Blog

Aug11
2014

There is Still Some Time.

By Jamie Tworkowski

If you feel too much, there’s still a place for you here. 

If you feel too much, don’t go. 

If this world is too painful, stop and rest.

It’s okay to stop and rest.

If you need a break, it’s okay to say you need a break. 

This life – it’s not a contest, not a race, not a performance, not a thing that you win. 

It’s okay to slow down. 

You are here for more than grades, more than a job, more than a promotion, more than keeping up, more than getting by. 

This life is not about status or opinion or appearance. 

You don’t have to fake it. 

You do not have to fake it. 

Other people feel this way too. 

If your heart is broken, it’s okay to say your heart is broken. 

If you feel stuck, it’s okay to say you feel stuck. 

If you can’t let go, it’s okay to say you can’t let go. 

You are not alone in these places. 

Other people feel how you feel. 

You are more than just your pain. You are more than wounds, more than drugs, more than death and silence. 

There is still some time to be surprised. 

There is still some time to ask for help. 

There is still some time to start again. 

There is still some time for love to find you.

It’s not too late. 

You’re not alone. 

It’s okay – whatever you need and however long it takes – it’s okay. 

It’s okay. 

If you feel too much, there’s still a place for you here. 

If you feel too much, don’t go. 

There is still some time.

This blog is now available as a poster print and as a shirt.

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Comments (162)

  1. Anonymous

    Beautifully put, this brought tears to my eyes. I remember a time when I felt this way and I hope that everyone that needs to hear this can find this.

    Reply  |  
    1. Ella

      So timely and felt it was God talking to me through you..thank you!

      Reply  |  
    2. Anonymous

      I needed this today. Generally I don’t click on the links but today I did

      Reply  |  
  2. Lily

    Thank you, Jamie!

    Reply  |  
  3. ShutUpMonica3

    Thank you, Jamie. For sharing your heart. For shedding some light. For reminding us that we have a place, that our stories are important, that we are not alone.

    Reply  |  
  4. Angela

    Awesome poem n message. love it. 🙂

    Reply  |  
  5. Amy Elise

    Thank you, Jamie. Even before the news today, I’ve been needing this for quite some time. I think a lot of people need this, especially in light of recent events. So thank you.

    Reply  |  
    1. Cam Lee

      Just reach out to people, there’s always people to grab you by the shoulders, and hug you, mentally or physically! 🙂

      Reply  |  
  6. Anonymous

    Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  7. Laura

    Thank you! This was so very much needed and will be my new daily reminder.

    Reply  |  
  8. Anonymous

    Thank you, this came at the right time

    Reply  |  
  9. Anonymous

    What if you have done all that and still nothing? There just isn’t anything anymore. I wish there was. I look for it. I do, but its all smoke and mirrors. Why? I have no idea. I just want it to stop now though… I’m very tired.

    Reply  |  
    1. gail

      Like Jamie says, just take a break. Tomorrow may be different. Please tell someone how tired you are. I’m sure there are so many people that love you and want to hear your story. Peace – I’ll pray for you

      Reply  |  
    2. Anonymous

      Come to me all who are burdened and weary and I will give you rest.. In me you will find rest for your souls. Love you, hang in there

      Reply  |  
    3. judy

      I have read all the comments and no one has mentioned medications. Antidepressants can be miracle workers for those who just can’t figure out a plan for fighting this disease, and/or work the plan. Im 67 and have been depressed literally all my life until 7 years ago. That’s when I sought medical help and began antidepressants. It was the beginning of changing my life! After the meds kicked in, it automatically took me to a new level of ability to think beyond the malaise and actually do some things that eventually brought me out of my lifelong depression. For me, it was weekly counseling, which I continued for 3 yrs, along with renewing my relationship with God. 3 things I know: Depression very often starts early in life because there are certain temperments which are very susceptible to it.
      There is often something in the relationships of the childhood environment that promotes the susceptibility to a great degree.
      And for those with the first two markers, generally there will always be a need for getting to the bottom of what caused depression to begin affecting your daily life, and then getting help to develop strategies to stop the cycle.
      For me, I have cut my meds in half, but I will never go off them. And I am very careful about staying clear of people who bring me down (even family, unless they care enough to seek help with their own problems). I consistently go over the things I learned which help to keep me up in difficult situations, and especially try to stay very aware of my own weaknesses and traits which need to be dealt with instead of made excuses for.
      Most of all, DON’T EVER GIVE UP TRYING AND BELIEVING IN YOURSELF.
      Blessings.

