This month, we’re looking back on the top 10 blog posts of 2016. This post was originally published on January 4. 2016.
Vitamin D. Sunlight. Go
outside. Get a good night
of sleep. Not too good.
Not shades drawn forever
good. Not like you used to.
Open the windows.
Buy more houseplants.
Breathe. Meditate. One day,
you will no longer be
afraid of being alone
with your thoughts.
Exercise. Actually exercise
instead of just Googling it.
Eat well. Cook for yourself.
Organize your closet, the
garage. Drink plenty of
water and repeat after me:
I am not a problem
to be solved. Repeat after me:
I am worthy I am worthy
I am neither the mistake nor
the punishment. Forget to take
vitamins. Let the houseplant die.
Eat spoonfuls of peanut butter.
Shave your head. Forget
this poem. It doesn’t matter.
There is no wrong way
to remember the grace of your
own body; no choice
that can unmake itself.
There is only now, here,
look: you are already
forgiven.
Our very talented friend Sierra DeMulder has a new book of poetry coming out soon, and her publisher is donating $1 to TWLOHA for each preorder. Get your copy from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your local independent bookstore.
Sara
Awesome
Cynthia
BEAUTIFUL!! TO KNOW WHEN NIGHT COMES AN YOU CAN’T SLEEP, GO OUTSIDE AN WATCH THE STARS IF POSSIBLE! ALWAYS CALMS ME!
Samantha Fike
hey…ummmm im Samantha fike, and im a Christian. maybe this is triggering to some so if it is please by all means dont read this. Jamie Tworkowski, you are free to read this and respond. I love Jesus. and i struggle with self harm and a little depression. not even my family understands, and i told my mom that i was getting help this evening at my youth group and when i got in the car, she got all mad and yelled at me, saying that ‘she had a headache, and was waiting outside for 5 hours…’ which is not true cause i talked for only 10 minutes, and she overreacted and blew up on me. I cried and she was like ‘suck it up’ and ‘stop it, you’re not really upset’…but I AM. that’s why i ____ for pete’s sake!! anywho….im so tired and alone-feeling and just distraught. I was prayed for, which felt great. I felt Jesus’ love. but when my mom yelled at me, the good feelings all went ‘poof’….gone. I would love for Jamie to talk to me on email. thank you for listening to me.
sabrina
my name is Sabrina and I watched To write love on her arm today. I was bored and had no idea what it was about and i didn’t realize how much it would effect me. I’ve struggled with self hate since i was in 6th grade and because of this i have seen my world fall apart. my grades plummeted, i have lost so many friends, and i cant keep up with all the smiles anymore. In 8th grade I started to self harm it didn’t last long because my friend found out and helped me to stop. 4 years later the scars are gone but so is the friend. Anyway the reason that I’m writing this is because while i was watching the movie I got the news that i hadn’t made it into my dream college and it hit me hard. I knew with my grades my chances were slim but i didn’t realize how badly i would take it. I’ve cut myself off from everyone and my normal method of dealing with my problems isn’t helping anymore. Im so scared cuse I know i have fucked up my whole life to the point where i cant even get to college but i cant get myself to care anymore. I dont know who to talk to and i know that i wont go back to self harm but i just needed someone to tell so I decided why not just come on her and tell my little story. its not much but i just had to tell someone.
William
I need help… I really don’t know what to do
Jessica
Hello William,
Please reach out to someone. Anyone. And if that person is not comforting, reach out to another. Let other people into your pain. Some won’t understand, but some most definitely will. You matter. You are important. You are so so loved.
Please. Be gentle with yourself. You are here in this body for a reason.
Claire Biggs
Hi William,
Thank you so much for reaching out. If this is an emergency, we urge you to reach out to someone you know and ask for help. You can also always call 911.
We list resources on our FIND HELP page here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/. You can also find 24-hour crisis lines there.
Finally, you can now text TWLOHA to 741-741 to get connected with a crisis counselor for free, 24/7.
We hope you get the help you need, William. If you need some words of encouragement, we’d love to send those to you. You can reach us at [email protected].
