Seven Billion and Growing.

By Chad MosesApril 9, 2013

“Seven Billion and Growing.”

That is what the little green sign on the edge of our “city limits” of Earth would read. But maybe that growing isn’t always felt; somehow, it doesn’t always seem true.

For those of us who are reading this at midnight or 2 AM—maybe 5, 6, 7, 8 AM—after sleepless nights, weeks, and months; for those of us who buried our friends and family last week or last winter or last year: we are well within our rights to question just how much this world is “growing.” Growing should mean progress, but we’ve been here for eternity now, spinning our wheels in this emotional tar which seems too sticky to be helped out of and darker than the space between the stars.

“Seven Billion … and Grabbing.”

Maybe even threatening to take us down. Seven billion more people who are too busy to hear me, too successful to care, too programmed in their answers.

And yet … I believe and hope beyond hope that this world is actually shrinking. I’ve seen it before, in eyes much like yours, when the lights come on and you think, “Someone gets me.” Seven billion doesn’t seem as significant or as threatening over coffee talk with one real person. Two hugs at a merch booth. Three phone numbers committed to memory to dial on nights such as this.

The pain you felt, it was never planned for you. You can stop wondering, because I know the friend you left or the ones who left you did indeed leave too soon. This isn’t the way it was supposed to be; but then again, it’s to be expected. We’ve been left with shoulders shrugged and hands full of baggage tagged “Home,” “Distrust,” maybe even “Return to Sender.” But for all of the heartbreak you and I have felt, we have to breathe and realize—we are surviving.

At best, you can make seven billion connections to other living people who also question everything that’s been planned for them. And whatever seven billion times seven billion equals is also the number of smiles heaven was built to contain, the amount of tear-stained cheeks that will never feel dried salt again.

The map of this city called Earth is littered with detours and routes that ought to be thrown to the side—seven billion potholes will get the best of our patience. Our hearts will never be immune to the chill of vacancy, and with seven billion comings-and-goings, it is expected that a few will leave their mark. But the pain you felt was never planned; it happened, but it was not destined. And now, you can plan what to do with it. You don’t need to approach humanity with fear. Just for a second, imagine: imagine your life with an interested audience; imagine a calm, and loving, and reflective voice, saying, “We will get there together, I swear … I will stay awake with you.”

You are not alone. Not now. Not ever. Do not give up.

Allow me, just one voice among seven billion, to start the song. Join in whenever you feel comfortable. The words are simple.

“I’m here for you. We can make it through.”

—Chad

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Comments (29)

  1. glenndiligent

    Thanks man. That was great. the biggest thing that i love about twloha is that it takes one micro second to think about the huge community of people top realize I’m not alone. I’m NEVER alone. I can always count myself among a group of ever growing people. Whether it be the 7 billion, or the people who have self injury and anxiety/depression issues. I get that in a split second from twloha, and thank you for contributing to that.

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  2. Trudie

    I can’t even express how much your words mean to me right now. Thank you. Thank you so much.

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  3. DanielleMarieRedding

    Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes I forget that I am not alone. I spend so much time on my own as a single non traditional college student that when life gets overwhelming I feel like there is no one who understands or cares. I needed that reminder.

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  4. Julie

    Absolutely beautiful. In a state of mind that is so hard to understand, yet equally hard to explain, you chose your words perfectly and with an obvious amount of sympathy, empathy, and care.

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  5. Lauren

    By far the best post I’ve read on this website. Makes so much sense and it doesn’t sound “preachy”. Thanks for writing this.

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  6. ciera

    I feel less alone when I read these things on Twloha. It really puts my thinking into perspective when I realize im not so different after all. When I realize that so many other people have the same questions, comments, and concerns that I do it really makes me wonder why I always feel so alone. Thank you for relieving that feeling even if it was for just a few minutes.

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  7. Kate

    thank you so much for posting this. I was thinking and praying about a ton of different things tonight, but one thing I kept coming back to is the need for every last person on this planet to know they are not alone, that they are loved and that someone (even someone who has never met them) cares about them. Thank you for keeping the conversation about this going. <3

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  8. jennifer Duarte

    Wow that was amazing. Thanks so much for the reminder. I needed it even when I’m at my happiest point. Sometimes you just need that to be said again

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  9. Britt

    Chad,

    I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. It really touches me and It’s true. None of us are ever alone. There is someone out here that knows what it’s like, knows we we are going through, is going through what we are growing through. I have questioned more and more things over the last 15 months than I have in my entire 23 years of existence. I try to live by the saying: “Everything happens for a reason”. Even living by that saying doesn’t mean that I don’t question things though.