      Reply  |  
      1. G.

        Thank you for posting this. I am 61 and have had an underlying depression for so long. Your comment makes me feel like I am not too old to get help!

        Reply  |  
    4. Sreenanda

      Love and light from India. Please hold on. There is so much to look forward to, even though it may not seem like that right now.
      Just take a day’s break and take care of yourself. We love you.

      Reply  |  
    5. One who cares

      Please take time to rest, to sleep, to dream. When you wake up live your dream. You are not alone! You are not a zero.

      Reply  |  
    6. jennifer

      please stay

      Reply  |  
    7. Anonymous

      Talk to a therapist, a friend, a relative. Get help. U r worth it n life is worth it. No matter what, it can get better. U r important n there’s a reason u r here.

      Reply  |  
  10. Sara

    Thanks, Jamie.
    I needed this.

    Reply  |  
  11. Meg

    Thank you so much for writing this.

    Reply  |  
  12. Priscilla Morales

    I am utterly devastated at the passing of actor Robert Williams. It really hits close to home because I’ve struggled with depression and have almost taken my own life. It really breaks my heart to hear stories of people who just can’t stand it anymore and decide that it is better just to leave this earth. I have also recently learned that my own little sister had tried to end her life on several occasions. Depression is serious. And if you are struggling I want you to know that there is hope, and that there is so much life yet to live. You are a beautiful soul. Don’t ever forget that.

    Reply  |  
    1. lost

      i am dealing with sobriety and the guilt and shame from past wrong doings. i was really down after i heard of robin williams and how alone he must have felt. i pray he found peace. this earth is hard and our problems are harder but a Godsent Angel told me to listen to a song on youtube called What Sin by Morgan Cryer and i found my peace and mercy

      Reply  |  
  13. Anonymous

    I try to ask for help, but I feel like a nuisance. Nobody has time. I don’t even want to wake up anymore. How do you get through it??

    Reply  |  
    1. Tiffany

      You get through it one day at a time. Even at our worst it is worth it to keep fighting. Try to look for the joy and beauty in the little, everyday things. Stay positive and stay strong. You are important; always remember that.

      Reply  |  
  14. Krischelle

    Sometimes I forget that I am here for more than a job and promotion. Thank you for the reminder. We all need reminders that we are loved and worth it 🙂

    Reply  |  
  15. Anonymous

    I’ve been struggling for a while. A friend recently took his life and now Robin Williams. Sometimes it makes you wonder if they couldn’t do it, how can you win this battle against darkness. Tonight, this letter/poem/beacon on hope is a reminder that the end of their stories doesn’t have to be mine. Every day is another win…another step closer to getting out of this darkness. Thank you for taking the time to write this and share it.

    Reply  |  
  16. Anonymous

    Thank you for posting this!

    Reply  |  
  17. beautifully broken.

    I feel too much. I need a break. My heart is, in fact, broken. I simply CANNOT let go. I know I’m more than the drugs, But I simply cannot let them go either. The only reason I’m here, is my beautiful daughter.
    Honestly, I don’t know why I’ve shared this much with you.

    Reply  |  
    1. Jeff

      Think about what you might tell your beautiful daughter if she were in your shoes. Tell her about hope, and the future, and that if you can just hang in there, this “crap” might pass by. I’m glad you have listed your beautiful daughter as a way to hang on. there is time.

      Reply  |  
    2. nicole

      you shared this much because you want to let go. teeny, tiny steps. all my love and prayers!

      Reply  |  
    3. nicole

      you shared this much because you want to let go. teeny, tiny steps. all my love and prayers!

      Reply  |  
    4. Knit hugs

      I think you shared because you know that your story matters. And I can tell you there are people who want to hear it. Thank you for sharing it. It’s ok to need a break. Take it.

      Reply  |  
    5. Anna

      Thank you for being brave enough to share this openly. I want you to know I’m praying for you. Life can be so hard, but you’re not in it alone. Hang in there. You are loved. I’m glad you’re still here…and I know your daughter is too.

      Reply  |  
  18. Shelby

    Needed these words tonight. Thank you Jamie. I feel stuck, thanks for reminding me it’s not too late.

    Reply  |  
  19. Jill

    I’ve been to that dark place and I wish I’d had these words of hope and encouragement. Thank you and beautifully put.