Jessica
I am so moved and so grateful. Thank you a thousand times ❤
Joseph
Wow! Your words resonate with me…how delightfully welcomed!
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Lauren Carter
Powerfully moving. Beautiful.
Annoyed
That is well intentioned. Minimalist, to be diplomatic. But have you had depression? Severe? Like where you find yourself sitting in your car for 5 hours be the thought of the energy to turn the ignition is to impossible. You’d pee in your pants before moving.
This is a disease. Offering up a series of activities is minimizing that fact. It’s certainly well intentioned in a Pollyanna kinda of way. But let’s get real. If those in the throws of depression could do even one of those things, if we could control our depression by taking these quick little steps, that are no brainers to most people, yet to us?? Our depression (an identity other than that of the body it’s contained within) contols us. So please don’t place the solution for depression upon the suffering. You are essentially saying that our choices are the reason we feel worthless, want to evaporate. No young lady. You need to study depression. Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Deoression is a good way to start. It’s a page turner and highly acclaimed. Write to Andrew Solomon. Or someone who has experienced the worst of it. And perhaps you have. Or thought so. People often think they’re depressed when infa t, they’ve fit the blues. Are sad. Maybe it’s circumstantial. Hormonal. Lack of sunshine, or grief of some sort. It’s not automatically depression. My depression, anxiety and fears are not of my control or desire. I’m done with PTfuckingSD. It’s overstayed it’s welcome. AND it’s changed the way my brain functions. Which I have no control over. So please don’t tell me I do. Because you are really saying I created this, I should get off my lazy ass, follow your instructions and I’ll be as good as gold.
TWLOHA: I love you guys. You are at the top of my feed. But these pieces are becoming too common. They make me feel like you don’t really understand. I wish you’d be more mindful with your selection of content. Well meaning people are sometimes dangerous to someone WITH DEPRESSION.
TWLOHA
Hi there,
First, we want to thank you for reaching out to us and for being so open about your struggles. We know the weight that these things can hold in our lives, and we want you to know that we think it is an incredible sign of strength to be so honest with your comment. Our hearts are heavy to hear how much these things have affected your life, and we know so well the pain that they bring with them. Please know that we hear you. We see you, and we are with you.
Our mission statement says that we are dedicated to presenting hope and finding help, and that we exist to encourage, inform, inspire and invest. We believe that hope is real, and we want to do everything we can to show that hope to whoever might need it, no matter what they may be going through. Our intention is never to minimize or make light of someone’s pain, but to shine a light into whatever darkness we might encounter, and hope that perhaps even one person might find comfort in the words that we share. We hope with all of our beings that every blog, every poem, every video, every word that we post might help someone start on their road to recovery. Or start again. Or keep going.
We’d love to talk with you more and hopefully provide some encouragement to you. If that’s okay, and if you’d feel comfortable with it, please email [email protected] so we can talk more. We’ll be looking forward to hearing from you.
Jennifer
Thank you so much. You articulated my thoughts perfectly. Writing in platitudes is damaging for those of us suffering from severe depression. I’ve done everything on that list and my depression didn’t budge. Maybe this post is more for people who have the blues. People living with depression are often dismissed, and I feel this post is unintentionally dismissive of the true medical nature of depression. This type of post would be helpful to nondepressives who are struggling with life difficulties, but this post is downright reckless for those of us dealing with severe depression that many times renders us powerless no matter what we do.
Melissa
I love this. 🙂
b.e. noll
Thank you for this. Thanks for partnering with TWLOHA.
Thanks for still being here. Thanks for sharing your words & voice with us.
Lauren Carter
I needed to hear this. “You are already forgiven” I love it.
Molly
This was more perfect than words can explain.
E
You made a difference to me tonight. Drunk or not. It’s not a good place to be but your words made me feel.
Becky Ebert
We are so happy that these words helped you tonight. There is hope and help out there, so please don’t stop trying. If you want to share more of your story, or need someone to listen, please email us at [email protected]. You can find local resources here: https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/ And, for immediate aid, text TWLOHA to 741741 to be connected to a trained counselor via the Crisis Text Line. You are worth the effort, never forget that.
chhata
fantastic