It’s Okay to Slow Down
I ran until anorexia almost took me over completely. I ran until the scars tallied skin from my thigh to my waist because I couldn’t cope. I ran until I couldn’t anymore.
Topic: eating disorders
I ran until anorexia almost took me over completely. I ran until the scars tallied skin from my thigh to my waist because I couldn’t cope. I ran until I couldn’t anymore.
Even the deepest and darkest parts of my mind know that I am not a burden. The amount of space I require will never change that.
On a holiday centered around food, it’s near impossible for me, a person with an eating disorder, to maintain a healthy mindset.
Today, I share my story of survival. I did not believe that I would live to see my 18th birthday, yet here I am, living.
When I see declarations of happiness in pounds lost and images of shrinking frames, the voice of my eating disorder begins to rustle.
I want to share with you some of the everyday things that helped me along on my road to recovery from an eating disorder...
The truth is that I ignored warning signs that my eating disorder was back. The truth is that my grades were suffering and I was isolating myself. The truth is that I didn’t have an answer when my therapist asked me to name something I thought I was good at outside of my eating disorder. The truth is that I’m struggling.
Movement is so much more than a weapon of shame and my story is proof that it can be rewired.
In my ten years and counting, I’ve gathered some harsh, but hopefully beyond that, wise lessons. Lessons I think will help you, no matter where you are in your recovery.
I wish I could say that after 3 years and 4 treatment centers, I’m completely recovered. I mean, I could say that. It just wouldn’t be the truth.
Allow this to be my letter to you, an open invitation for you to use that voice to ask for the help you need and deserve. This is my shout into the void telling you that you are enough. Not too little, not too much. You are so fantastically, spectacularly enough.
Trying to love yourself in a world that tells you you aren’t worth loving as you are is a constant battle.
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