    Reply  |  
  20. Anonymous

    Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  21. Anonymous

    Thank you

    Reply  |  
  22. Lisa

    I am going to print this out for myself. Today was a tightrope kind of day for me; the first time in years I have thought about giving up. I hate that Robin Williams could not hold on; but I understand the inability. The pain can be unbearable, and feel like you are in an abyss with no floor. My heart aches for Mr. Williams’ pain, and that of his friends and family who must endure life without him. The world can be a mess. HOLD ON!

    Reply  |  
  23. Kristin

    These words are so important to any and all of us, while trying to digest today’s news and looking forward to tomorrow. I’ll be rereading this when I am low. Many thanks, Jamie!

    Reply  |  
  24. Maureen

    Thank you Jamie, sometimes I really need to hear those words.

    Reply  |  
  25. Michaelyn Morgan

    This would make an amazing shirt design.

    Reply  |  
  26. Lainey

    Sometimes, I just need this reminder. I haven’t felt this way, in a very long time. But this reminder makes me know that I’m moving on. And that I’m doing it well.

    I needed this tonight.

    Reply  |  
  27. Brynn

    After an awful day I needed to see this. Thank you…thank you

    Reply  |  
  28. Anonymous

    Literally everything I’ve been struggling with for the last couple of months. I love it.

    Reply  |  
  29. Anonymous

    Every word of this is true. Having experienced some of this and feeling so incredibly isolated, I know first hand how hard it is. But there are ALWAYS people on your side, even when you can’t find them. You touch so many lives of people that you aren’t even aware of.

    Reply  |  
  30. Anonymous

    I cannot thank you enough for writing this. It could not hace come at a more perfect time for me, thank you

    Reply  |  
  31. M. G. Sosa

    Thank you Jamie, I needed this. August is always a bad month. For reasons I don’t understand, over the years a lot of terrible things have happened -and keep happening- during this month and the truth is today I could barely take it. School, work, family, world news, it all mixed up together and well, it was too much… I really needed this reminder. Thank you for your simple but amazing and deep words that keep me holding on.

    Reply  |  
  32. Sunny

    This is exactly what I needed to hear right now..thank you.

    Reply  |  
  33. Jessica

    A friend of mine, who I know is going thru a rough time herself, shared this on her FB page tonight – it has served as a much needed reminder that I’m not the only one who’s life is beating the hell out of. That friend, thru whom I’ve come to find this blog, is holding her head high thru her rough time – I wish I could follow her example. She and I have never been close but I admire her perseverance and strength. As I’m here in the wee hours of the morning in a deep depression… which finds me every night and every morning… a little light has been shined by this piece – for that I thank you and for sharing this – I thank my friend and hope she continues to keep her head held high.

    Reply  |  
  34. Lisa Parks

    This was beautiful Jamie,thanks for sharing!

    Reply  |  
  35. Laura

    Thank you so much for sharing these words… and for allowing the reality that we’re allowed to struggle.

    I won’t lie. I have been in a tremendous amount of pain at times, unable to even fathom how life might ever be even okay again – let alone good.

    My heart hurts today. Locally, we have race wars, riots, violence and looting – now having picked up again on day 2. At what point did we do devalue human life that these things happen? Aren’t we all know living stories? Don’t we all deserve love and respect? It hurts to watch such hatred and violence. God, we need peace and we need love.

    Then, I came home this evening to read about someone I have long since lived and respected. His ability to make people laugh has spanned literally decades. To know him was to let laughter. As a military veteran, and as a mom to a little girl fighting cancer, I had so much respect for this man. He did so much for humankind. My heart breaks knowing the pain he was in that brought him to such a lonely place that he was unable to shake or escape.

    I want to read this post over and over again. I want to scream, and I want to cry. Not because it’s wrong, but because I (along with so many people) just “get” it. My heart hurts right now, and that’s okay.

    Reply  |  
  36. Morgan

    I can’t tell you how much I need to hear (or read) this more often than I get to. Thank you, more than typed words can express, for posting these words, this reminder.

    Reply  |  
  37. Anonymous

    My heart is broken.

