Believing in What Isn’t Guaranteed
If and when I find myself at rock bottom, I will make my peace there.
If and when I find myself at rock bottom, I will make my peace there.
Two years ago, my younger sister and only sibling died by suicide. Suicide has touched me. No, let me rephrase that, suicide has raked it’s claws across me, dug in, and refused to let go. I’m now what is commonly referred to as a “survivor of suicide.”
Today, this week, and well into the future, we’re asking you to fight with us.
Tomorrow exists to show you why you held on today.
Getting to play with the artist that helped me find hope and purpose felt like a collective achievement, as though I was representing something bigger than myself, bigger than just that moment. It was about witnessing tangible proof that things do get better.
One might characterize my behavior as “an impending disaster.” They wouldn’t be wrong. But how did I get there?
To read the stories of people, to quietly be involved in their struggles and their victories reminds me that it’s OK to be human, in all its flaws and all its glory.
I wish our doubts and fears made sense. I wish they would listen to the logic shown in the love of our friends and family. I wish they could be laid to rest with the simple knowledge that there is someone out there who cares.
Why couldn’t I just drink normally? Why couldn’t I stop after one glass, one beer—or even two? Heck, why couldn’t I go a whole Monday without pouring myself, four to six glasses before my lunch even arrived at the restaurant?
We have all felt pain, even if we pretend we haven’t. I think this somehow brings us together. I think this might be called love.
Today is not the day your story ends. Today is not the day the darkness wins. Today needs you to know that it’s okay to ask for help. Because tomorrow needs you.
When it all comes down to it, you are more than your art. You, as a living, breathing person, come before any of that—which is reason enough to take a medication that helps you stay alive.
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