Living With the Door Open
I’m attracted to men. That single sentence has been a source of anxiety and depression for a large part of my life.
Topic: healing
I’m attracted to men. That single sentence has been a source of anxiety and depression for a large part of my life.
A year ago I was hopeless, broke, and I wanted to die. I believed that at the age of thirty-six it was too late to make a life worth living. I was so scared of myself because I had no idea who I really was without drugs or alcohol.
Losing my leg led to a slow and painful downward spiral toward rock bottom, and it has taken years to climb my way out.
You could say I’ve been through a trauma or two.
Come on decades of therapy, do your thing. Come on endless sessions in rehab, remind me that I am more than my rage.
I am now searching for the keys to unlock my caged emotions so that I might once in a while admit candidly before others that I am not always doing okay. And maybe, just maybe, it will be all right for me to be human.
The good exists even if it’s small, silly, or invisible.
If healing is finite, I am far from being healed, but I am not broken.
I’m here today for a lot of reasons, but TWLOHA is certainly one of them.
Maybe you’re like me, wondering if the temptation to harm yourself will ever go away. If I’m being honest, I really wish it would.
I spend much of my day supporting people in their lowest moments. I try to convey that they are worthy, that they deserve support and help, and how important it is that they take care of themselves.
No matter how ephemeral those good moments are, they’re what I live for.
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