    Reply  |  
  38. Me

    I deal with this everyday. Some are better then others and I try to focus on the positive but it’s hard. There is a push tonight for mh awareness and help for depression. The hype will fade and a lot of people will fight this daily It will go back to the status quo

    Reply  |  
  39. Anonymous

    Very touching and hits home for me

    Reply  |  
  40. Anonymous

    I don’t know how this showed up on my Facebook page, but am so very grateful it did. I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I’ve always felt like I’ve known Mr. Williams – we had a lot in common. And I feel like I grew up with him. And I couldn’t understand why I’m so devastated by his suicide. I tried explaining it to some people, and it actually made less and more sense the harder I tried. I think the thing that hurst the most is how alone he must have felt (as I have been alone in that same overwhelming darkness). I hope,hope, hope that before he crossed over, he felt at least a little bit of the love.

    Thank you so much for posting this, and thank you to all who have shared – I’m so glad I’m not alone.

    Reply  |  
  41. Foolishone

    I wish I could feel so hopeful. I don’t. I say oh, another person walked away from their pain, and you weren’t brave enough to do the same. Were brave enough to relieve everyone from the burden of me. I get it but I don’t have it.

    Reply  |  
    1. Hali

      I’m sure you’re not a burden :). Call a friend and talk, it’ll help more than you know. If anything, you can talk to me – hnea001 at yahoo.

      Reply  |  
  42. Anonymous

    Thank you for sharing. I really needed to read this tonight.

    Reply  |  
  43. Anonymous

    I needed to see and read this today. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply  |  
  44. Alida

    This reminded me of a Switchfoot song. 🙂 http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/switchfoot/morethanfine.html

    My dad passed away on 13/08/2013 – tomorrow exactly a year ago. It hit me so hard, I didn’t know which end was up. But here I am, a year later, and I’m OK. Not “super duper great”, not “excellent” and many days not even “good”, but definitely OK.

    We’ll all be fine in the end. ♥

    Reply  |  
  45. Alida

    I don’t know if this is the right place to post this, so I’m sorry if it’s not.

    If anyone here needs a willing ear (I can’t necessarily give advice, but I’ll listen/read and have a virtual coffee with you if you’re too far for a real one), feel free to talk to me at contactalida [at] gmail [dot] com.

    I am not at all a psychologist or anything like that. I’m just someone who’s been through some stuff. And talking about it and writing about it has helped me more than answering the “so how do you feel about that” question. 🙂

    Reply  |  
  46. Anonymous

    I have been there. I tried to take my life and was devastated when I awoke in the hospital the next day. But I am so glad that I did. No matter how bad things feel, there is always hope. Sometimes I get close to that feeling I had the day I tried to take my life, but I remind myself that life has ups and downs. Sometimes it seems as if there are more downs than ups but remember this:

    THE ONLY THING IN THE WORLD that you have COMPLETE control over is your thoughts. THE ONLY THING.

    It takes time, it takes A LOT of work, but you can do it. Reach out here. You can find someone to share your feelings with. Don’t suffer alone. I love you. There are people who love you even if you don’t know it.

    Reply  |  
    1. Jessica

      Been fighting this over 20 years. I’ve done the programs, take the meds, am a functioning contributing of society. But it’s a fight every day. People say it will get better, well I’ve been waiting. What if this is as good as it gets? How long do I suffer before it’s ok to seek peace?

      Reply  |  
  47. Anonymous

    My heart is breaking

    Reply  |  
  48. MarjakaThriver

    I am sobbing now. I wish I had not closed down my SurvivorsCanThrive blog. Thank you. I needed this reminder. Stop and listen today. Don’t make light, change the subject, or let that wall fall down between you. You never know who’s life you may save with a simple kind word, eye contact or listening ear.

    Reply  |  
  49. Maggy

    Thank you Jamie! I needed this today!

    Reply  |  
  50. Anonymous

    This brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes faking it is the only way to get thru the day. Acting like you are okay when all you want to do is cry. Sometimes you don’t know why other times you just hurt so bad that all you want to do is take that razor and make the pain go away. In the end when you wake up in the morning you are stronger than the day before.

    Reply  |  
  51. Jarvis

    Thank you for this. Truly, thank you. Everyone needs to see this. Be blessed. 🙂

    Reply  |  
  52. Nancy

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem of encouragement. It is a gift to all, and especially to those who suffer from depression. And…as the parent of a daughter who suffers from depression, it gives me a tool box of words to remind her to never give up. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  53. Kathi

    Awesome poem! Can I share it on my blog? I will make sure to provide proper credit and link it to your blog.

    Reply  |  
  54. 420spoons

    I needed this.

    Reply  |  
  55. Anonymous

    Brings the added comfort to a heart no longer wishes to see forever or grow old with another. Only hoping to not be able to feel the pain of loss of a lifetime of memory

    Reply  |  
  56. Anonymous

    This is beautiful. It definitely hit home with me.

