Tell Them
When I used to feel suicidal, I felt so detached and numb. But having people vocalize their support—friends, family and therapists—made such a lasting impact, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.
When I used to feel suicidal, I felt so detached and numb. But having people vocalize their support—friends, family and therapists—made such a lasting impact, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.
Hilary’s death was a turning point in my life. I had struggled with depression, OCD, and anxiety for most of my existence, but I was afraid to tell anyone, except my mom, about it. I worried what other people might think of me. But when Hilary died by suicide, I realized I had to push past that worry and speak up.
If I were to make a list of all the words I, or others, might use to describe me, it might include: “weird,” “inconsiderate,” “quiet,” “lonely,” “goofy,” “kind,” “awkward,” “focused,” and “depressed.”
Her heart is pounding rapidly. Her head is throbbing. It feels like her chest is constricting and she can’t seem to catch her breath.
you question your worth as you attend therapy while your friends have slumber parties.
There is tremendous pressure to be a “good” crazy. To match the criteria, to see yourself in the depictions from books or television. To follow the straight line of recovery, as if it’s that easy. As if it’s a straight line at all.
Depression told me I wasn’t enough, it told me I was a burden, it told me that I wasn’t worthy of love.
It’s been a long time since I’ve actually enjoyed my birthday. Over the last few years, it’s been a painful reminder that with another year passing, I’m still a mess.
This was the kind of depression that made me feel lonely when I was being hugged.
Tomorrow and the tomorrows that follow will need you. We will need you here, joining us in this ongoing fight.
Within a span of two years I’ve been hospitalized four times and made three attempts. This summer I spent 30 days in two psychiatric hospitals. Less than one week after leaving one hospital, I made another attempt.
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