Stories
Today, I share my story of survival. I did not believe that I would live to see my 18th birthday, yet here I am, living.
Today, I share my story of survival. I did not believe that I would live to see my 18th birthday, yet here I am, living.
“What’s wrong with me?” I pleaded. “Am I bipolar or something?”
beyond the clouds, it is there. waiting at an oak table with a mug of donut shoppe coffee and a newspaper, saying, “you’re alive. isn’t that the greatest thing anybody can be?”
I love myself four drinks in. Four shots of vodka and I am a great mom. Four drinks in and I’m funny and likable. The anxiety disappears. My mind quiets.
No one may know exactly how it all feels, but it’s my story to tell, my words to write down, and perhaps one day someone else might look at this and feel less alone.
It’s possible to live with scars, to feel the same pain you feel right now and to not hurt yourself because of it, to want to stop.
Depression is like a tunnel, not a cave.
When I see declarations of happiness in pounds lost and images of shrinking frames, the voice of my eating disorder begins to rustle.
How to even begin? I was pregnant, and now I’m not.
Everything is better shared. Our questions, our pain, our dreams, our fears.
Tomorrow you will do it all again. I know that’s scary to hear, especially since today you contemplated handing it in, crashing the car, putting a stop to it all. But keep going.
The funny thing about being broken, however, is that’s where you start to build yourself back up.
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