I am a suicide survivor. Without the gritty details, underneath it all, I am a living, breathing picture of hope.
I am scarred, both physically and mentally, but I have started to take pride in the experiences I’ve had in my life. I’ve come to the simple yet incredibly important realization that I am still here today, despite my best efforts not to be.
I have been to the bottom, but I am alive because I never fully gave up the hope that there were better things than what I was giving myself. I let myself be judged and degraded, and I thought that was all I would ever be worth. I thought wrong, and if you are thinking those things about yourself, I can tell you right now that you’re wrong too.
Even if you think you’ve given up entirely, keep this in mind: The smallest bit of hope can be enough to pull you back and up, no matter how far down you are. Find that thing, that person, whatever it is, that keeps you here and cling to it as if your life depends on it.
Don’t stay silent. Scream at the top of your lungs if it means you are telling your story or asking for help.
Realize that even the smallest things can mean the difference between living and being alive. You get one life. Live it to the fullest extent that you can. Make your story mean something to even just one other person. Use the hurt you’ve felt and the tears you’ve shed to show someone that they’re not alone. Make your story have a purpose.
Maybe The Academy Is… said it better than I can: “Hold your head high, heavy heart.”
I believe in hope and giving hope to those who don’t have any left. I believe that laughing can help more than you might realize. Someone once told me that time heals all wounds. I didn’t believe it then, but I started to as time went by and things affected me less. I believe in trusting others but also trusting your gut instincts. I believe in keeping the people you love as close as you can. I believe in speaking your mind, and I know that the people who truly care will stick by your side no matter what.
And if they don’t, you can do better.
For me, my nephew is my world. I can only hope that one day I will be able to tell him what he means to me and know that he understands. I need the people I care about to know that I care about them dearly. I do my best to tell them, to make sure that they know what they mean to me.
People need to know that they have someone who cares, but in the end, the choice to live is all up to you. I might not be alive if I hadn’t had people close to me, but I know I wouldn’t be if I hadn’t made the decision to live on my own. You need to mean something to yourself.
Open your eyes in the morning and do whatever it takes to get yourself out of bed and keep moving through your day. Do it day after day, and one day it will come easier to you.
Give a new meaning to the things you’ve been through, and more importantly, the things you’ve survived. You are worth the effort. You are worth the time.
You’ve come this far. Please keep going.