To anyone struggling,
If you feel so horrible that you can’t sleep because you’re terrified of tomorrow, take a step back and look at all the other days which terrified you, and you still made it through.
See, you are so brave.
I know the voices in your head are loud. But hear me when I say this: you are loved. You’re not a burden. Your friends and your family care about you.
And no, you are not too much.
Please don’t hurt yourself. Because if you’re like me at all, you’ll want to do it again and again and again.
Instead, try to breathe. Imagine what colors would feel like. And have water. Have lots and lots of water.
Create a playlist of your favorite songs. Remind yourself that there will always be songs to add to that playlist. And you gotta stick around to hear them.
Think of your favorite book or film or TV show, and the comfort in reading them or watching them over and over.
And while you’re at it:
Hold on to the beauty of the little things. Like how red and blue and white make purple. Or how you can have pictures taken in the middle of a busy street and printed in just five minutes.
Or how you can create anything, and I mean anything, from a blank canvas.
And when none of these seem to work, remind yourself of your greatest memories with your best friends or from childhood. There will be more of those. And you have to stick around to experience them.
I know your appetite has gone. But try to eat a little. One spoonful for yourself and one for your favorite celebrity, maybe? (Mine is Tatiana Maslany).
Call your friends. Tell them you are struggling. Be honest. They will understand. They do and will love you.
Speak to a therapist. It’s okay. They will help you.
Have your vitamins and take your medicines and eat your fruits, too.
Look up at the stars. See the trees around you. There’s magic where you stand. The whole universe is with you.
You are not alone.
Thank you for sharing your struggles as well as your insight with us. I needed to hear this today, as I’ve been going through some hardships with my employment. Sometimes, all it takes is to read a motivational post like this one to rekindle the fire that’s inside of you or to take that small step forward no matter how hard things may be. Sending love and light your way!
I needed this today. Thank you.
I came to read this article in the right time. Thank you so much for this kind words. 👍
Thank you for posting this. I’m at the end of my rope. I feel like I’m drowning. This gave me hope.
I wish this gave me hope. My job is in a slow down. I can barely make ends meet. And on top of all that I am lonely, so lonely. I am old, and feel like I will never find someone to love me again. They all want slender, and athletic/toned women. The one who took me as I was no longer wants me for whatever reason. He won’t say. I’m tired of hanging on because my mother is still alive, and my death would kill her. I’m so tired. And tired of being alone. I am writing this from work, and can’t imagine how I will make it through another 13 hour shift.
Please stay. We know it can be hard to continue when things feel both overwhelming and hopeless. But there is hope, we believe that. You are not alone in how you are feeling and there are people who want to help you. Would you email our team at [email protected] so we can provide you with some support and encouragement? It would be an honor to hear more of your story and to help you find hope and healing.
I’m trying to find the hope.
More than I think I ever have.
I love how this made me feel… relaxed, at ease, appreciative, hopeful, and calm. This blog entry resinated with me so much, on different levels. I read it 3 times, and each time it made me feel more comfortable with myself. 💖 great writing.
I struggle each and every day. Day is night and night is day. I do not sleep like regular people. When I do sleep, I wake up violently shaking because I am alone in all of this with no family. In August 2017, I met the love of my life. We were going to marry. He was aware of my severe depression and anxiety since 2000. He told me that I was safe and that he understood. He pressured me to buy a wedding dress and pay for a wedding venue. As soon as he had entered my lonely life, he ended things and packed up my things throwing me out of his apartment. I was forced back into that very dark place from which I came. Isolation, panic, depression, and no one to listen to me sent me spiraling into the deep, dark night of the soul. Since 2000, there have been two hospital stays and a 30 day recovery center. I have had six psychiatrists with them prescribing every drug out there. It takes more than therapy and medication. We all need people who care for us. We need to feel safe and understood. I have lost jobs due to people finding out about my mental state and the stigma attached. Shortly after my relationship ended, I tried to harm myself. There must have been an angel near because I am still alive. I reached out to a friend who dismissed the almost fatal act. I had nowhere to turn. Things are still difficult for me, but I have found something that truly helps me through days and nights. I want to let all suffering with depression, anxiety, bipolar, substance abuse, self-harm or suicidal that there is hope. I found it online. It is called BetterHelp. You can get a therapist match
ed to you needs. I had become agoraphobic with trouble getting to a therapist. BetterHelp has been a Godsend. You go to a secure website that has professional, experienced therapist. I have therapy once a week via phone. What a difference it has made. Please know that help is out there. We are not alone in all of this! Just hold on to yourself and know that you are more than enough. You are strong. You are a survivor. I hope that in some small way this helps someone who has given up. Never, never, never give up!
I didn’t want to read this because the title led me to believe I would want to cry but yet again be unable due to the numbness.
But now here I am, after giving in and reading, thanking you for making me cry.
The line about red and blue and white making purple is my earliest memory of “learning” something. Nothing used to make me happier than mixing paints to make purple. To this day purple is my favorite color and I so desperately yearn for that innocent happiness and reading this reminds me that it’s possible.
So thank you, for making me cry and chipping away at part of my numbness.
This is so well written and generous and vulnerable. I have really been struggling to not give up for over a year and these words and your text line mean so much for me to find. Thank you and I will share and support you in the many places I know there is need. Blessings from the universe to you all.
Thanks for this. I needed something or someone to remind me that I am enough. That my head is still my own worst enemy at times and that’s okay. That despite the anxiety, depression, autism and life challenges, it will be okay. Thank you.
Am I brave or more fearful of not getting myself to work etc?
Thank you for these words <3
And remember that your grandmother loves you to the moon and back!
This needed to be read
I sobbed while I read this. Because I don’t know what it’s like to be happy anymore. Because all I do is cry when I’m alone and try to find a reason to face the next day. I’ve been trying to find a reason a day to be grateful to live. And sometimes it’s not easy. Thank you for putting my feelings into words. Thank you for being you.
Thank you, I needed to hear this.