    Reply  |  
  57. Leonor

    Thank you :’) <3

    Reply  |  
  58. Anonymous

    Thank you for all you do for people. I love your words. Keep spreading them 😉

    Reply  |  
  59. Anonymous

    I cried when I heard this morning the Robin Williams committed suicide. Like Robin I have bipolar. What a waste of a beautiful person. “There is still time” is touching. I am fortunate that I have a wonderful support system that hasn’t let me down yet. I want to be a good example, an advocate for those of us with mental illness.

    Reply  |  
  60. Anonymous

    Thank You Jamie, and all at TWLOHA. I needed this today…it’s time to start accepting that I need more help and to be more open about how I feel.

    Thank You

    Reply  |  
  61. ELisabeth

    I would love to have this printed in my office. I’m the suicide prevention program coordinator and I think having this up would be awesome.

    Reply  |  
  62. Diana Barrett

    you touched my heart. As I lost my oldest son the same way June 10,2013. Since then I haven’t stoped running, taking care of the things he did think he could. I just had to keep moving. until June 3, 2014 when my youngest son tried the same he just couldn’t bear the pain of that day. although on life support he thankfully after 21 days in the Trauma ICU and surgery, pulled threw. I didn’t take a breath. as my life has imploded I stopped rather was stopped by a dream 2 week’s ago. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop feeling the pain. When I heard about Robin I heard suicide, asphyxiation. The only thing I saw was my son’s death certificate. I cried some more, no one called no one to talk to. and today I saw you. Thank you

    Reply  |  
    1. Anonymous

      You are a beautiful strong women and mother. I’m so sorry for the pain you have felt for the last few years. Your story and your ability to keep moving forward gives me the strength to do the same. Thank you for being you and for sharing your story. You shall be in my thoughts.

      Reply  |  
  63. Janneke

    Thank you, it brought tears to my eyes. You are so right. It is okay to feel sad, or broken. There will come a time that you feel alive again. It is okay not to feel okay, you can admit that. It might be hard to see the light at the end. But it is always there. There are people you can trust, or be around. There will come a time that everything will be okay.

    Reply  |  
  64. Anonymous

    TWLOHA breaks my heart and fills me with joy all at the same time! How wonderful to have this source of complete HOPE for people who feel like life has given up on them. Every time I read these blogs I am brought to tears, at the heartbreaking stories shared but also at the overwhelming love that TWLOHA offers to people. I am so grateful for this organisation and wish I could share it with everyone. What an amazing inspiration.
    Stay alive.

    Reply  |  
  65. rosie

    I really needed this today. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  66. Savannah

    For the past two years of struggled with the reasoning behind my dads suicide. I never would have had the courage to talk about depression and suicide with others if it wasn’t for TWLOHA and the Storeytellers campaign. Thank you for helping shine light on the fact that your never alone and that people are dealing with the same things all over the world. I wish that my dad would have realized he wasn’t alone in life and that there is hope and there always will be.

    Reply  |  
  67. serenity

    I am hanging onto these words at the moment. Thank you so much, these words are all that is getting me by. It scares me to the core that someone as talented, blessed and inspirational as Robin Williams cannot escape this fate. It is a sickeningly selfish thought I know, and I am so sorry, but it terrifies me that if even he cannot escape it, there is no hope for me. I feel so tiny and so tired of the fight

    Reply  |  
  68. Michelle Hastings

    Beautiful .

    Reply  |  
  69. Kalid a Ahmed

    Magnificent Poem,
    Thank you for sharing and It’s moving!

    Reply  |  
  70. heidi

    This was a ray of light cutting through the darkness that is my life….just breathe…and hold on one more day…..

    Reply  |  
  71. cindy

    Ty, for such a beautiful outlook on life, feelings and knowing your not the only one out there..Amen..

    Reply  |  
  72. Andrea

    There is just never enough out there for people when they are hurting

    Reply  |  
  73. Anonymous

    This made me cry

    Reply  |  
  74. Oxymoronic

    THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! Hope and Help is available – PLEASE ASK. You are Loved…

    Reply  |  
  75. Ayesha Qadeer

    It is so beautifully written each word touches my heart. I do not cry easily but this poem made me cry. Thank you so much for posting this

    Reply  |  
  76. Jenny

    I need this SO much! Thank you Jamie <3

    Reply  |  
  77. Anonymous

    this is so beautiful!!

