The Lies My Eating Disorder Told Me
Eating disorders blur the image of who we are.
Topic: eating disorder
Eating disorders blur the image of who we are.
See Ed for what he really is: an invader of your space and your body as opposed to a part of who you are.
I ran until anorexia almost took me over completely. I ran until the scars tallied skin from my thigh to my waist because I couldn’t cope. I ran until I couldn’t anymore.
Even the deepest and darkest parts of my mind know that I am not a burden. The amount of space I require will never change that.
On a holiday centered around food, it’s near impossible for me, a person with an eating disorder, to maintain a healthy mindset.
Today, I share my story of survival. I did not believe that I would live to see my 18th birthday, yet here I am, living.
When I see declarations of happiness in pounds lost and images of shrinking frames, the voice of my eating disorder begins to rustle.
I want to share with you some of the everyday things that helped me along on my road to recovery from an eating disorder...
The truth is that I ignored warning signs that my eating disorder was back. The truth is that my grades were suffering and I was isolating myself. The truth is that I didn’t have an answer when my therapist asked me to name something I thought I was good at outside of my eating disorder. The truth is that I’m struggling.
Not long ago, a question bubbled to the surface of my brain: if my body could speak, would she forgive me?
I’m aware that this isn’t me, that this seemingly all-encompassing sadness is more of a leaching villain than the toxic-yet-comforting friend I initially saw it as. And if you know me, then you know how much I love a good superhero story.
Movement is so much more than a weapon of shame and my story is proof that it can be rewired.
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