they be endless and attainable. Thank you!

    Reply  |  
  17. Caleb Mullis

    I hope to leave behind EVERY. SINGLE. Suicidal thought. I hope to leave behind depression. I hope to build my own foundation for the abused children. I hope The Color Morale and TWLOHA join forces. I hope… For everyone to know hope.

    Reply  |  
  18. Shelly

    I plan on leaving behind my doubts; as a mother, friend, teacher, lover and most of all person. I want to seek balance and become a spoon.

    Reply  |  
  19. Pingback: Welcome to Midnight | myjourneyuphill

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  21. Crystal

    As I look back on 2015, I see so much pain and self destruction. It started off as a great year and half way through it went down. This year just started and I have a plan. A plan to get on my feet and to build myself up despite my depression. Each day is a battle. I’m hoping I have more victories this year than last.

    Reply  |  
  22. Mary F

    Thank u twloha for the blog posts and letting me know it’s ok to ask for help and ok to take care of myself. I finally reached out to some ppl at church last year about my depression and suicidal thoughts and self harm. They got me to a good counselor who has been very valuable helping me work thru stuff. So this new year I hope to be a year of making positive changes, and finally belIeving I am loved and have value and legit personal needs, and not be afraid to protect and nurture my own self.

    Reply  |  
  23. Ev

    This is special. & it means a lot to me. I wish I could better explain why, but I’m caught speechless.

    Reply  |  
  24. Anna

    This is amazing. I am in love with this <3

    Reply  |  
  25. Katalina

    Porque no escribes hace un año??? O no estoy en el blog corrector??? Me encantó la historia de rene pero me encantó más la valentía que tuviste para emprender esto en un mundo tan loco y con tan pocon tiempo para dar realmente tiempo…… a qyo en quien quiere expresar dolor…. porque ahora todo se oculta todo se guarda entre mas feliz te veas mejor te deja vivir la vida este mundo

    Reply  |  
  26. Pingback: Welcome to Midnight (sorry, TWLOHA… I’m using your idea) – realliferiss

  27. Pingback: And is it possible to change?  – Zitronenkind

  28. Alyx

    This is my favorite chapter in If You Feel Too Much. It inspires me beyond belief. Thank you Jamie!!

    Reply  |  
  29. Julia

    I hope to leave behind the moments I still feel sad without obvious reasons and I hope to find happiness in every day because I deserve it and my wonderful boyfriend is trying so hard to make it easier for me, day by day.

    Reply  |  
  30. Gabriela

    I loved this text. Thanks

    Reply  |  
  31. Pingback: Welcome to Midnight 2017

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  33. Bobby Brechler

    Happy new year. This year will be full of change for me. Thank you. For everything.

    Reply  |  
  34. Pingback: So this is the New Year… – Half-Hearted Musings

  35. Marina

    Right now. It’s raining.
    It’s a new year, I’m alone, but still, It’s a new year.
    The rain tells me the past has ben wiped away, cleaned, erased.
    But in reality it hasn’t.
    The past is always there, it will always be there. It doesn’t matter how much I try to forget it, it’ll always be present.
    Even though my family is long gone, and I’m all alone, the birds are singing. It’s 7AM and I dont really know what to do with my life.
    I hope I find out when I wake up.
    I hope I find out at all.

    Reply  |  
  36. Pingback: Welcome to Midnight – Bleeding Ink

  37. Jazmin

    I hope to leave behind all my mistakes and troubles in 2016. I hope to find my way and true happiness and continue on my path to self love in 2017

    Reply  |  
  38. Adriana

    Tentei suicídio várias vezes, já estive internada por duas vezes e às parece que não pertenço a esse mundo externo, que deveria talvez nunca ter tido alta. É um buraco que te traga e faz de você um nada. Você sabe que tem que se levantar e viver, mais é tão difícil. A vida é muito difícil

    Reply  |  
    1. Claire Biggs

      Thank you for your message, Adriana. We’re so sorry to hear about your struggles and that you’re going through a difficult time right now. Is there anyone in your life you can reach out to and tell how you’re feeling? If so, we encourage you to do so. You deserve to have people in your corner who will fight for you.

      Please know we’re fighting for you, Adriana. It is hard, like you said. Life is very difficult. We wish it wasn’t. We wish you weren’t going through this. But please know we believe in you and your story. We want you to keep living.

      We list resources here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/

      But if you can’t find your city or need more help, please reach out to us at [email protected].

      Reply  |  
  39. Josefine

    I hope that I can leave my depression in 2016, but since it’s already 2017, I hope that my therapist can help me… so I finally can move on and maybe be come that happy girl I was before.

    Reply  |  
  40. Roberta H.

    Hello, Friends!! I’m writing this account because I have experienced and am living a totally different and new psychiatric attitude from which I will not back down. I have been told and now believe that I do not have to be mentally ill for the rest of my life. This thought has so cheered me that I am not going back to old ways of thinking and acting. I have truly suffered from severe depression all my life, along with BPD and PTSD. Along with chronic migraines and a seizure disorder, life was quite a picnic? But now I don’t have to have an attitude of loss; I can choose to believe in overcoming. In the most recent psych unit I was in, all I heard about was coping skills, coping skills, coping skills. One day I brought up the idea of thriving skills to our class leader, and the whole class took off with it. People have an inner need to be productive, and coping is not productive. Thriving is productive? Hurray!!

    Reply  |  
  41. Becky

    My daughter took her life on Christmas Eve 2013 and each year that passes I hope the next will be better. I miss her ever minute. Hope !

    Reply  |  
  42. Jennifer

    I hope to be better! To find my light again!!! I want to smile and feel the warmth of Jesus shining through me once more!!!

    Reply  |  
  43. Jennifer

    I want to be better in 2018! I want smile again and to feel the warmth of Jesus shining through me once more!!! I want to be a good wife, mother, daughter and sister!!!! Im tired of being sad and broken I pray I can find the light once more!!!

    Reply  |  
  44. Jennifer B.

    In early 2017 I attempted suicide and after time in the hospital and the psych ward I recovered. But I developed a fear that what if things got bad again, what if I’m not strong enough and I land myself in the hospital or worse? What if I can’t make it? Slowly I’ve realized that I’m not the same person that attempted suicide. I’ve grown and changed and I have hope and a purpose. In 2018 I hope to find peace with myself and honesty with my dad. And I hope to pursue my purpose as I graduate high school and head to college for a career in nursing.

    Reply  |  
  45. Oregon


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  46. Legacy


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