    Again Thank you for writing this and reaching out!! 🙂

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  10. Coral

    On a day full of heart ache and feelings of isolation, this blog entry made me feel a little more at home in this world.

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  11. Ruthi Prescott

    This brought tears to my eyes. So beautifully written! I lost my husband to suicide 3-1/2 years ago. Still stings. Still healing. But 2013 has been a year of turn-arounds for me on a lot of levels. I shared this with my friends and hope that they will be as touched as I was, and come away turning thoughts over in their heads. Outstanding…thank you.

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  12. Brandon Ryan

    Thanks Chad, I needed that.

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  13. emarie

    On Monday, my fiance lost his job. Tuesday, he shared with me some incredibly scary news about his cancer diagnosis, and about two hours ago, he was in a car accident. This week is only half over and I’m wondering how much worse things are going to get. And it’s selfish of me and I know that. Sitting here, too far away from him, I am alone. I feel alone. And out of the seven billion on this planet, he’s the only one I can think to call. And I wonder what’s going to happen when he isn’t here anymore to call? Thanks for always being there, ToWriteLoveOnHerArms.

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  14. Alexa Sussman

    Sometimes all we need to hear is “you’re not alone.” Thank you for spreading such a great message, thank you for making me feel better about the fact that I am not the only one going through this!

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  15. Laura

    Readin tht at 5 at night after not sleepin it leaves me cryin quite a bit…And mayb the thought of a hand sumone offers me…it leaves me with the hope ur words are true….

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    1. Melanie

      They are definitly true Laura. Hope the rest of your night was better.

      Take care,

      Melanie

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  16. Lorilei

    Thank you Chad, I really love your post. I will re-read it as necessary, as your words are heartfelt and resonate genuinely.

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  17. Brandon

    Chad,

    Thank you brother. I needed to read exactly what you wrote. I’m in a really bad spot in my life and reading your words really helped me right now.

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  18. Diana

    I a time of crisis and I reach out to family who can’t even be supportive in my recovery I am so thankful to read your message tonight at 4:30 am!! TY TY TY !!! It’s comforting to know I am not alone!!

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  19. Ell

    I got up this morning after the third night in a row I haven’t slept. So much heartache and pain weighing me down, so much I can barely breathe at times. And it’s so easy to watch those 7 billion passing me by and smiling and saying all the right lines… and feel so alone, so out of place in this world, so hopeless. But reading this… there’s someone out there who knows I hurt and who cares. And it means the world tonight.

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  20. Amy

    You know I never thought about it like this. All of this is sooo true!! Thanks. I’m glad I have that one!

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  21. Julie

    Thank you for allowing these words of yours to cross my path tonight!

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  22. Anonymous

    Wow truly beautiful beyonds words could express. At least that’s how I feel after reading it.

    Thanks sincerely,

    Melanie Ouellet

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  23. lizzie

    1 week clean from self harm today!

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    1. lauren

      thats awesome lizzie!!!! Im proud of you 🙂 and chad the blog was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!

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  24. Haley Wright

    This Blog.
    This concept.
    This Organization.
    This hope.

    I decided to do research on this social advocay group for my H 12 English project. Why did I chose this? because it is close to my heart. I have suffered from anxiety, depression, self harm and was almost on the verege of suicide. Reading thhis blog and reading in to this group has given me new found hope. It makes me want to help so people dont get to the point I was at and have to fill the low I felt for the longest time.

    You all gave me soemthing I havent had in a very long time……

    Hope.
    It helps knowing I am not alone.
    others made it through and I can too.

    I can never thank you all enough.

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  25. Malissa

    Thank you. You can’t imagine how many times I’ve laid awake at night when my depression and loneliness hit me like a ton of bricks and the only thing that consoles me anymore is getting on this site and finding a blog entry like this one that makes me feel like I’m not all alone in this struggle. thank you thank you thank you

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  26. Samantha

    I read a few of these a week and I know that they are all touching but reading this tonight hit home I really needed to read this thank youb

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