    Reply  |  
  78. Geoffrey

    Jamie, I listened to you during your visit at Sacramento State. Since then I have completed the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training(A.S.I.S.T.) workshop, obtained my BSW at Sac St, begun my MSW at USC, and accepted a drug and alcohol counselor position for an agency in Portland, OR.
    Life hasn’t been perfect but….today, August 13, 2014 I am FIVE years sober! Thank you for the services you provide! The candle you have lit has burned bright, allowing guideance for so many.
    Geoffrey

    Reply  |  
  79. Caits

    Really needed to hear this tonight, I’ve been feeling real depressed lately and very low like I don’t want to live anymore but reading this gave me hope thanks for sharing you really saved my life

    Reply  |  
  80. Nancy

    For once I took that break and it really helped.
    Thank you for reminding me.

    Reply  |  
  81. Jacqueline

    Sometimes you take it hour by hour. But in the darkest hours try to remember good memories. Like the feel of the sun on your face, or how good a glass of cold water tastes when you are thirsty, or how your happiest feeling as a child. Hold into that. There’s more to come!!! Promise!!!

    Reply  |  
  82. jane

    Stunningly beautiful.I have been in those places too.

    Reply  |  
  83. Anonymous

    really needed to hear this right now. helped me not do something i would regret.

    Reply  |  
  84. Anonymous

    This is perfect. I wish everyone felt this way though.

    Reply  |  
  85. Elijah Edwards

    So you sit in a room.
    There are no lights on, but it’s bright because of the two windows on either side.
    Odd that you’d care about the lighting.
    There’s half a bottle of sparkling water on the countertop beside you.
    Well, not quite half, you were really thirsty yesterday.
    An empty chair sits facing you to your right.
    It’s shorter than yours, but the seat is wider as if yearning that much more for its purpose to be filled.

    Your fingers are trembling.
    Not unusual for someone like you.
    An empty picture frame gapes at you with a blank smile
    The sheet of glass whose neglected duty is to fill the void lies broken on the floor.
    Gently, you lift the pieces and place them back in the picture frame as best you can.
    Like a malformed puzzle it starts to come together.
    One last piece, aside from all the small pits lacking the shards reduced to powder.

    The movement is slow.
    You give the glass a new duty.
    Warm and cold at the same time,
    Terrifying and reassuring.

    And then you complete the puzzle with a smile.
    Slowly you rise to make a go for the bandages.

    Am I glass?
    Fragile, prone to precarious perches and fail-ridden falls?
    Am I the frame?
    Empty, incomplete, or rather, complete with pits and cracks?

    I refuse to believe I’m anything less than broken,
    I refuse to believe I’m anything more than alone.

    In my refusal I realize that I still believe I am worth it.

    Because broken gives the illusion that I was once something glorious,
    Or that I still am and no-one, not even I, can see it.
    Because alone shows that I know what it’s like to be in company,
    And forgotten shows that I know what it feels like to be remembered.

    I care about the lighting because the light is where I’ll be when this is over
    When the hammer stops pounding in my head
    When the voices around me cease their name-calling
    Their pushing
    Their cursing
    Their yelling
    Their teasing
    Their laughing…
    But the closest we have to peace is to believe that they are wrong,
    And we are still worth it.

    But if I’m worth it… Then why would I ever dishonor myself in this way?
    Less than half a bottle of water, not half empty, nor half full,
    Almost half, that is all.
    But I’m sparkling water, hooray!
    I’m pretty! I taste special! I’m unique!
    On the contrary, how special am I if I’m only less than half of what I could be?

    I’m not alone in these feelings.
    Millions of people filter in and out of consciousness,
    viewing their life as if through the screen of a television.
    Disconnected, because whenever they connect,
    they are locked out by the rest of the world.

    Two chairs, one empty, one seating me.
    Who will fill that chair?
    A doctorate of Psychology perhaps!
    A doctorate of Psychiatry!
    Impressive titles no lie,
    But they speak to me through a curtain.
    They converse with me through an impenetrable wall of pain… and of joy.

    I’m not down and out because I feel pain.
    I’m down and out because I once knew what joy was…
    And have forgotten it.

    They try to relate, and I applaud them for how close they get,
    I applaud them for trying, I applaud them for coming so close to convincing me
    That they actually care.

