Dear Stranger,
If you are reading this, there is a chance that either you or someone you love understands what it feels like to fight battles that nobody else can see. I wanted to write this because mental illness is still so misunderstood, and too many people suffer silently while pretending they are okay.
You may recognize names like Zoloft, Prozac, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Ativan, Klonopin, Seroquel, or others. To some people, they are just medications. To others, they are part of surviving another day.
What many people do not understand is that these medications are not taken because someone is weak. They are taken because depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and other mental illnesses can completely consume a person’s mind, body, and spirit.
Sometimes the medications leave people exhausted, emotionally numb, disconnected, or unlike themselves. But for many, they are still better than facing the darkness completely alone, without support.
Mental illness is complicated because it often hides behind smiles, routines, jobs, conversations, and laughter. A person can show up every day for work, answer texts, joke with friends, sit at dinner with family, and still feel like they are drowning internally.
Some people spend every day overthinking everything:
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Do they secretly dislike me?”
“Am I a burden?”
“Was that comment meant to hurt me?”
“Why can’t I stop thinking this way?”
The mind becomes exhausting. Sleep disappears. Or maybe they sleep too much because being awake hurts more. Some stop eating. Others eat for comfort. Many apologize constantly because they feel like they are inconveniencing everyone around them. And the hardest part? Most people fighting these thoughts become experts at hiding them.
They say “I’m fine” because they do not want to worry anyone.
They isolate because pretending to be okay becomes emotionally draining.
They smile because they do not want their pain to become someone else’s burden.
I know this because I loved someone who fought this battle every single day.
He explained to me what it felt like to live with thoughts that never stopped, exhaustion that never lifted, and emotions that became too heavy to carry alone. He hated how the medications sometimes made him feel numb, tired, or disconnected from himself, but he also understood that he needed help because the illness itself was far more terrifying than the side effects.
That is what people misunderstand most often.
The medication was not the enemy.
The illness was.
Depression lies to people. It convinces them they are alone even when they are deeply loved. It convinces them their pain will never end. It distorts reality until hope becomes difficult to hold onto. And unless someone has experienced it personally, it is hard to fully understand how exhausting it is to fight your own mind every single day.
Losing someone to mental illness creates a different kind of grief. The people left behind replay conversations in their heads. They wonder if there were signs they missed, more they could have done, or words they should have said. Love naturally makes us want to fix pain, and it is heartbreaking when we no longer can.
But one thing I know now is this:
People battling mental illness are not weak.
Many of them are fighting harder than anyone around them realizes.
This letter is not written for pity. It is written for understanding.
Be kinder.
Check on people.
Be patient with the friend who disappears for a while.
Be gentle with the person who seems irritated, exhausted, or distant.
Sometimes, the people struggling the most are the ones trying the hardest to look okay.
And if you are someone silently fighting these battles yourself, please know this:
You are not broken for needing help.
You are not weak for taking medication.
You are not attention-seeking by asking for support.
Mental health is health.
Sometimes people do not need you to fully understand their pain.
Sometimes they just need to know they are loved while carrying it.
So to every stranger reading this:
Please choose compassion when you can.
You never truly know what someone is surviving behind closed doors.
And to the people silently struggling tonight:
I hope you stay.
I hope you keep fighting.
And I hope one day your mind becomes a safer place for you to live in.
With love,
Someone who understands 💚
Depression has a way of making us feel incredibly isolated. We’re here to remind you of the truth that you are not alone. We encourage you to use TWLOHA’s FIND HELP Tool to locate professional help and to read more stories like this one here. If you reside outside of the US, please browse our growing International Resources database. You can also text TWLOHA to 741741 to be connected for free, 24/7 to a trained Crisis Text Line counselor. If it’s encouragement or a listening ear that you need, email our team at [email protected].