    But how can one,
    Who has not been where I have,
    Seen what I have seen,
    Felt what I have felt,
    Heard what I have heard,
    Breathed the air I breathe,
    Seen the look on my mother’s face when my father left,
    Heard me at the top of the stairs at night checking to see if my mother hadn’t left too,
    Felt the stinging blows of cruelty in the voice of someone whose duty was to protect us,
    Nor felt the joy of being saved by a man whose own pain was immeasurable for a time,
    The ecstasy of giving the one person in the world I couldn’t live without to him,
    The beauty of new life in the form of a brother…

    More pain and more joy follow.
    Too often they try to understand my pain.
    Pain is only made severe by the loss, or forgetting of Joy.

    You’re out of gauze, but you managed to use a bit before tossing the roll into the trash.
    Slowly, you raise your head to the mirror.
    Your eyes lock with those staring back.
    The gaze holds so much.
    Wisdom beyond its years.
    Tears innumerable.
    Memories inescapable.
    Laughs incalculable.
    Smiles for miles…
    “Forget the pain for a while, let’s think about joy today.”

    And for a glimmer of an instant,
    The surfaces of my eyes no longer look like broken glass.

    Reply  |  
  86. rebecca

    Thank You for this. I had just stumbled upon your site and you have no idea how i needed this. I need to share this with another.

    Thank you
    rebeccam44303@gmail.com

    Reply  |  
  87. Glenda York

    Beautifully said. A light to help combat the darkness. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  88. ej

    This is so powerful – it’s a plea for life. It touches right down to the core of that dark place. I lost my beautiful daughter to suicide over 10 years ago… Since that time it flutters at the back of my mind so often. I’ve had to remind myself many times, especially those first few years, I carry so much of her inside of me and as long as I am here she will be, too. I’m okay. Life is living and breathing and doing what you need to express what you need to say. For me it’s been poetry and blogging, writing in notebooks, doing art and having wonderful friends (some of them hers) who understand this pain. Saying what needs said in some way is very important. Say it, write it, art journal it. Back away from the hectic and stress when you need to. Listen to music, look at nature, appreciate beautiful tings. There is so much to stay for. I tell myself every day. peace

    Reply  |  
  89. Jessica Mesa

    This is amazing! I think this post would be a great exercise for my middle school students to practice performing monologues.

    Reply  |  
  90. Anonymous

    Thank you so much. I was having such a bad day for my anxiety today, I felt so unloved and so insignificant, and this really helped me calm down. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  91. Anonymous

    I absolutely love this, this brought tears to my eyes! I know so many people who should read this, I myself needed it. thank you!

    Reply  |  
  92. susan

    jamie -so awesome -can i share it on my site-Iwill give u all the ctrdit

    Reply  |  
  93. Lostsoul13

    Is there peace though? Ever? As someone who has been fighting the urge to let go for years, I wonder if letting go of this life is my only way of finding happiness.

    Reply  |  
  94. Bekah

    This brought tears to my eyes when I read it. I’ve been going through a lot recently and I really needed this. So thank you.

    Reply  |  
  95. Anonymous

    Thank you for this.

    Reply  |  
  96. Anonymous

    Been having a rough few weeks and struggling to stay clean from cutting, so thank you for the encouraging words! <3

    Reply  |  
  97. Edward Allan Belen

    This helped me feel better. Thank you

    Reply  |  
  98. NORMA GONZALEZ

    love it !

    Reply  |  
  99. Anonymous

    My eyes watered as I scanned across the words… first rapidly just reading words, then as I continued onto the next row of words, meanings sinking in, my pace slowed and my breathing staggered. I remembered you can only fool yourself for so long. Thank you for writing this. For reminding me that I am not alone.

    Reply  |  
  100. Sarah C

    This is such a lovely post. Thank you for these words.
    I have ordered the print of this to go up on our wall in our home office 🙂 Just so lovely, and very true.

    Reply  |  
  101. Jorden

    Love these words. I have the poster and it has helped me through some very dark times. Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  102. Anonymous

    I was feeling so.stressed and down today thank you for the beautiful poem. It made me feel a little better and brought tears to my eyes because I am.not alone

    Reply  |  
  103. Laura

    I read things like this and it brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes someone saying that it’s going to be okay is all you have and today I needed to hear it so badly. Thank-you. Just thank-you.

    Reply  |  
  104. Bev

    Thank you.

    Reply  |  
  105. Melissa

    I am 3 days away from one year clean from self-injury. Although its so very tough some days, I take a break, and remind myself I am worth so much more then this. Thank you, with the help of TWOLA I can get through my illness, and help people who need help also. Every day isnt great, but always worth it. 🙂

    Reply  |  
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  108. Maggie Bell

    Thank you so much.

    Reply  |  
  109. Layla

    Thank you

    Reply  |  
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  111. madi

    Jamie,

    I met you today. I saw you speak and it reminded me of who I am and who I’ve become and I don’t think I’ve ever felt that many emotions at once. As a person who spent years hating myself, a teenager lost in pills and self-hatred, everything you’ve done has brought me to life. Watching you speak with tears in my eyes, I remembered eveything that I was and how I pray I willnever live in darkness again. I’m now at home rereading the stories and poems you wrote that inspired me to get help in the first place, and I’ve never been as proud of myself as I am in this moment. Thank you for using your voice to say the things so many need to hear. Thank you for everything you do, for everyone you save. Thank you for saving me.

    Reply  |  
  112. Pingback: Top 10 Blog Posts of 2014 « TWLOHA

  113. Nicole

    Hi Jamie! I wish with all of my heart that someone would have spoke these words to me when I was in college. The girl that I was then desperately needed to know it was okay to be heartbroken and to feel too much. I think I still feel sooo much but I think that feeling so much keeps me compassionate for the people who are in pain! So thank you for your beautiful words and for sharing your heart with the world!

    Reply  |  
  114. Dave Wise

    Thanks for writing this. It’s still poignant a year later. #HopeIsReal #HelpIsReal #YourStoryIsImportant

    Reply  |  
  115. Anonymous

    Thank you. Coming across this and the many other beautiful messages on twloha has given me a bit more hope, and it will definitely give hope for others in the future too ~

    Reply  |  
  116. Pingback: It’s OK — whatever you need and how long it takes — it’s OK | Princeton United Methodist Church

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  119. Sara

    That was wonderful, it gave me shivers and brought tears to my eyes just reading it. What a powerful piece of writing.

    Reply  |  
  120. Alex Hanna

    What a beautiful example of honestly “spoken” verse. Thank you for sharing, Jamie, and thank you for your vulnerability and your strength.

    Reply  |  
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  123. Zoe

    Beautiful. Thankyou.

    Reply  |  
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  125. Julie

    I wish my daughter would’ve seen & read this. I’m thankful that my eyes have been brought here to read this. It does make me feel better. Thank you, Jamie.

    Reply  |  
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  127. Monica

    Holy shit. Who ARE you??? Thank you for writing this. Thank you for speaking. I only learned of your existence a few minutes ago so I have no idea what your story is, but it must be an intense one. Only one who has suffered deeply could write this. I’ve been told I feel too much my whole life. So I’m excited to read your book. I’m excited to see the words “it’s ok” connected to feeling so much. Grateful beyond words. And amused you wrote this on my birthday two years ago, a day which suddenly went South, and left me “feeling too much” again. Though I’m tempted to say I wish I had found your blog back then, I’m happy to say I trust that today was the right day to find it. May you be blessed for your pain and revelation of vulnerability.

    Reply  |  
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  129. Faye

    Thank you for sharing. I wish all depressed, down-trodden people could realize tomorrow IS ANOTHER DAY!

    Reply  |  
  130. Lizeth

    Simple words that are wonderful Thank you! I really need to read this… Now I feel so hopeless and alone

    Reply  |  
  131. Catherine

    Brought tears to my eyes. To me it’s the Lord’s answer, so loving and compassionate. He knows my heart He knows my pain. This is a good way to stick around ame not give up.

    Reply  |  
  132. George James

    How true, My Dear.

    Reply  |  
  133. Lisa Clark

    Needed thid

    Reply  |  
  134. Jodie

    This is simply beautiful… I need this print. ♥ 🙂

    Reply  |  
  135. Isaac Veon

    This is my absolute favorite quote! It has really inspired me. I am doing a project in my school and am using this in my blog post! Thank you!

    Reply  |  
  136. Catherine geist

    This is well worth taking the time to read.

    Reply  |  
  137. Derek

    I wish it were all that simple.

    Reply  |  
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  139. Ray

    I’ve needed this post on so many occasions. It’s helped me carry through on a lot dim days that I thought would burry me.

    Reply  |  
  140. Ana

    Thank you for writing this. I come back and read it every day that I need this reminder. So much love. Thanks.

    Reply  |